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forgiven… just because.

“If we give up on him, he does not give up— 
      for there’s no way he can be false to himself.”

                         2 Timothy 2:13 (MSG)

One of my first memories of pre-school was of legit legalism, basically if I do well I get to take home something (I keep forgetting that no, I may not take home the grocery set) but if I don’t I get to face the wall alone which means I can’t make funny faces with a classmate while facing the wall.

And as I grew older, the different set of legalism changed, it suddenly depended on my weight, on my grades and everything else that had a lot to do with earning whatever good thing that was in my life.

This is the reason why I always felt elated whenever I got a good grade or did well on a project at work because it meant that I was good at something and that I excelled, that I achieved. The same was also true whenever I committed a mistake simply because it meant that it was I who failed, this was especially unbearable if I do something so wrong and many hours were spent taking care of it and making it “right” so to speak.

This type of thinking followed me until I grew up and somehow, eventhough I grew up a Christian, it was quite difficult for me to grasp the fact that God loved me unconditionally and that His love for me remains the same no matter what I do, no matter how huge the sin I have done.

My sin will not make me stop Him from blessing me because He is a generous God and although He does hate sin, He doesn’t hate me, in fact He sent Jesus to cover all the things I’ve done wrong, all that I am doing wrong and all that I will do wrong.

It is also true that I cannot control God through my actions, after all He is God and I am not, a fact that I often forget whenever I am too focused on myself. I know this is not an excuse to keep doing the things that break His heart, but it means that even if I trip when I’m trying my best He won’t take it against me.

We must also stop thinking that God is mad at us, or allows bad things to happen to us simply because we are not “good enough” because to begin with, we are saved because of what Jesus did and not because of anything that we did.

It is quite safe to say that no matter what I do, as long as I keep my eyes focused on Jesus, no matter how trips I make or how many times I may disappoint Him, He will never let me go and that He is always willing to give me infinite chances.

This is something I could never deserve, but it is what is freely given to us, and this is what makes me love God even more because no matter what I do, I am loved. 

This is the reason why I can love and forgive others when it is not the easiest thing to do simply because I was given so many chances so many times, it would be hypocritical of me to treat others with anything less than love.

To be loved like this could also mean that I should be in a constant joyous state simply because I am loved just because and that is enough of a blessing because His love causes great and beautiful things to happen in my life not because I am good but because He is.

I could only love because He loved me first and for that I am forever grateful.


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my love affair with the kennedys

my boss lent me the best mini-series i’ve ever seen in awhile.

i remember reading about the conspiracies when JFK’s only son, JFK Jr. died in an airplane crash when I was eleven and from then on my fascination with the Kennedys started and although i was more interested in The Kennedys rather than Jackie O, as most girls would.

there was something mystical about the rise (i couldn’t say fall) of the American Royal Family that made them more interesting to me than that of Princess Diana and Prince Charles (Kate was yet to be known to me and Harry was a youngster who could never be cuter than his brother) and although school has gotten in the way of my history lesson on the side, i’ve always been intrigued by them and watched everything i could get my hands on including the 2006 “Bobby” starring Emilio Estevez, Lindsay Lohan, Joshua Jackson, Shia Labeouf and Demi Moore. i also enjoyed the “Jack and Bobby” series that only lasted for one season (really, one season only? really?).

so anyway, watching the mini-series just made me even more obsessed with the elusive family. for one thing, all of them were beautiful, i mean seriously take one look at that family and you can see that they were just so beautiful, although not in a blinding way but in a kindda rugged, kindda rough but still very charismatic way. and something has to be said about their intelligence. and another thing, that intelligence and charisma, but the third thing that drew me and probably the most powerful factor is how closely knit their family was.

their story was so stunning it made me wish that i lived in that era.

i think that was the reason why they were so strong and why they were able to build such a dynasty and now that i am finished with the series, i cannot help but feel a deep sense of awe… truly, at the end of the day the most that you have is family.

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His goodness

“God is all-knowing and all-powerful makes his goodness even better. I can trust God even if things look bleak. It does not matter that God is all-powerful or all-knowing if He is not all good. If He is not all-good, I will never be able to love and trust him.”


– James Bryan Smith, The Good and Beautiful God


God is trustworthy.

Growing up, we have come across the adage that if we only do good that is the only time that God will be good to us but in truth, no matter what we do, whatever situation we’re in, God is always good.


I have said that sentence a million times since I grew up in a Christian home, I have heard this sentence in songs, church and even in school. However, I never truly understood it. I mean of course God is good, He is good, but what does that have to do with me?

In truth, it has a lot to do with me, it has a lot to do with my faith because how I perceive God to be is the foundation of my relationship with Him.

it is so easy to relate God to our circumstances. it is so easy to base our belief in God with what’s happening to us or around us. if things are great, wow God is great, but if things are not doing so well then how does this make us view God?

in truth, it should be the other way around, whatever our circumstances are, our view of God must remain the same.

God holds us in the palm of our hand. God has the entire Universe in His hands and He can practically do anything He want and yet He doesn’t simply because He is good and therefore nothing about Him is ever bad or evil, therefore He cannot cause His children any harm simply because there is nothing bad about Him at all.

It is kind of a difficult concept to grasp all at once but I hope this starts your week right: God is good all the time.

The most powerful being in the Universe, who can do anything with a snap of a finger loves you and is constantly good to you so what is there to fear? What should we be intimidated by?

Truly this is the only truth that you should stand upon on this week. Our God is good and most of all, He is good to you.

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meet franzea at 1.6 years old!

i cannot believe it has been a year since franzea cosette aka the love of my life has entered my life and now here she is at 1.6 years old:

at 1.6 franzea is in love with: Elmo (Mel-Mo), Abby Cadaby (my personal favorite) and her Baby Alive doll who is walking around without a pampers and who she fondly calls wee-wee.

it amazes me how much franzea knows and how fierce she is. a little fierce little girl who won’t take no for an answer. franzea is also so much advanced for her age remembering things like whose ipod has the song that she currently has (i am to embarrassed to tell you which song that is and who owns the ipod *guilty face*) and she also knows who to run to when she wants to get something (again, guilty). she has so many antics i don’t even know where to begin.

a great highlight though is this:

she started potty training already!

it is such a beautiful thing to watch a little child grow up and even at 1.6, i can tell that franzea is going to take over the world and me, as her nana will always be there, no matter what!

i love you franzea and i hope you know how much my life has changed since you arrived on earth 1 year and six months ago.