hits period

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OH! That CHARM!

My friends incessantly call me “boy-crazy” for the same reason that parents call thier “tween” aged girls the same.
I am constantly in love with someone from the wonderworld called Hollywood.

If you’ve seen my very long list of the people I would want to meet, you’d get my point.

It’s safe to say that the past weekend wasn’t any different. Once again, I was submerged into TV-Landia and found myself googling and drooling over new guys.

Based on the very reliable source that I’ve found on the net, these guys are all.. well… geeks.

Which for me, heightens the appeal.

I am one weird girl with an equally weird taste in guys.
I really don’t know what the appeal is. For as long as I can remember I have liked the odd one out (except for a very short period of time wherein I was delusioned enough to think that I actually liked jocks).

I was in love with Arthur at the tender age of 7 for crying out loud! And up to this day, I never admitted it but I fell in love with Billy the Blue Ranger from Power Rangers and not Jason, the Red “heartthrob” ranger.

I really don’t know why.

To me, I guess, they provide more mystery as compared to a guy who’s all over town. There’s something “exciting” dare I say about a guy who’d rather do something corny such as Tree Hill marathons than go on and drink with the guys.
No, I am not wishing to date a mutant and all guys are the same (according to Tina-Hakim Baba from Princess Diaries) but there must be exceptions like the guys up there.

It may be wishful thinking and I’m really not thinking of falling in love anytime soon so for the meantime, my hollywood crushes are just fine, thank you:)

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The vice of my life.

This article may actually betray my first vice: coffee.

(But, the dear love of my past life, all good things must come to an end and I’m afraid that our relationship is going down the drain. I am just not allowed to have you in my life and with that we just have to deal. *sniff*)

So, instead of sulking, I decided to refocus my energies on the next best thing: television.

When ever I take a cup of coffee, I always had my handy notebook or an exciting book with me and I am just taken away for hours, just daydreaming and relaxing. (That’s probably the reason why I consume three in just one sitting).

It’s my vice in the sense that it allows me to stop in the middle of the day and just breathe life in.

That was how powerful coffee was for me. Pretty lame but it can create miraculous things.

BUT, I am not talking about that right now but instead I am going to write about my life as a TV addict.

Yes addicted to it.

Since I’m pretty much a homebody, the TV has been my best pal since I was seven.

Or six.

I really can’t remember, all I know is that I loved Arthur, Little Mary Lamb Chops and Little Lulu. I think that’s where it started.

Or the days that my dad and I would watch Mighty Ducks all day long.

So anyway, the couch potato life is actually the good life. It replaces my addiction to coffee because it does take me away from (the sometimes harsh!) reality and allow me to either be a tomboy who became an unconventional heartthrob, girl detective, the most popular girl in school, the popular girl with designer clothes and the tutor girl who falls in love with a jock.

I’ve also been the thirty something woman who sounded like she had nasal decongestion who once became a nanny and after a couple of years off the air, fell in love with a younger man.

Or be indestructible. Or have a dr. Jekyll and Hyde personality (hmm, I know someone who comes close).
Or be a surgeon. McSteammy!!!

I was also stuck in the 60s, trying to fight a war and a girl who was assigned by God to save the world and most of all myself.

Or have the map of a prison tattoed on my body.

It may sound really pathetic but watching those TV shows really allow me to reflect things in my life. Aside from the fact that they make me really happy.

Without these shows, I would not be able to know who to choose between McSteamy and McDreamy!

And that decision may change my life.

Seriously!!

Kidding aside, life is truly more colorful these days because of that addiction and I tell you not all addictions can be considered healthy.

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Songs that exactly describe my life right now

HAPPY

I understand why you’re looking for tears in my eyes

Trust me they were there but now the well has been dried

I was in so deep but couldn’t get out

I sat on feelings I buried deep down

I knew there come a day when all eyes would cross

And glad its today cause now I am strong

I’m happy and I can thank myself

If it were up to you

I’d be in my bed crying

But I’m happy and I know that makes you sad

After all the things you put me through

I’m finally getting over you

There is a reason why we met, I’m glad that we did

I got back a part of me I really missed

They say you that you brought me down all the time

All the bitterness has passed

And I only wish you

Someone who could do what I can’t

BIG GIRLS DON’T CRY

Da Da Da Da
The smell of your skin lingers on me now
Your probably on your flight back to your home town
I need some shelter of my own protection baby
To be with myself instead of calamity
Peace, Serenity

hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It’s personal, Myself and I
We’ve got some straightenin’ out to do
And I’m gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But Ive got to get a move on with my life
Its time to be a big girl now
And big girls don’t cry

The path that I’m walking
I must go alone
I must take the baby steps until
I’m full grown
Fairytales don’t always have a happy ending, do they
And I foresee the dark ahead if I stay

Like the little school mate in the school yard
We’ll play jacks and uno cards
Ill be your best friend and you’ll be mine
Valentine
Yes you can hold my hand if u want to
Cause I want to hold yours too
Well be playmates and lovers and share our secret worlds
But its time for me to go home
Its getting late, dark outside

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When do we really deserve what we want?

When we were younger, we would only be able to be given the “Baby All Gone” doll only when we get high grades or win a spelling bee or something.
Achievement would make us deserve that doll because that’s what we wanted.

As you grow older, one would only deserve to be on varsity team if one has “special talent”, that’s the only requisite, however if you “worked hard” you would deserve to be on the team as well.

A basketball team deserves to win if they put their heart in the game.

Maybe in those specific circumstances, one may actually have to work to deserve something.

But, what about the other things in life?

Like friends.
Like attention from your parents.
Like respect from your peers
Or that special person

When it comes to these things you always question “Do I really deserve it?” One always asks if they’re good enough to actually deserve what they have.

If one has a million and one friend, they go thinking, “Why do I have all them?”

Or when one has the perfect parents, they leave it all to luck.

Somehow friends and family are easily digested rather than having that perfect dream person in our lives.

The person we’ve waited our whole lives to have.

When that happens to us we somehow think, “What have I done to have this person in my life?”

Which I think is the craziest thing ever.

Primarily because we think less of ourselves and never think that “we deserve it”.

What is truly the measure of deserving something? Or Someone?

Do beauty queens and supermodels deserve more than “normal” girls?

Is our lack of faith in ourselves connects to our belief in Santa Clause?

You do remember the Naughty and Nice list right?

I think that’s a totally foreign idea especially to adults.

We should somehow learn to grow up, but don’t be coming after me for advice on how to grow up simply because I’m often lost in the rules of that phase as well.

Anyway, back to the purpose of this entry.

When oh when do we deserve what we want?

When can we own something or someone and not feel like it’s going to go away simply because we don’t deserve it.

I really hope that people would stop thinking that way.

When it comes to things that we really can’t buy or work hard for we often push it away subconsciously because we’re too afraid that we don’t deserve it.

I guess this may explain a couple of things about life and our choices.

So, you, whoever you are nice enough to read my blog need to make a choice today- I just want to tell you that you deserve it.

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The Year That Was

I am sitting at a noisy restaurant and listening to cheesy music from the 90’s as I write this. The papers are splattered with news about Britney Spears and PrinceWilliam, gone were the days that Britney was not some joke and Prince William was single (yeouchhhhhh!)

Times have changed and we are about to usher in a New Year in less than two weeks and I for one is more than happy to start over. I’m happy because the year that was wasn’t really all that nice to me. There have been so many rejections, tears and heartaches that I’m ready to leave behind. I’m not planning on leaving the lessons behind but the tears, yes. (I think i’m sounding like some cliche).

I’ve lost a lot of things this year and the reason on why I lost the things that I have lost, but I believe that God has a better plan and He allowed those things to happen for a reason. Getting all cliche-y again but it’s true. I’d rather not dwell on has beens and just learn to move on.

***
Two weeks ago, the Pastor at our church mentioned this:

“DON’T PAY REVENGE FOR REVENGE, THE LORD CAN DO A BETTER JOB”

If people judge me based on what other people say about me, then I don’t think that’s really my problem anymore.

***
Despite the bad things that has happened this year, I came to realize that importance of family and I’m blessed to have such wonderful people in my life. NO matter how many times we fight over whether Prison Break is better than 24, at the end of the day, we still have each other.

***
BEFORE THE YEAR ENDS YOU MUST:

*Listen to Mo, Mojo and Andi 9’s radio show, Mondays to Thursdays at 9 am!
-My parents are in love with it!
*Make a child smile this Christmas
-In any way possible
*Watch Step Up, The Good Shepeard, Material Girls and the Disney Marathon on the 24th and 25th
*Get on MYSPACE
– i NEED friends on it … haha:)
* STAY HAPPY:)