Life isn’t really being nice to me at this moment. There are a lot of little things that have been piling up and I swear its driving me crazy and testing my faith. To begin with, I lost the elections. The individualist that I am doesn’t really care and just credit whatever happened to my life’s many experiences. However, I have only been an individualist for the past five years and I’ve been HUMAN for almost 18 years. What I’m trying to say here is that I still have my human emotions and although I hate to admit it, not being liked still pushed the wrong buttons a bit. It just really made me sad and upset but I realized that doing so would not really get me anywhere? Being bitter and mad would just validate whatever rumors people may have spread about me. I really don’t know where this entry is going because for once, I’m allowing myself to just write, write and write. I am upset and hurt. Somehow, losing made me realize that people don’t like me. HOWEVER, my family and REAL friends got me out of the drama queen mode and made me realize the reality of life.

Reality is, life isn’t perfect. Neither is it fair or kind. In fact its HARSH. Bad things happen to good people. No matter how nice one person is, people are going to hate you and say nasty things about you. Even if you be REAL to people and treat them the way you want to be treated, doesn’t mean that they’ll treat you in the same way. In fact, most of the time, just because you’re nice, they think that gives them the right to walk all over you. Yes, its true: LIFE SUCKS. Life hurts, life kills, life is going to keep throwing you curveballs and the only thing you can do is STAND UP AND FIGHT. Show people that even if you’re defeated you can still stand up and tell people that you’re okay. Scratch tell, instead you should SHOW people that you’re okay.

Looking back, I guess I’m more thankful for the times that I got hurt or got disappointed. Doesn’t mean that I don’t want the happy times, in fact, I do. Its just that during those time when everything’s so messed up, that’s when one starts over. That’s when one starts to go back from the beginning and reevaluate one’s life and one’s relationship with the Lord. Sometimes, its so easy to just lose faith and get mad. Its harder to accept things as they are and its harder to be nice to those who have done you wrong. That’s the reason why people hardly take that path. With the Lord’s help, I hope I could be strong enough to take that path. I’m hurting now and the circumstances didn’t really turn around after this entry, but I feel better because I know that at the end of the day, the Lord knows what He’s doing and there’s something better out there for me. All I have to do is pray for those people who continue to bring me down and pray that I surpass them. I’ll pray that I conquer evil by doing good.

Okay, my sermon’s over. HAHA. Ain’t it good to let it all out? Hahaha. Tomorrow’s a new week, then a new month. I know everything will fall into place soon. And then my entries would definitely be better.

I was having dinner at a family friend’s house last night and a tita of mine stated the fact why coffee is bad for you:

a) it causes premature wrinkles (uhoh)
b)it causes pimples to dry up longer
c) and its a depressant.

Whoa. Maybe, that’s the reason why i am such a dramaqueen. I CANNOT FOR THE LIFE OF ME STOP DRINKING COFFEE, ESPECIALLY IF ITS STARBUCKS.

But i’m challenging myself . I should try not drinking four cups a day. I should try tea. Ha. Somthing new. It may actually help me change my persepective.

I’m missing coffee already.

I’m not sure if i’ve mentioned it before but im actually running for PRO. I should have killed myself earlier. You see, popularity games such as the student council is the one thing that i’ve been against since I was in 5th grade. Ookay, okay, I was involved in classroom student councils but that was it. I mean hello, people don’t like those positions anyway.

So, that being said. What I was doing yesterday infront of the ENTIRE student body dishing out a speech that was probably putting people to sleep?

I DON’T KNOW.

You see, the whole running for student council thing looked so good at the beginning, like during the initial stage. Like the planning and the posters and all that. I SO thought I had brooke davis’ guts. BUT I guess, lucas scott isn’t the only thing missing in my life. Haha.

I watned to concede right there and then but that would mean QUITTING. And that is one thing that I hate most, next to failure.

I should know by now that failure isn’t really a bad thing.

BUT I wish people would just play FAIR.

I don’t think fair is bitchin’ out the party during your speech.

Most of you are probably thnking, “Wtf? you’re in college!”

MY ANSWER:
” I know right!”

I swear there were like two girls from the other party who kept on bitchin instead of saying what changes they wanted to see and what made them qualified to run the so called race.

They just complained about how long our speeches were and were giving us the evil eye the entire time. If I weren’t mature enough I would’ve smacked them right in the head (oh, you don’t know how I wished to do that)

Now, I just don’t care at all. And im not just saying that, I mean it. It doesn’t matter if I win or lose. I’m just happy that the stupid popularity game hasn’t sucked me into something that I’m not. I’m grateful that yesterday’s situation reminded me of who I am and what I want. I don’t care if people don’t see me as “cool” or if guys don’t think i’m “hot” (I don’t have to flirt with every guy on the block to gain some sort of validation).

Politics are SO dirty, even for a school as small as ours. Its absolutely crazy if people get TOO PERSONAL. Get a life.

Mr. Accounting is my new boyfriend.
It took me an entire weekend to answer two problems. It took me a whole day just to balance two accounts. How dumb is that? Math is not my strongest subject, but at least I got it down right. It would’ve been more frustrating if I didn’t get it right after I spent all that time on it. THANKFULLY, I understand it already. GIve me that accounting homework and I can do it.:-)

I guess, spending that much time on accounting is actually a good thing. The whole not entering the semis thing is still kindda depressing… *sigh*.

or maybe its pms again:-)

Ginebra lost:-(
now, there’s no basketball for almost four months.
oh…what would life be like? FOUR MONTHS?
so much for a happy basketballriffic 18th birthday:-(
ohwell…

This entry is meant for Sunday, Father’s Day. Only, I don’t think I’ll be able to blog before then so i’m writing it down now.

HAPPY FATHER’S DAY!!

No matter how many times I tell my dad that, “I’m seventeen now *fill in the reason why I can’t hang out with him as much*” deep down I still enjoy hanging out with him. My dad gets me without me having to explain anything to him. Of course, we argue often especially when it comes to me “hanging out” with other guys (my dad is still dead serious on me not dating until i graduate in september 07) and my tv marathons. But that’s as far as our daddy arguments can go. At the end of the day, I realize that my dad is my soulmate. I love him to death and I know that all the precautions against those “boys” has its purpose and I am in no position to argue. He’s only looking out for me and I’m glad that he does. I’m so blessed to have a dad like him.

HAPPY FATHER’S DAY AGAIN MY DADDDYYYY!! I AM SO PROUD OF YOU. I LOVEEEE YYOUUUU!!1