Thank you, Danilo!

Up to this day, I am still pinching myself over the fact that I do have a real, legit column that comes out every week. For a girl who’s been writing to herself (and this online world I created ten years ago), it’s amazing to think that now people actually really my work. It’s also extremely encouraging to me to have people actually comment on the articles I have written. One of the people I’m grateful for is Danilo who manages to comment on my article every week. Having one person read it every week and take the time to comment is such a blessing, that has always been my goal to only touch at least just one person. So sharing with you his comment of the week. 

Distilling Life with Olan Ventura

IT is safe to say that on a daily basis, we see Instagram images “filtered to perfection” from celebrities to the ordinary folks around us.
It is this filtered to perfection culture that has made my visit of Olan Ventura’s Unstilled Life exhibit at the Ayala Museum’s ArtistSpace all the more intriguing. In a world where we work day and night to show the best part of ourselves, in the best angles possible, Olan’s latest exhibition shows us that there can be beauty found in perspectives otherwise ignored.
In this exhibit, Ventura used ordinary objects, fruits in particular, to depict the message mentioned above. By using ordinary fruits, he distilled and peeled layers of what seemed like ordinary objects and turned them into thought provoking works of art.
His exhibition shows a different spin on subjects that we have all gotten used to such as the produce we use everyday. In his work titled “After and After,” Ventura unhinges what could be ordinary cherries and showcases them wrapped and partially unwrapped thus allowing an individual to see them from a different perspective.
Ventura, who’d rather have his work speak for himself, also says that in order to see beauty in all things, one has to accept that beauty can also be found in other perspectives and angles. Such can be found in “Cream of the Crop,” “perfect, unbruised specimens over-ripe in their realism and then dissected.”
The thought-provoking exhibit has had me, an art novice, thinking about life and how we see situations, things, and people around us. Most of the time, we’re dead set in our own ideals and how we wish for things to be, thinking that this is the only way to live without realizing that sometimes, all it takes is a change in perspective or quick turn of the angle to see that even if life is not what we have always wanted it to be, it’s still a gift and it’s still beautiful amidst the chaos.
All it takes is a change in perspective.

Life Lessons from the Corner Office

Without batting an eyelash many would be quick to say that company bigwigs are intimidating figures in any workplace environment. They look stiff, don’t smile, and are difficult to deal with, spending their work days hidden in their corner offices.
Francis Flores, however, breaks all those stereotypes. When I met with him recently, he projected a youthful and engaging image. One wouldn’t think that he holds a very critical position in one of the country’s most prestigious companies. Yet, 38 year-old Francis is the Vice President and International Business Head for Mainstream Markets of world-renowned Jollibee Food Corporation. Francis and his team are in charge of bringing the Filipino favorite fast food chain to overseas markets with large populations but small Filipino communities. In the past two years, Francis has helped establish and create a solid following for Jollibee in countries like Vietnam, Indonesia, and China.
Before his current position, he was the General Manager for Greenwich overseeing the brand’s marketing efforts and operations. He brought a youthful vibe to the brand with unforgettable and funny “barkada” ad campaigns featuring actor John Lloyd Cruz (remember the sobrang cheesy campaign a few years back?). Under his leadership, Greenwich not only won awards for its compelling ads but also became the second favorite fast food restaurant in the country, next to Jollibee.
An overachiever while growing up, Francis is a product of the University of the Philippines education system—having studied there from pre-school until college—graduating with a degree in Business Administration and Management.
At 20 and straight out of college, he worked for Unilever as a Management Trainee and soon became the youngest Area Sales Manager at the age of 23. It’s safe to say that at this point, he was on the road to a really fulfilling career, but right before he turned 30 and while holding the position of Regional Brand Director at Unilever, Francis found himself questioning his purpose.
While he was extremely comfortable and happy at his job and his career path, a nagging sense inside him couldn’t help him wonder, “What can I do to give back?” At 29, it wasn’t enough that he was passionate about his work; he realized he needed purpose as well.
He realized his life’s mission in, of all places, an airport in London, when his flight was delayed. “Being in that international setting, I concluded that Filipinos are the best Asian marketers. We’re good communicators, very creative, and strategic.
So it made me think, if we’re good marketers, why don’t we have brands that are successful globally?
Francis knew right then that the best way to give back to the country was by creating a global brand that will help fuel the economy. “Jollibee could be a good global candidate.” Two months later, he received a call from a headhunter saying that Jollibee needed someone for a new position that would help Jollibee go global. Instantly, Francis found the purpose he had been longing for.
Purpose is what fuels Francis every day. “What drives me is that it’s not just a job, it’s a mission. I feel like I’m on a mission that’s aligned with my personal mission and at the same time (my desire to be) nationalistic. My mission is to make Jollibee a truly global brand that everyone can be proud of.”
He also aims to be the kind of leader that develops others to be the best versions of themselves. “It’s important to have the right mindset of what a leader is. A leader is not there to be served, but to serve. When I first became a general manager for Greenwich, my former boss, Ariel Fermin, told me, ‘You only have two roles as a leader: lead them to the right direction; and take care of them.’”
This servant leadership mentality has developed leaders within his team and he is quick to say that nothing brings him greater joy than seeing members of his team accelerate both at work and in life.

He also strongly believes in eliminating politics in his team, with emphasis on leading by example—which he does through transparency and calling out negativity the moment he sees it.

When asked for his success secrets, he was quick to point out the importance of marrying one’s passion and purpose. “The first thing is to know your passion. That requires a lot of self-awareness. The earlier you have self-awareness, the better for you. That includes being honest about what you want and what you don’t want. Number two, you have to work hard; there’s no substitute for that. I always tell fresh grads, being in your twenties is crucial. Sayang yung time because at that age, you can still afford to make mistakes. But you have to invest time and energy, especially in your first few years at work. Think of it as depositing in your own personal bank account. And when you fail, learn from it. Be humble enough to know that you don’t know everything. Always go beyond what’s expected of you. Always aim to exceed.”

Francis adds, “Attitude goes a long way. Honestly, in the long run, your intellectual capacity or your intelligence is not enough. It’s attitude and character that make you succeed.”

Francis is a devoted Christian. He believes that without God, none of his successes would be possible. He believes that everything that has happened in

his life, both good and bad, are for a purpose. This is the reason why, despite his success, Francis remains grounded, not lost in the trappings of position, power and material possessions or luxuries.

“Everything I have, including the title, and the position, is from God, pahiram lang; and if I don’t use it well, He will take it away. He gave that to me to not use in the wrong way. For me, leadership is a position of influence where you can make a difference in the lives of people.”

And with that, Francis’ life is definitely one that will leave an impact beyond the four walls of his corner office, out to where it matters most. 

Gift Time & Creativity This Christmas!

Without a doubt, kids these days are constantly glued to their smartphones, tablets, and even TV sets. This doesn’t give them a lot of time to bond with other children, or worse, make time for things that stir their imagination.

Good thing workshops like Santa Family: Gift Love on Christmas Day! exist, especially during the holidays. Give the gift of time and creativity to your children by attending this seminar. Not only will you get to bond with your kid but also get to help the He Cares Foundation.

You can choose the crafts you want to learn to make, here’s a rundown of the DIY tricks that you can learn with your tot, or even nieces / nephews. For more information, you can click the link above or check the poster below.



Currentlys: The 26 Year Old Edition

Since I’ve had this blog since I was sixteen, it has seen everything and I mean, everything that I have been in the past ten years. While some “bloggers” choose to “hide” the years of shame (aka years before the filter), I choose to let it be exposed for all the entire world to see. In my younger years, my blog (though filled with teen angst) have included lighter subjects such as: what I’m reading, what I’m watching, who’s hot, and so forth.

Today, however, my blog has become ‘heavier’ and so rather randomly, I choose to share again what I’m reading, listening to, and watching just for posterity’s sake. Maybe, in a few blog entries, I will also be sharing outfit shots, but for now, this would do.

Currently Listening To

Of course Taylor Swift’s 1989 is on the loop along with old favorites aka my eclectic playlist  like Lorde, Tupac (occasionally) , Drake, Hillsong, Bethel Live, Magic, Coldplay, Nick Jonas, Beyonce, and even Ariana Grande. But what keeps my ears busy all day are my favorite podcasts, that of which I’m sharing here.

Serial, This American Life 

It’s the story of the mystery behind the case of Hae Min Lee, a fifteen year old case in Baltimore. The Shelby Woo in me is really interested in this one simply because it’s the right mix of mystery, high school romance gone sour, and a judicial system that may have not gotten it right. It also touches the topic of race and discrimination. If you’re looking for something to listen to while doing mundane tasks, this is the way to go.

City Church, Judah Smith

Part of my day begins with listening to wisdom from Judah Smith. I’ve been following Pastor Judah Smith since reading Jesus Is at the beginning of the year and my heart has been transformed, slowly but surely.

Ted Talks

I’m the queen of short attention span so these quick Ted Talks are really helpful. It’s important to learn something new everyday and I’m picking up more than a few things from this channel.

Currently Watching

Yes, I did see Mockingjay and no, I’m not going to dive into how disappointing that was. The thing about me is that I absolutely enjoy having something to watch on my old school iPod classic right before I fall asleep. It’s a weird quirk but aides in my very rigid sleeping pattern.
The Mindy Project
   – Like you need a reason as to why I’m watching Dr. Mindy Lahiri aka my soul sister. Also, have you seen Danny Castellano.
The Office Season 6

   – I was in college when The Office trend started so I couldn’t quite identify with them yet but now that i’m in my “mid” twenties, I’m thoroughly enjoying Michael Scott’s adventures.
The Newsroom 

  – Let me just say, a show that makes you think is a show that deserves to stay on air, but since it’s ending in December, I’m relishing my time with this. 

Currently Reading

My Kobo has not helped in making me focus on just one book. So it’s safe to say that I’m reading several books all at once. 
However, top two on my list are:
1) Trading Spaces, Steven Wyatt
2) 11-22-63, Stephen King

Okay, I know this hasn’t been the most detailed list, but once I do get enough time on my plate, I promise to do reviews of everything mentioned above, but until then, I hope this, along with  google search helps you find new things to occupy your time with. 🙂 

Flawless

“You were a feminist even before Beyonce sang about it,” this was what my younger brother quipped a few weeks ago while I was mindlessly dancing to Beyonce’s Flawless. The rise of the culture saturated by the Taylor Swifts, Lena Dunhams, Beyonces, Mindy Kaling, and Amy Poehlers has increased the debate what it’s really like to become a feminist.
Merriam Webster defines feminism as, “the advocacy of women’s rights on the grounds of political, social, and economic equality to men.” In simplistic terms, it simply means that we are all treated equally, regardless of gender. Today, women fight day and night in order to not be confined by gender roles.
Growing up, I have seen my parents commit to equally important roles in our household, no one was more important than the other. My dad, who hails from a male dominated field, also never felt the need to impose that the “male” had more power in our home. Without realizing it, I have applied these principles to the way I lived my life. In school, I wasn’t afraid to compete with the boys in class whether it was for a spot on the student council, during debates, or even in sports. My high school didn’t have a girls’ basketball team so I practiced with the men’s team for about a month before they said it just wasn’t working. It’s safe to say that I was raised to think that there wasn’t such a thing as the “weaker sex”.
I was also fortunate enough to be raised by a man who does not expect me to get married to get ahead. There was none of that talk in my household. From the moment I watched my first Disney movie, my dad told me that I was to build a life of my own and not depend on men to build one for me. Since then, I aggressively went after my career and chose possible partners based on their intelligence, humor, and kindness, but never based on their jobs or social standing. There was no way that I was going to go after someone for his money or fame. I am there to encourage and support my partner and his achievements but never take credit for it. My dad frowns upon the idea that his daughter was just going to be “someone’s wife”.
And it’s good to see that more and more women are taking the stand. Today, women are not simply stepping out of “gender roles” but also recreating them. Personally, I think being a feminist doesn’t mean your anti-men or anti-marriage or anti-motherhood, but it means that you’re comfortable enough to make decisions that are right for you and no one else. It means you believe in your decisions and strong enough to fight for them.

It means you no longer allow people to put you inside a box. It means taking a stand for those who are bullied and not letting men define your worth. It means you’re living a life that you chose for you – not one dictated by society and definitely not one dictated by who you’re in a relationship with. It means being courageous enough to love who you see in the mirror and most importantly, it’s putting into good use what you have been blessed with.
At the end of the day, I believe that the most important part of being a feminist is doing something to make the world a better place. That this equality that women before fought so hard for has to make a dent in society, we have to be the kind of women who strive to make the world a little brighter than when we found it.

Because if it’s not for serving others, what other purpose is it for?

Instagram Isn’t Real

“And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your soul?” – Mark 8:36
Everyday, we are bombarded with social scorecards brought about by the rise of social media. Today, we often rate our social standing by concrete numbers: likes, followers, retweets, blog views, and so on. Due to the phenomenon brought about by Friendster, MySpace, and eventually Facebook, everyone, even ordinary, everyday human beings with the right filter and angling instantly become mini celebrities.

While social media has definitely helped us to stay in touch with friends and family and has opened up the world us be educated about what’s happening with the rest of the world without having to leave the comfort of our homes, the negative side effects of it can also be damaging.
Very different from the time when we were all still learning the ropes of social media, today, we are likely to create an “Instagram” world vs. our “real” world. According to Huffington Post, “Perception is everything, especially in the world of social media. In terms of perception, we all have an ideal self.” And as we engage more and more in these platforms, the more we are driven by competition to project a lifestyle that is quite different from the ones we live daily.  The gap between our “social media persona” and our “everyday persona” widens and often we are entrenched in creating a double life of filtering, angling, and editing. While these skills are useful in creating young teens that are multi-hyphenated, it can easily corrupt a soul and take away the focus on what’s important in life.
Human beings, in general, are always in a constant search of approval and validation. We used to derive this from real life human interactions but have now settled for the approval of our little blue screens.
Don’t get me wrong, there are days when I crave for the likes and the follows too. But then I realized, what kind of validation am I searching for?

Has the “look at me” culture of social media turned me into a heartless, social media vulture? Am I hollow on the inside? Am I obsessed with doing things in order to have something to upload on my social media sites? Do I upload things to prove to the ones I’ve had outs with that I am living a good life? Am I constantly working out and dieting in order to look good in my #selfieshots?

Has this translated into my daily living, only concerned about what’s happening on the outside disregarding things like kindness, love, and service? Have I created a life full of glitter and gold on the outside without placing importance in how I’m adding value to the lives of others?
Has this social media behavior translated into my everyday life? Have I cared too much on looking beautiful without taking care of the core of who I am?
While I may not have concrete answers, I do know one thing: no matter how beautiful you are, or how lovely you Instagram feed is, at the end of the day, it all doesn’t matter if you don’t have a compassionate heart.
A “for show” life has no value if I don’t respect my parents, encourage others, or put others first.  These realizations have reminded me of what’s important in life: the reality that it’s really not about me at all. We weren’t sent on earth to constantly be served, but to serve, love, and most importantly, be kind.

The Big Tale of Little Quiapo

Every person in our lives has a backstory, how we met, where we met, and how long we’ve known each other. Some stories are generic: common friends, former friends, a colleague, and so on. However, some stories are quirky and always a joy to share. One particular story I enjoy telling is how I met one of my oldest friends, Miggy Bartolome Caleon. Miggy and I met in 2002 through a common friend, Daisy Castelar, when he was a freshman in De La Salle Zobel and I was a sophomore in another school. It was the age of ‘texting’ and one of the ‘in things’ that kids did those days was texting someone from another school. This was way before Friendster or MySpace, so Miggy and I became friends even before we knew what each other looked like. We managed to stay in touch all these years but only ‘met in person’ this year because we unknowingly went to the same gym.
Miggy and I finally got the chance to catch up on our “adult lives” a few weeks ago and I was surprised to know that Miggy, who part of the Strategic Marketing group at Solaire Resort and Casino decided to forego working for the family business to gain experience and make a name for himself.
Miggy’s family owns the famed Little Quiapo restaurant, one of the most liked Filipino restaurants in the metro today. He recalls the story of how his maternal grandfather started the business, “The business started in 1949, my lolo was originally an ice cream vendor. He was going to hospitals to sell his homemade ice cream and when he was able to save enough money, he set up a branch in UP Diliman.” As a quick trivia, Little Quiapo never had a branch in Quiapo and was in fact originally named Rendezvous but was changed to Little Quiapo as a reference to how busy the restaurant was just like the famed Quiapo in Manila. Branches however in highly populated areas soon opened and that was the beginning of the success the very Pinoy restaurant famous for their pancit and halo halo.
Despite the success of Little Quiapo, now managed by Miggy’s parents and his mom’s siblings, Miggy, a graduate of Business Management from the Ateneo De Manila University chose to forge his own path in the hotel industry, “For most people with family businesses, they tend to rely on the business) but growing up we’ve always been exposed to being responsible. Working outside gives us a better understanding of how to deal with customers, and how to run business from another perspective.”
Miggy attributes his hardworking ways to the way his parents trained him growing up, having to work during the summer for allowances beginning with small tasks for the business until they were given bigger responsibilities as they grew older. He even attended culinary school in Ramon Magsaysay Institute to gain better knowledge of how the kitchen works which helped him as he began handling the catering side of the business two years ago. Lately, Miggy and his two younger siblings have also added the needed vibe to attract the younger set.

For Miggy, taking over is inevitable but for him, being ready for it by gaining experience is just as vital. In a world where the entitled easily get their way, it’s refreshing to see people like Miggy who truly work hard and don’t simply take what they were born for. It’s people like him who truly make all the difference.

Remembering KC

For most young professionals, the Halloween weekend could only mean one thing: partying in costumes you spent about three months deciding on. While others choose to let loose, there are also people who are choosing to reflect the year that was and loved ones who have gone before us.
As I write this entry, my mind travels back to my first ever soul sister, KC De Venecia. I was about to turn eleven when I first met her in the halls of Colegio San Agustin. A new student from an exclusive girls’ school, I found the co-ed environment quite jarring and found solace in the quiet girl at the back of the classroom who always had her nose buried in a book. We quickly bonded over our love for Sweet Valley books, Full House reruns, movies we weren’t allowed to watch yet, Freddie Prinze Jr., Sixpence None the Richer, and good food.
KC was the epitome of the girl who was humble to the core. It took me months to figure out that KC was indeed part of a popular, influential clan. She never spoke about it and even had a phase where she refused to wear anything but three shirts that included a grey Beauty and the Beast shirt. KC was always on the lookout for “fun” things to do although as dorky fifth graders the boldest thing we have ever done was riding a taxi unsupervised from school to Glorietta to play in Timezone (shocking, I know). Hanging out usually meant binging on Full House marathons while trying to find new ways to diet (in our eleven year old minds, we needed to look like Britney Spears). One of my favorite memories of her was when we carved our names (along with our large group of friends) into one of the side tables in her room. KC was boisterous and wasn’t afraid to laugh and be silly. At eleven years old, she had a strong sense of self and was unafraid to be herself. She was strong willed and often reminded me to not sweat the small stuff.
To this day, I recall her telling me in her trademark KC face, “Bianx, it’s not a big deal” whenever I mentioned dramatic stories about our “clique.” KC also largely influenced my love for caffeine, being the first person to introduce me to Starbucks and often reminded me to live life to the fullest during the times we passed autograph books in class.
It has been fifteen years since I met KC and almost ten years since the fire that took her away too soon.
A lot has happened since then and yet I still find myself smiling over the memories of the friend who stayed loyal till the very end. In one of our last text conversations, KC was giddy about prom and even sent me this message, “Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.” It was the perfect example of our friendship.
Today, I remember KC and celebrate her life. It has been ten years and yet her impact in my life hasn’t lessened. Wherever you are Kace, I hope you know that you are still in my heart and everyday I thank God for allowing me to know someone like you. You continue to inspire me to live life to the fullest and most importantly, not take myself too seriously. You are still missed and never forgotten.

Paradoxical Love

Most of the time, we’re afraid. Afraid of what we’re not going to receive and afraid that we’re not being loved the way that we want to. We’re afraid to put ourselves out there out of the fear that we would never be loved as much as we love. 

If you’ve lived long enough to be hurt, you would find the need to put up unnecessary walls, thinking that until a person proves that he (or she) is worthy enough of you, you wouldn’t allow yourself to budge. However, you would also understand that sometimes life doesn’t turn out the way that we want them to. Yes, we can try our best to hide behind our masks or deny what we really feel. We can even put out a list of reasons why we shouldn’t feel a certain way, but at the end of the day, the feelings are still there and the more we deny them, the more they prop up.

I no longer want to be the kind of girl who runs away just because I’m afraid that I won’t be loved in the way that I want to. I no longer want to be the girl who’s so small and fragile that she can’t accept something as ordinary as unrequited love. I want to be the kind of girl who’s heart is so big that it can love beyond people’s faults and unreturned affection. While this doesn’t mean that I will go out and be wild with just about anyone as some sort of late rebellion, this means that I will no longer try to shove all my feelings inside of myself.

Truth be told, I am an emotional person and when I feel things, I want to feel them until I am emptied of them. I no longer want to hide behind the shadows of pretending to be someone I’m not in order to be liked nor do I want to always be cautious of how I feel, only “giving” feelings to those who are worthy of them. Truth be told, how do we know if someone’s worthy or not? Is it because of their looks? Their crassness? Is it because of how they treat me?

Jesus once said that if we only love those who love us, we are just like everyone else in the world for it is easy to love those who love us but the most difficult thing is to love those who have done us wrong and have hurt us, whether intentionally or unintentionally. I want to stop being so afraid of what I feel and I also want to stop waiting on life. I want to love until I couldn’t (which, through Jesus, maybe impossible). I want to feel everything without the threat of pride or without thinking of my ego.

I don’t think it’s the worst thing in the world to not be loved back. We have placed so much importance in what people do for us that we forget that we love in order to serve and not be served. This has been in my heart for quite awhile and the message is still as strong as when I first hurt, and while I danced around it this week (pride may have been stronger), I still choose to love.

I choose to love, I choose to feel and I choose to serve and encourage others. The ones I choose to love may never love me back with the same kind of intensity, but I believe that God sees my heart and as I do it unto Him, one day, I will be surprised that all the love I’ve given has been given to me beyond measure, but until then, my heart is open, my heart is big, and I am happy.