Ive realized something over the weekend. How can I move on if I don’t allow myself to?
Going back might be the easiest thing to do right now but i don’t think thats what I need.
If its meant to happen it will.
Just not right now.
I have to grow first.
Yeah thats what i should do.

I am so sorry if I wasn’t able to reply to those of you who texted me Friday and Saturday. Something was wrong with smart and I was disconnected from the world for a full 40 hours. So, there Im super sorry.
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No thanks to the weather I have been having asthma attacks for the past two nights. Argg.

It is only in this country of ours that the Philippines can get away with something that she obviously did. As if an apology could win over the many Filipinos who heard the tape. As if anyone actually believed that it wasn’t her. What are we? Pre-schoolers?
***
It is only in this country that people go to Makati and protest. People protest in the States but they dont do it in an annoying manner. They actually have tents and all that. Unlike here that they sleep/eat/dance/shout/whatever else they do on the streets and leave their trash after the whole “protest” fever has died down.
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It is only in this country that actors/actresses coould say whatever they want whenever they want to the government. People elsewhere like EminEm have something against their government, but I never saw them hold a press conference in thier house for it.
****

“You’re a writer Dawson, you get to live life twice. You’re the only one who could do that,” -Joey Potter, Dawson’s Creek

“When you find love, don’t run away from it. Don’t chase it either. Just be patient, it will come. I promise you, it will come,” -Jen Lindley, Dawson’s Creek


I was watching a Dawson’s Creek rerun last Tuesday. I know its so weird for me to relate what’s been going on with my life to a TV show, but I simply couldn’t help it, that’s part of who I am. Anyway, the episode was the series finale and I couldn’t help but feel nostalgic. College is fun and I’ve met new people but still highschool’s different. I feel as if my life’s been too fast paced and I don’t get to just sit down and savor each moment.
Another thing I’ve been thinking about lately is that “significant” side of love. (Blame it on the whole pacey-joey-dawson triangle, ahehehe). I don’t know why though. I thought i’m over the whole infatuation thing. I thought I could just go on with my life without ever having to, you know, admire “people” in that “sense”. It confuses and throws my perfectly planned schedule off the table.
Fear creeps in once again. I’ve been rejected before and I know, despite how much I want to steer away from it, it can happen again. Rejection in one way or another, cripples me.
It stops me from being able to love freely and take love. Most people in the world feel that they don’t deserve love because they feel that they’re not good enough. I am one of those people.
Fear has supported my conviction to wait. With waiting, patience may be annoying but at least it doesn’t HURT.
I believe the Lord has that one person out there for me. So why go through all the trouble? I may have the answer to that. Love feels good. But feeling may not always be enough. I don’t have to run away or chase cause whether I like it or not, its going to come. At the Lord’s perfect time.
Another thought comes to mind. Arvin has asked me a million times before if there is such a thing as destiny, then why are there people alone? I’ve finally got an answer and I don’t care whether its wrong or not.
Maybe its because there are people who choose to live thier lives without ever having to place thier trust in the Lord. You see, that’s a problem because if we don’t place our trust in the Lord then how will we know who He has instore for us? I mean if the pencil doesn’t listen to the one holding it, how would it know what to write? Sooner or later it will be scribbling nonsense things… I guess you get my point.
So, I guess I don’t have to be afraid… But then again, what if I can’t get over this whole fear thing? What happens to me then?

im in my campaign planning class…haha… SMB is in the finals…!! =) game one tom! ill be cheering my heart out …haha=)

oh thanks dawn for lending me your laptop….ahaha…=)

SMB is in the finals! Yeeheeeyyy!=))

is it possible for me to like someone who’s the exact opposite of who I had in mind?

I got this from my college’s magazine and of course when it comes to this, I always have something to say. Haha. *wink* (By the way its by Graziel Hidalgo)
1. UNFAITHFUL
SHE SAYS:
Believe it or not, guys are born like this. Oftentimes, boys are not satisfied or contented with just one girl. The basic problem with cheaters is that they’re hard to spot. And they don’t all start out that way.. CHEATING, that is. As the saying goes, ‘Once a cheater, always a CHEATER’ —

I SAY:
Duh. Its pretty obivous isn’t it? Some people would say that there’s that one woman out there who could change the “playboy”. Whatever, I haven’t seen it work before.

2. IMMATURE
SHE SAYS:
we all know that girls tend to be more matured than boys. They’re not TACTFUL.

I SAY:
Okay, to be super honest, I sometimes find it cute when guys are immature. Its okay to be with someone who’s not serious all the time. But yeah, there are times wherein it could be tad annoying, but at times it ain’t so bad. Hihihi.

3. INSENSITIVE
SHE SAYS:
guys tend to forget what girls really feel if they have done something wrong. They only think about what they really feeland that’s it!

I SAY:
I don’t think i’ve met a guy who isn’t insensitive. Haha. I guess they grow out of it. Well, some of them do and unfortunatley MOST of them don’t. BOO-HOO

4. SWEET-TALKER

SHE SAYS:
“bolero” is the term.

I SAY:
Ha! If a guy could say the sweetest thing without stammering, move on. He’s probably said that to a million girls already. Haha

5. PERVERT

Do I even have to expound on this? Ewww.

6. POSESSIVE
SHE SAYS:
guys who are possessive don’t trust girls. He will tell you what to wear, he may also choose your friends because he thinks the people you hangout with are losers. When you’re not with him, he constantly call to check where you are, whom you’re with., and what you’re doing. And it gets on our nerves when done excessively.

I SAY:
Someone who’s ultra possessive is annoying and freaky. But someone who is just slightly possesive is sweet. Enough Said.

7. IMPATIENT
SHE SAYS:
guys cant stand to wait. If it took you quite long in the toilet they will tell you, you’re so vain, even though the only reason for that is you only want to look good for him. Guy’s dont appreciate that.

I SAY:
I’m always on time wherever I go so that’s not a problem for me. But with the whole bathroom thing…hmmm…. *wink*

8. IRRESPONSIBLE
SHE SAYS:
there isn’t much to be said for this guy, because, well, he really doesn’t do much. He maybe geniunely nice guy; he may even be extremely intelligient or talented. The problem is, he has no drive. No ambition. And if you stick with him, you’ll be on a long road to nowhere.

I SAY:
Well said!! I cant say anything else.

9. ARROGANT
I SAY:
There’s this guy I know and I tell you he’s a major looker. But please don’t let him talk! Cause when he does… Nevermind. Lets just say the word “you” or “us” isn’t in his dictonary. Its always I, Me and myself. How perfect he is and so on. Argg, its so annoying.

10. FULL OF VICES
I SAY:
There’s nothing wrong with partying once and awhile and I really can’t rant about the smokers and all since I have friends who are smokers/drinkers. But come on, if you constantly smell like smoke, I don’t think that’s such a good thing.
Besides I would like my guy to live long. Since we’ll be spending the rest of our lives together. I want it to be a long life together.

That’s so mushy. I cannot believe I just said that.

The guy I was telling you about earlier? he keeps on saying “i love you” now. I think he’s said it more than three times already. Its so damn annoying. Eekkkk.

Its no mystery that my stupid computer has been infested once again by a pesky virus that just wouldn’t go away so I’m force to use the internet cafe in our village. Well, a lot of things could happen when your inside an internet cafe.
– For one thing, a guy who’s seated beside you could repeatedly say the words, “awww,come on” and laugh. Talking to no one in particular. If thats not freaky, i don’t know what is.
– Another one happened today. The guy beside me is obviously talking to someone on his phone, obviously his girlfriend. They are in a middle of a fight, I can tell. And I bet the girl doesn’t want to believe he’s in a interet cafe. Wanna know how I figured that out? Well, he turned on the volume of his headset and place his phone infront of it. Its annoying. Why couldn’t that girl just believe him. Duh.
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Game four today. GO SMB!!!!=))