Mood: Still Pressured
Current thought in my head: must get more sleep and stop sleep walking
Current state of my heart: tired, but happy.
The weirdest thing happened last night. I walked in my sleep for the first time today and it was SO eeire. It was a good thing that my mom wa there. I was going out of the room and I was saying that I had to finish something because I had to pass it and I had to finish it immediately. Yup, if that isn’t pressured then I don’t know what it is. My dad’s worried about me, he said that with the amount of coffee that I consume, the pressure I put on myself and my own personal drama he says that I might break down soon, which isn’t really a good thing considering that finals are just a month away. Okay there I got placing pressure on myself. I’m just swamped with things that I have to and here I go worrying about the things that have been happening in my own personal life. To tell you honestly, things that have been happening within my personal life has taken a larger toll on me than things that I have to do for school. The freak that I am I actually enjoy it.
But I no longer want to elaborate, sometimes dealing with people is JUST TOO MUCH TO BEAR.Sometimes having to care so much about others and how much hurt they’ve caused you gets old (not to mention, makes you look old) and I just want to get rid of it right away.
Sometimes when the world becomes way too cruel than you can ever imagine, sometimes all you can do is sigh and wish like hell that the world would stop turning but I’ve read a quote somewhere that said that “the world doesn’t stop for your grief” and it’s true.
There may have been bad things or cruel people that have became major roadblocks in my life but my life doesn’t stop there, my passion for helping other people has not faltered.
I’m bruised but I’d like to think I’m better. They said that the world can turn you into an ugly person inside but this time I won’t let.
I still have that hope in my that after this dark road that I’ve been trudging on there would be light and on my way there, I know there would be people that I’d be meeting to shower some sunshine in my life.
My much needed sunshine.
I’ll continue to be a lending hand, no matter how bitchy life has become to me, I won’t let that stop me.