In a recent job interview, I was asked what my main goal was in life and I said, “Save the World in whatever way possible.” Which is absurd, don’t you think? The sentiment is not so bad really and there’s truth in that statement, I want to save the world.
But what I meant by saving the world is saving the world the way Angelina Jolie and Drew Barrymore does, by being an ambassador or just helping people in need—no matter how small my gesture can be. As long as it contributes to making someone’s life better then I’ve fulfilled my mission.What I failed to realize is that, saving people has become a hobby in all aspects of my life. I’ve only come to realize this fact last night while I was rereading The Rescue for the nth time.
In my friendships and infatuations, like Taylor Mc Aden, I am drawn to people who, in my opinion need to be saved. I t doesn’t matter if these people actually need to be saved or if they actually want to be saved. I choose to be closer to these people and build relationships with them and try, in my own small way to make their life better.
Looking at it that way doesn’t necessarily make it a bad thing. I enter each relationship with the best of intentions but just like Taylor, once the saving has been done, I run away.
An old friend of mine and I were discussing my need to run away when things are going my way. If you’re one of the few faithful readers of this blog, you would know that I always complain about things not going my way when in fact they are going my way but I just refuse to accept it.
I’m not sure if I’m making any sense. But I do hope that you understand what I’m trying to say.
Like in relationships, once things are in order, when things could finally happen, I find some sorry excuse to stop it.
Just like Taylor maybe I’m afraid to get hurt and maybe… just maybe that makes me the one who needs to be saved and not the other way around. Which is just silly psychobabble, but it makes sense. It makes sense and it helps define how I’ve acted in would be relationships of past months.
It also explains the current state of my heart and the decisions I’ve made. This obsession may have rooted from those crazy puzzle pieces that I enjoyed putting together when I was younger.
I love putting things back together.
That one line just makes sense, doesn’t it?