I have no idea why people bother. Why don’t they just live thier lives and stop talking about other people. Oh and stop degrading them too. If you have nothing nice to say don’t say anything at all. And just for the record, I think its stupid to judge people based on the superficial things. Just because I don’t wear makeup or get dressed for school doesn’t give you the right to think you’re better than me. Stop gossiping about other people, live your life and oh get all the boys you want. I dont care anyway.

I took one step, it may be a baby step. But its a start=)

I cannot believe it:
MY SWEET 16TH YEAR IS ALMOST OVER. I’m never going to be 16 again. I’m old. I’m legal in a year’s time. I’m 17. 17. 17. Whatever happened to my 16th year? Where did the 12 months go? I know I know i’m sounding dramatci (no surprise there) again. It’s like I just woke up and realized that i’m three years shy of being an “adult adult”. Whoa! What a realization. Okay, I know its not that big of a deal, everyone goes through it blah blah blah… I don’t know if im ready. I sure wasn’t ready for my 16th year, 12 months ago.
I wasn’t ready to face another heartbreak. I wasn’t ready to go through the tedious process of choosing my college and I wasn’t ready to find out that sixteen isn’t all roses. To be completley honest, I thoguht my 16th year would be just like Samantha Baker’s. Meet my prince charming and bam! i’m self actualized.
Well, not everything’s that easy. (duuh). I’d like to think I became self-actualized this year without the help of my prince charming (i don’t know where he is. Lost probably). I realized that being self actualized depends on me (uhh, i guess that’s where the “self” part comes in. Haha) I’ve straightened out my priorities and decided to weave my own fairytales.
With all that in mind…Hmmm..maybe 16 wouldn’t be so bad after all. *wink*

enough said.

I’ve got a lot of things to say and yet find no words to describe them. Life is stable. There’s no drama right now, just a lot to do… Im turning 17 in 6 days and yet I feel like a twelve year old.
Life…

Ive realized something over the weekend. How can I move on if I don’t allow myself to?
Going back might be the easiest thing to do right now but i don’t think thats what I need.
If its meant to happen it will.
Just not right now.
I have to grow first.
Yeah thats what i should do.

I am so sorry if I wasn’t able to reply to those of you who texted me Friday and Saturday. Something was wrong with smart and I was disconnected from the world for a full 40 hours. So, there Im super sorry.
****
No thanks to the weather I have been having asthma attacks for the past two nights. Argg.

It is only in this country of ours that the Philippines can get away with something that she obviously did. As if an apology could win over the many Filipinos who heard the tape. As if anyone actually believed that it wasn’t her. What are we? Pre-schoolers?
***
It is only in this country that people go to Makati and protest. People protest in the States but they dont do it in an annoying manner. They actually have tents and all that. Unlike here that they sleep/eat/dance/shout/whatever else they do on the streets and leave their trash after the whole “protest” fever has died down.
****
It is only in this country that actors/actresses coould say whatever they want whenever they want to the government. People elsewhere like EminEm have something against their government, but I never saw them hold a press conference in thier house for it.
****

“You’re a writer Dawson, you get to live life twice. You’re the only one who could do that,” -Joey Potter, Dawson’s Creek

“When you find love, don’t run away from it. Don’t chase it either. Just be patient, it will come. I promise you, it will come,” -Jen Lindley, Dawson’s Creek


I was watching a Dawson’s Creek rerun last Tuesday. I know its so weird for me to relate what’s been going on with my life to a TV show, but I simply couldn’t help it, that’s part of who I am. Anyway, the episode was the series finale and I couldn’t help but feel nostalgic. College is fun and I’ve met new people but still highschool’s different. I feel as if my life’s been too fast paced and I don’t get to just sit down and savor each moment.
Another thing I’ve been thinking about lately is that “significant” side of love. (Blame it on the whole pacey-joey-dawson triangle, ahehehe). I don’t know why though. I thought i’m over the whole infatuation thing. I thought I could just go on with my life without ever having to, you know, admire “people” in that “sense”. It confuses and throws my perfectly planned schedule off the table.
Fear creeps in once again. I’ve been rejected before and I know, despite how much I want to steer away from it, it can happen again. Rejection in one way or another, cripples me.
It stops me from being able to love freely and take love. Most people in the world feel that they don’t deserve love because they feel that they’re not good enough. I am one of those people.
Fear has supported my conviction to wait. With waiting, patience may be annoying but at least it doesn’t HURT.
I believe the Lord has that one person out there for me. So why go through all the trouble? I may have the answer to that. Love feels good. But feeling may not always be enough. I don’t have to run away or chase cause whether I like it or not, its going to come. At the Lord’s perfect time.
Another thought comes to mind. Arvin has asked me a million times before if there is such a thing as destiny, then why are there people alone? I’ve finally got an answer and I don’t care whether its wrong or not.
Maybe its because there are people who choose to live thier lives without ever having to place thier trust in the Lord. You see, that’s a problem because if we don’t place our trust in the Lord then how will we know who He has instore for us? I mean if the pencil doesn’t listen to the one holding it, how would it know what to write? Sooner or later it will be scribbling nonsense things… I guess you get my point.
So, I guess I don’t have to be afraid… But then again, what if I can’t get over this whole fear thing? What happens to me then?

im in my campaign planning class…haha… SMB is in the finals…!! =) game one tom! ill be cheering my heart out …haha=)

oh thanks dawn for lending me your laptop….ahaha…=)