–when you’re in high school, you want to be everybody’s friend and believe it or not, that carries on to adulthood when you’re earning a paycheck and living responsibly. But this year, i’ve come to realize that having a handful is so much better as to having a room full of snotty two faced bizzes.

3) Just because someone says something negative about you, that doesn’t make it true.

— yes, even if it was someone you love dearly. someone saying “you’re stupid” or any other deragatory remarks does not make you what deragatory remark they have said. you’re so much more than that, so stop believing that lie.

4) Humility is always cool.

— pride gets in the way of so many things and this is related to the nugget above, it really wouldn’t help to try and defend yourself all the freakin time. God’s in control. Let it go. It’s not easy but God does wonders.

5) It’s possible that you’ve met the man of your dreams, only he has to take a detour and meet with you again.

— i’d rather not comment on this and why i included it on the list, but yeah, watch How I Met Your Mother and you’d get it <3

6) Chocolates, dancing and singing off-key are still the answer to everything.

— and i do mean EVERYTHING!

7) If you’re not happy with your job, quit whining and do something about it.

— New Year’s Resolution 2010!

8) The boyfriend look is the coolest thing on the planet.

— Goodbye skimpy clothes! This is the fashion revolution.

9) My Security is in Christ.

— and nothing else, ever mattered again!

Cheers to a wonderful 2010 filled with laughter, hugs and memories!

ARE YOU READY? CAUSE I AM!

It’s the second to the last day fo the year.

And I’m spending it doing things that I love: grocery shopping, reading a new chick-lit book (thank you Laure Weisberger for your witty comebacks and hope that good-looking boys can truly be good as well) and watching How I Met Your Mother Season Five.

And while I gloat over Ted Mosby once again, I can’t help but feel optimistic over the new year that’s about to come.

No traditions this year and this year i’d like to make do with this uneasiness that I always feel whenever the year comes in.

I want to ring in 2010 with a smile on my face, laughter on my heart and peace in knowing that no matter what year it is, God is in the center of everything.

2009 was an amazing year where I met friends, lost fake ones, fell in and out of like, battled with several emotions, dealt with things maturely and immaturely and basically enjoyed life the way a person should. One who wasn’t afraid to feel things and relish in those moments.

I think that was the biggest thing I was able to give myself this year: the ability to be able to feel things whether good or bad, enjoy it and step away from it.

So here’s to a new year filled with laughter, blessings and love, love, love. God is in control!

I’ve said it before “be grateful for the moments when it was yours”

So whenever I think of you, I’d simply look back and smile, knowing that if God can bring me someone like you, then what is it that He cannot do?

That’s what the football symbolizes.

it has been said before that a terrible situation becomes useless when you don’t make use of it to make someone’s life better.

that’s the reason why i’m writing this entry on the night after Christmas, writing it while my eyes are swollen and my heart is burned out just so I could reach out to those who may be feeling the same thing and thinking the way I did earlier, that they are alone.

which they never truly are.

this blog entry is for those of you who have been called incompetent by a parent or anyone in authority. this entry is for those of you who are still hurting because someone in position once told you that you weren’t good enough.

well, let me tell you this right now, you are good enough.

you are beautiful. you are loved. you are not fat. you are not stupid and you will go somewhere in life.

this is for you whose heart is breaking because someone betrayed you and you think that it’s your fault.

it’s not.

and stop believing the lie that tells you that you’re the reason why you were betrayed.

because you’re not smart enough, you’re not pretty enough, you’re not rich enough. just stop believing the lie that you are not enough, because in Christ, you are more than enough.

being the perfectionist that i am, i find the need to control every single situation known to mankind. i don’t like it when things happen and i have no control over it.

so imagine how difficult it was for me to accept the fact that I didn’t have to do anything for Christ, instead all I had to do was accept it.

I’ve been a Christian since I was a baby. I was raised in church, in scripture and heck, I even went to a Christian high school. yet this concept to me is unfathomable.

i don’t know who to blame as to why my perceptive is like this, like i actually have to struggle before I get something beautiful.

i understand the depth of the christian faith and it does not involve simple formulas and not every christian goes through the exact identical thing but I will not dwell on that tonight.

instead, i’ll focus on what has been real for me and how it has affected me and by doing this, i hope i can touch someone’s life or brighten someone’s dark day.

i’m a doer. i like getting things done and i get frustrated when i don’t. in order to look good, i must starve and workout times two. in order for a relationship to work, it must hurt a little bit (i’m talking about sacrifices here!) and in order for someone to truly love you, you must be perfect, no added weight, never say the wrong things and you must be perfect all the time.

i must admit i have this crazy obsession with perfection and i do hope in the deepest core of my being, that you don’t struggle with the same problem.

oh how i love people who are carefree! people who could go on with thier lives, accept themselves for who they are and just enjoy living.

i must admit, i’m not one of those people. my mind is constantly churning and i’m constantly searching for something to do.

i can’t be idle, i must be working so i could justify everything in my life.

and because of this, i became resentful, way too ambitious for my own good and just plain prideful (is that even a word?)

i cut off some pretty cool people in my life because in my wildest dreams, i never thought i’d deserve them. i’d run off in self pity and wallow in misery because i knew that no matter how hard i worked, i would never measure up.

that’s the kind of intense person that i am.

which may be the reason why i’m always lonely, even if i’m surrounded by people who love me and people who care.

i always must be working for something because if they’re just given to me, then they’ll disappear one of these days because who am i to deserve anything important, real or anything remotely related to being loved?

i don’t deserve it. i wouldn’t deserve it till i get my Ph.D, lose fifty lbs and become more loving or fix up my sometimes haughty attitude.

but today’s events, which i’d rather not specify on made me realize that Christ, despite all of my shortcomings, died on the cross and made me realize that “yes carla, you are not perfect but you need to stop trying to be perfect. i love you!”

and you know, even after hours and days of listening to Pastor Mark, Nic, Denise and a few weathered mentors, i still don’t get it.

why? why? why?

what do you mean i don’t have to do anything? seriously?! i deserve all this?

and this wonderful love that should be spoken about more often so there are less lonely people in the world, was given to me, at no cost! without lifting a finger.

despite the struggle in my heart and the pieces i need to pick up, i’m overwhelmed and half-ashamed.

imagine, relying so much on my looks, my education, my job, my parents, my friends and boys to get this love that has already been offered to me years and years ago!

it’s still an entirely new concept for me and there are so many things i need to learn.

but wow, this amazing love, if i understood years ago it would have saved me broken friendships and broken realities.

you see, people we meet on earth are going to disappoint us. they will crush our spirits and they will ruin us whether intentional or not. even the people we love and trust the most are going to kill our spirits at one point and yes it will hurt, but it only reminds us of one thing, there’s only one supernatural GOD who would never leave us, who would never disappoint us and who would never hurt us.

it’s time for us to breakaway from the belief that we will be less of a person if this guy (or girl) didn’t love us back, if our parents didn’t appreciate the hard work and if we don’t get the promotion at work.

yes, it breaks our spirits , but it’s the best time for us to get in touch with God and realize that in HIS BEAUTIFUL AND PERFECT TIME, IT WILL ALL MAKE SENSE.

That despite all the ugliness that engulfs our lives, we are never truly alone and that in order for life to be meaningful we must and i say this with extra emphasis, we must lean only on Him.

All the material things, the people we fall in and out of love with, they are merely
instruments or reminders of how much our God loves us, but they are never the true meaning of Christ.

I got so caught up in the world that i forgot all about God’s serenity, peace and joy. That the entire world is nothing without Him and yes, I could stand to lose everything, but in Christ, we have overcome.

so we go back to the purpose of this entry, to all of you lonely hearts out there, YOU ARE NOT ALONE. You never were.

Just like me, we just placed our trust and hope into the things that weren’t meant to be our fortress to begin with. It’s a mistake everyone walking the earth makes.

and even though i have managed to type this entry and accepted the fact that the Lord knows what He is doing, it is still a difficult concept to analyze, which is why i surrender.

i’ll give my overthinking brain a rest and believe that tomorrow morning would be different, that the last week of 2009 would be filled with longing for Him and only Him.

And i know My God’s grace is sufficient for He is the only truth I know.

I couldn’t ask for anything more! I’ve got them all with me at this moment 🙂

I’m thinking of you KC 🙂

Just finished reading if you could see me now and among all the things I picked up from that book this is the best:

“but then I realized as everyday went by and I thought about her every second ad smiled that meeting her, knowing her and above all was the biggest silver lining of all”

🙂

A friend of mine lost a special someone a week ago and for some totally undetermined reason I thought of you.

I thought of you and realized that life is too short to spend it clouded in fear, regrets and caught up in our past mistakes and past experiences, no matter how traumatic they were.

It’s also too short to spend constantly trying to figure out where you’d fit into my life five years from now and how unfit we are for each other.

Life is also too short to spend worrying about having our feelings returned. I have been selfish in this area because I’ve always thought that in order for feelings to count or mean anything they have to be reciprocated.

But maybe it’s not the way things are supposed to go but I guess you just have to savor each moment and learn what you could. Easier said than done but I want to be unselfish for once in my life.

And maybe that’s the purpose you serve in my life, just like the character from the book.

I’m thinking of you, just so you know.

… So if the other blog didn’t make sense or had grammatical errors sorry 🙂