We were in our principles of marketing class when rayan passed us this yellow pad filled with doodles. And they weren’t just doodles, there were drawings and the doodles made sense. I stole some of them hahaha…(if its not by rayan, its probably by pepe so go on read.)

“Who I am you will never understand until you understand who you are. You shall always see me through your mask and you shall never appreciate the perfection I see in you”

“If its in that one moment that our story ends, ill cherish that moment and pass it off as perfect” (btw, that’s what i “doodled” hehehe)

“A dream captivates through perfection that appeals to ideal. Hence, we always wake up. We were never meant to be perfect. Just alive.”

Rayan once said that its called “love” not “stupidity”. Well, this entry may sound a bit stupid but what the heck, its my blog. Haha.
I’ve been hurt by that person before. More times than one. Most people say that I deserve more and I know I do.
But then again, most of the time what I say contradicts how I feel. And since I’m so big on being honest, that’s just what I am going to do.
People change and when I say that I don’t mean that people change for the worse. Some people change for the better and I’m willing to give that person the benefit of the doubt, that yes he has changed already and matured. I guess college has a way of doing that to people.
I have learned to let go of the hurt and the pain. Looking back would do me no good. People change, I should know that.
And maybe this time… change can be a good thing.

Last night was Ms. Fashionista Asian’s debut and me and my wonderful batchmates were once again reunited and do you want to know how it felt?
It felt wonderful.
It felt wonderful to be back together. All the corny jokes and antics were revived and brought back together. The people who called me Bianca were all at one place and it felt great.
We all had the same feelings about college. We were all having fun but we missed the jokes we shared. The jokes that only we could understand.
The almost five hours I spent with my high school “posse” made up for all the loneliness I feel in college. I had so much fun. Laughing was as normal as breathing. We cracked over the same things without even a single word.
It was like being back in high school but so much better. My friends all looked wonderful, matured. Haha. Matured. The girls were simply beautiful and the guys so handsome.
I felt like my old self, not that i don’t like my new “improved” self, I do but it doesn’t mean that getting nostalgic once in awile.
Being with them is something I couldn’t explain. All I know is that i’m happy. Really happy that I was with them.
I wish I could explain how im feeling more and how wonderful it was. but I agree with someone who said that sometimes words just get in the way.

Pictures are coming soon. As soon as I transffer them to a cd. 😉

mwah mwah mwah 🙂

Kae and I were hanging out in our latest favorite hang out, the stairs (hehe) when we caught up with Rayan. It was during our Campaign Planning class break and I forgot how we started the conversation but it led to a new philospohy. Rayan said that why do people often ask “why?” when they should be asking “why not?”
Rayan’s optimisim is very contagious. So kae and I have a new thing now, instead of asking “why?” we are now asking “why not?”…
Refreshing, don’t you think?

HERE BY ME
3 DOORS DOWN

I hope you’re doing fine out without me
‘Cause I’m not doing so good without you
The things I thought you’d never know about me
Were the things I guess you always understood
So how could I have been so blind for all these years?
Guess I only see the truth through all this fear,
And living without you…
And everything I had in this world
And all that I’ll ever be
It could all fall down around me.
Just as long as I have you,
Right here by me.
I can’t take another day without you
‘Cause baby, I could never make it on my own
I’ve been waiting so long, just to hold you
And be back in your arms where I belong
Sorry I can’t always find the words to say
But everything I’ve ever know gets swept away

Math upsets me. As in really upsets me. I hate it. Its just that I get it. I get what the stupid thing is about and still im not doing okay in that stupid subject.
I’m scared. I’m like super scared already. I’m reviewing for it but everything just goes downhill when the test paper is right infront of me.
I had the midterm earlier and I’m praying that I did well. I’m scared and nervous again. But the Lord’s mercy calms my heart. He would not place me here if I couldn’t do it. I should stop thinking about it. I gave it my best shot anyway.
I’ll try again.
Screw math.

My fishy that’s more maarte than me. Whahaha;)

It’s hard to remember how it felt before
Now I found the love of my life…
Passes things get more comfortable
Everything is going right
And after all the obstacles
It’s good to see you now with someone else
And it’s such a miracle that you and me are still good friends
After all that we’ve been through
I know we’re cool
We used to think it was impossible
Now you call me by my new last name
Memories seem like so long ago
Time always kills the pain
Remember Harbor Boulevard
The dreaming days where the mess was made
Look how all the kids have grown
We have changed but we’re still the same
After all that we’ve been throughI know we’re cool
And I’ll be happy for youIf you can be happy for me
Circles and triangles, and now we’re hangin’ out with your new girlfriend
So far from where we’ve been
I know we’re cool

Cool
Gwen Stefanie

I’ve said it a million times I am often upredictable and moody. Well, I am but one thing I can be sure of: I am always honest and basically what you see is what you get. I guess the thing with me is that I don’t always say what I feel, but when in the mood I know I can be relentless in saying how I feel. I guess it all boils down to that: I can be very very moody. Moody in a sense that I can be laughing one hour and then crying the next. My dad often says that with me, there’s no balance, its either im mad or im not. Some people have tried to define or “disect” my moodiness, but I don’t think they ever could cause I can’t even “disect” it myself.
I’m never in black in white though. For example with my non exsistent love life. I can never make up my mind, which can be a huge problem. I cannot just sit down and say, “This is who I like.” I’ve never made up and mind and no pressure though, because I know I’m not yet ready.
I know I am still a child at heart. I guess that’s where the contradiction starts. Its like there are times when I just want to be taken care of by my friends and family. Responsibilities sometimes scare me. I still love cartoons and daydreaming. I am still stuck in my own fantasy world.
But at the same time.I like the feeling of being “grown up” or matured. I like taking care of the people I love and “philosophical” movies as opposed to the cartoons. I love doing things my way and due to my own stubborness miss out on older people’s advices.
I’m at that point in my life wherein i’m contented with simply being who I am. A far cry of who I used to be. I am no longer bitter or drenched in self pity but I must admit those days come but I get over myself and move on.
I am no longer as superficial as I used to be. I’ve come to realized that looks aren’t everything. Okay, so maybe im not the prettiest of the bunch, I have come to realize that people who think that’s the only thing that’s important is not worth my time.
I am at that point wherein I strive to no longer be annoyed by people that I don’t like. Its either I ignore or understand where there coming from.
I think i’ve also learned the art of moving on. There have been a lot of things in my life that have caused bruises but I have decided to let it go already.
I have resolved to move on. There’s nothing else left to do. I used to be so consumed of what happened before that its pulling me back.
My life is so much better now. . . just cause I have learned to move on.