Uncategorized

- admin Leave a comment

365 in a rush: May 28, 2010

Don’t let the face fool you, I had a good day.


I enjoy dressing up but there are days when I wake up and enjoy being in my favorite men’s undershirt, trusty old keds and my favorite rolled up jeans.
Believe it or not, I feel prettiest in that attire.
I also had a haircut today, so i feel lighter 🙂
- admin Leave a comment

365 in a rush: May 26, 2010

GLEE DAY

I thought Glee would make me happy today and it did for a time but there was something missing. I had to go back to my source.

The other things that make us happy, which is Glee for me, is not the real source of our happiness.

And Mr. Schue should sing more, really!
- admin Leave a comment

Lesser Being

I have a shameless addiction and it has nothing to do with Mr. Schue.

It’s called high expectations.

Although i am no longer 16 i still believe the best in people but sometimes you’d have to question yourself, is that a good thing?

I have become so preoccupied with the thinking that people should live up to my expectations all the time that I forget it’s asking too much and no one can really live up to that kind of perfection.

Maybe it’s a way for me to shy away from people and to hide in my shell.

But in reality, it’s a pointless trait to have because sooner or later, people would eventually hurt us, intentionally or not. People would break our hearts and no one is an exception.

Now, don’t go bitter on me yet, this does not mean that we shut every single person out but instead we leave a little more room for their mistakes.

It also does not mean that we use this as an excuse to allow people to abuse or mistreat us, it just means that we should stop beating people up, especially the people that we love whenever they’d offend us with little mistakes.

We’re human beings.

We’re all evolving to become better versions of ourselves and on the way to an improved us, we often leave little scars and nicks on the way.

And it’s okay. It’s okay to leave a little room and to let things go.

It may be an extreme idea but didn’t you realize that God, who sent His son to die for us, doesn’t demand that kind of perfection so who are we to set that kind of expectation?

It is liberating and it’s true that in Him, we are completely freed even from unwise expectations that leave most of our relationships crippled.

It’s time for a change. It’s time to love more and expect less.

- admin Leave a comment

Have You Met Your Doppelganger Lately?


i want to read this entry five years from now. i want to be able to look back and see how much i have grown.

i’ve kept this blog since 2004, a little hypocritical teenager who was so lost all she could do was write down her pent up anger for the entire web to see.

it was a good outlet.

i got my inspiration from Ted Mosby today, who else?

And he said something along the the lines of, “over time, we have become our own doppelgangers, a far cry from who we used to be.”

okay, that wasn’t the exact verbatim (okay, that really makes me feel like a teacher)

looking back to five years ago, i was a 16 going on 17 year old who was about to enter college.

back then i had no idea what i was going to get into and i had no idea that i was going to get my heart broken, i was going to get insulted over some girl’s blog entry, i was going to endure two years in a job i wasn’t prepared for and i was going to trek over the Trinoma overpass crying over my first job.

i also didn’t know that i was going to meet the most difficult man who have ever lived on earth and i didn’t know that he was going to break my heart on the first date alone (okay, probably on the second date).

there were a lot of things i didn’t know, and if i were going to be given a chance to talk to my seventeen year old self, i don’t think i would tell her any of my experiences.

and not because i want to torture myself (or her, i’m getting confused) but because all those experiences led her to the greatest relationship she could ever have and that’s the one she has with her King of Kings.

okay, i’m confusing myself, talking in the third person.

but it makes a lot of sense. if my life five years ago were perfect then i wouldn’t have that day of turnaround when i realized that the things i wanted weren’t nearly as satisfying as my relationship with Him, the one and only.

so now that my memories play through my mind like deleted movie scenes, i secretly feel amazed because God brought me from one point to another, making sure that each teardrop brought significance to my life and my relationship with Him.

i wouldn’t change anything, because i’m at a good place. although i know that five years from now, when i look back to this blog entry, i know, that i’m going to be in an even better place.

and i really don’t know what is ahead for me, but i know they would be nothing but good things because God has nothing but the best and i stand on that with faith.

and God’s best doesn’t mean that there won’t be tears, because there would be, but God’s strength would be enough to overcome and become a conqueror.

i take a deep breath as i end this entry because i know that once i hit send, the new adventures would begin.
- admin Leave a comment

day by day

I am a funny creature and an overthinker and an obsessive compulsive woman who wouldn’t shut up.

But at the same time I have a Big God who loves me and who accepts me no matter what.

And just like most creatures on this planet i have been wounded several times and although I know Jesus has taken it up to the cross, my insane nature keeps me from becoming totally free.

Until today.

I’m still a little iffed about the little mistake that i did today and since i’m very atuned to dragging little messes into big things, i didn’t even get to enjoy Glee.

But day by day. I’m taking it a day at a time.