People always say that everyone has thier inner demon/rebel or however you may want to call it. Its inside everyone, even the nicest,sweetest and most adorable creatures on earth and unfortunatley… me.
Inasmuch as I try (empahsize on the word “try” please) to get along with everyone (even that witch who loathes me for no apparent reason acceptable), there’s still that “rebel” inside of me that’s screaming to get out. As a kid, I always found ways to release my inner rebel (punching my classmate’s eye using a cupcake, pulling my busmate’s hair and being called to the principal’s office every once and awhile).
I’m matured now but i must admit there are sill a lot of “peeves” that trigger my inner rebel to come out. I just realized that I can’t stand to be around people “I loathe”. I can never be plastic, if I hate you, it shows, but that doesn’t mean I go around hating people, that’s too pathetic. I hate for a reason (uhmmm…unlike…some witch who looks exactly like her broomstick…wahaha!) but eventually it goes away.
I can’t stay made long, but I cant repress my anger either. I say what I want and share my opinions no matter who’s listening.
I’m not sharing this because i’m proud of my inner rebel but im sharing it because antoher pet peeve of mine is when people take me for granted. I’m not a doormat and I’m not nice all the time.
I’m human… a real one at that.
*wink*

Lord, help me please;)

I think it was during our business math class that I innocently started surfing for people on friendster (how lame, i know hehehe) and I came across someone. That someone was interesting. Really interesting.
Ohwell…too late for that huh?

haha… its our math class and my classmates are reporting.
its math, do i even have to tell you that im
BORED?
nah not really;p

I know most of my past entries were really shallow. Nothing like my first blog. I don’t put in as much as I used to. I still write a lot though, just that I keep these thoughts to myself ( well actually my real journal keeps that.) And maybe its cause i’m super busy too. Too busy to just sit down and dwell on things.
But that doesn’t mean I don’t think things over anymore. I do, I just have different priorities right now. I mean how could I dwell on something so petty when i have six subjects to study for?! All of the information couldn’t fit in my brain anymore and I don’t want to stress myself more than I already am.
A lot has happened in my first term and i do mean a lot. I still get my moody hits. It comes every now and then, but its subtler this time. Instead of me freaking out everytime my moodiness comes, I just keep still and eventually i let it go.
I’ve grown up a lot. Its a good thing but growing up could be so boring. There’s a kid in me thats screaming to get out. I miss my kiddie self but at the same time so proud that I am where I am now.
I’m not a hypocrite, I must admit that I miss feeling “in love” (im not sure thou if i’ve ever been in love but the idea of it maybe). I miss having something to look forward to. But then again, reality is knocking on my door already. Its time for me to let go. I still visit it from time to time though, its just that right now i don’t have the time.
Growing up can be so…tiring. But the fruits of it is fun. Ahhh? What am I saying?
I have joy now. Meaning that it isn’t as fickle as my happiness. It’s always there. No matter how moody I get, its just there.
And that kind of balances everything out.
Kind of.
hhahahaha.

…..scared and nervous :’c

Artist: Travis
Album: 12 Memories
Title: Re-Offender

Keeping up appearances
Keeping up with the Jones’
Fooling my selfish heart
Going through the motions
But I’m fooling myself
I’m fooling myself
Cause you say you love me
And then you do it again, you do it again
You say your sorry’s
And then you do it again, you do it again
Everybody thinks you’re well
Everybody thinks I’m ill
Watching me fall apart
Falling under your spell
But you’re fooling yourself
You’re fooling yourself

Artist: Tyler Hilton
Album: The Tracks of Tyler Hilton
Title: Glad
Everywhere you go, perfection
Follows you the wrong direction
And you will never see if for
You get all that you need and more
You see it, you want it
You find it, it’s yours
But you can’t say what you want or
Take what you want or
Choose the moods that you fake when you want
You said your life couldn’t get much better
Then where it’s at
And aren’t you glad
The only one of 5;
exception
The child of your pride, deception
And on your list of things to do
Is make me fall in love with you
You find one,
you want one
Cause I’m one,
who plays
You can’t say what you want or
Take what you want or
Choose the moods that you fake when you want
You said your life needed something special
Which you don’t have
You can’t say what you want or
Take what you want or
Rest and wake anyway that you want
You said your life couldn’t get much better
Well, here I am, and aren’t you glad.
Now you got it badI know you do
You can’t say what you want or
Take what you want or
Choose the moods that you fake when you want
You said your life couldn’t get much better
Then where you’re at
And you can’t say what you want or
Take what you want or
Rest and wake anyway that you want

Crazy huh to be hearing it from me, the resident dramaqueen? Wala lang, Im just so sick with the drama, it gets to iritating sometimes and it pulls down my energy.
I just really want to live my life, its too short
and to everyone who don’t like me:
THANK YOU:)
hehe;)