What’s on the surface hides what one truly feels. The face can hide the emotions, but the eyes can show the real depth. People can never pierce through what’s real and what’s faked. The little girl hides it well. Her laughter, if you listen closely echoes the hollowness of what she feels. Her smile is tweaked because it isn’t complete…
at least it isn’t yet.
Don’t be fooled by what you see, she ain’t as perfect as you assume her to be.

I crave for simplicity, diversity and realness.
I long to get out of this sugar coated world,
and not do what is expected of me.

I want to dance,shout and be free,
just sing and say what I feel.

I am real,
I just crave for freedom.

Freedom to be who I am and not be afraid.

I close my eyes but still unafraid,
because I know when I open them your still there.
But this moment could not last for long,
I dare not think of the minutes
when you wouldn’t be here anymore.
I just think of this moment,
this perfect moment with you.
The sun, the water,
your arms around me,
this simply conspires with our DESTINY.
I dare not think of what tommorow brings,
because I know we would once again,
be miles apart.
I smell your scent and open my eyes,
your warm smile greets me
and i fall deeper..

Bliss,

this is what it is.

( a month too late…but still)

To Chi, “ahead” rubber shoes especially made for you, cheat sheets for your college entrance tests, six friendship bracelets for our six year friendship and a drama queen crown to match mine=)

Abbie, I leave mang jeff’s blue bus,a radio tuned to 89.1 and a journal that would soon be filled with your wonderful and optimistic thoughts.

To Arvin, my dear, my fiance (yeah right.hehe), a president’s medal of valor, a huge trophy for being a good debater and a better friend. A tree that would never ever be moved (hehe) and my awe forever.=) you are my superman=)

Marc, Christmas’03 text message, my 15th birthday cake and a friendship out of nowhere.

To Cokie, a box of chocolait and a letter that would recount the “infamous” chocolait story and a loyalty award.

Candice, I give you your own phone line, a scrapbook of our favorite boybands (those were the days) and orange’s first album.=)

To Mia, wings to go with your angelic voice, a new guitar and another envelope, this time filled with not just my love story but the story of our beautiful friendship=)

Zena, a thousand nicknames, a huge garfield stuff toy, your cellphone otherwise known as my baby, “HTML”, videos of our short lived 3rd year REPLICA days (kalokohan yan), your own computer shop, my internet cards, portraits of sir bong and ben, difficult math problems that you could answer in an instant, UA&P tests, interviews and “seminar”, MEG november’03 issue and my friendship forever..=)

To Thea, my amazement cause you are such a great person, white oleander, another FCUK t-shirt (this time in red, i love the yellow one!), chuck taylors shopping spree (my chuckmate forever) and individuality that you never seem to run out of.=)

Miguel, “one voice”, an inbox full of messages, “advices”, handcuffs from foundation day ’03. Regrets over a friendship lost.

To Jen, my maaaaammm!!=), my daduch’s heart, heart wreching love stories, your own bathroom stall where we could bawl and cry our hearts out anytime, a gift certificate from national bookstore and goodwill. one year supply of internet cards.=)

Miko, my mamuch’s heart, a pair of new goggles.=)

To Paolo, my brother out of nowhere, “boom-boom!”, a number 15 ATENEO jersey! ONE BIG FIGHT! and that sweatshirt that’s just like Lucas’.=)

Kara, a room full of books, journals and pens. Recordings of our many conversations and a huge thanks for our real friendship.

Lily!!!, Japoy’s C5 billboard, the “nilja” nickname, papa alec secrets, the key to papa A’s office (yuck!!), bus tickets to manila from baguio and viceversa, more corny jokes and my deepest gratitude for accepting me and my many quirks.

My twin, stiff competition, starstruck one days and a better friendship.

To Marti, an award for your exceptional point of view and taste in music. Batteries for your MP3.

Lance, “psst…may ballpen ka?”, stamps and envelopes so you could send me your caricatures, a girlfriend you truly deserve (just so you could stop sulking and start cracking more jokes to cheer me up.)

Shamie, my “summer sister”, field trips, a friendship gone awry.

Janine, exciting new days in college and a new playlist on your MP3.

Gerald, southborder cds,nova,a week’s worth of walks home, an umbrella, DVDs, “what men live by” and more blings to be ala duncan.hehe.=)

Asian, a spot on fashion TV, my beshi’s heart

To Beshi-Bop, singkil bonding moments,another sun cellular sim and polvoron=)

Lala, more inspirational text messages, my awe and thanks for being my one woman pep squad!=)

and lastly…

To Carlo,
a burnt cd containing “if your not the one”, “kung ako na lang sana”, “forevermore”, “tattoed on my mind”, “burnout” (and baduy natin.), “moses prince of egypt” reruns, my first real infatuation, fragements of my broken heart, regrets and the sincere wish that goes with my genuine friendship that you would find someone who would be upfront with her feelings, won’t complicate things and allow you to move on…
To simplify…someone who isn’t me…=)

I feel guilty with my previous entry (not the ryan merriman one,he is AMAZING,don’t you think?). but I have the right to say what I feel right? whatchathink?

Biography for Ryan Merriman
Birth name
Ryan Earl Merriman
Nickname
Ry Guy Hollywood
Height
6′ 1″ (1.85 m)
Mini biography
At twenty-one, actor Ryan Merriman has already developed an extensive list of film and television credits which have enabled him to work with some of Hollywood’s most respected actors. Now with fifteen films and three television series to his credit Ryan is well recognized in the industry. Merriman began his career doing commercials, print work, vocal performances, and local theater in Oklahoma.Ryan also starred in several television films including Lifetime’s “Dangerous Child,” “Rocket’s Red Glare,” “Luck of the Irish,” “Smart House,” “Ring of Endless Light,” Hallmark’s “Night Ride Home,” “Lansky,” “Everything That Rises” and the upcoming “Taken” on the Sci-Fi Channel produced by Steven Spielberg. In addition Ryan has starred in three feature films. “Deep End of the Ocean” with Michelle Pfeiffer, “Halloween: The Homecoming” and “Just Looking,” that was directed by Jason Alexander.Ryan also starred in the ABC series “Veritas” and the recurring role of “Young Jarod” on the NBC hit series “The Pretender,” which ran for four successful seasons on NBC. He was also a series regular on the NBC television sitcom, “The Mommies.”Merriman’s talent has already been recognized by two very prestigious organizations that award the talent of young performers. He has received eight nominations for a Young Artist Award of Hollywood and been a winner six times. In addition Ryan has been nominated five times for a Hollywood Reporter YoungStar Award.Ryan recently finished filming “The Ring 2” for Dreamworks. He is in post production on a Hallmark movie titled “The Colt” that is expected to premiere this year on The Hallmark Channel. Ryan also completed filming “Spin” in Tucson, Arizona. This Independent feature film was directed by Jamie Redford and will open in limited markets on October 8th.In his free time Merriman enjoys being home with his family and friends, boating, wakeboarding, camping and riding his Harley. Merriman is also involved with Eagle Mount, an organization that offers riding, skiing, camp programs and other special activities for disabled children in Bozeman, Montana and the Oklahoma City Infant Crisis Center.When not on location, Merriman is still proud to call Oklahoma home.
IMDb mini-biography by
Bob Jamieson
Spouse
Micol
(25 June 2004 – present)
Trivia
After working on What’s Right with America (1997) (TV) together, Ryan and Kyle Gibson are good friends.
Hobbies: In-Line Skating, Four Wheel and Dirt Bikes, Team Sports, All Water Sports, Horseback Riding, English Accents, American Regional Accents, Martial Arts, Paint Ball (Tournament Level), Skiing and Snowboarding.
Ryan actively supports the Neonatal Parents Network of Oklahoma, an independent, non-profit support network for families with critically ill or premature infants. Merriman is also involved with Eagle Mount, an organization that offers riding, skiing, camp programs and other special activities for disabled children in Bozeman, Montana.
Has 3 dogs

Finally!!! I have been gone for awhile, a shoutout to jen,zena and mia oh and lala for always always dropping by. Hehe. Touched ako ha. hehe. Mwah. I love you.=)
****
I saw the movie adaptation of “five people you meet in heaven”. It was so nice, allow me to say that it was better than the book. hehe. i loved it!=) I really don’t have to tell you that I was crying buckets at the end. So so nice.
****
Ryan Merriman is everywhere! Aahhhh!!!!=) Soo soo happy…=)

=)
***

Last Sunday its been four months since KC passed but it still feels like yesterday. Sometimes, I forget that she’s gone then I remember and I stop for awhile. She’s gone. Last Friday, I was again going through a major decluttering sesh when I stumbled upon our old class pictures and autograph books (do you remember those, those were so cool.hehe. but I guess you have friendster now.) In those cheesy dedication pages she’d always tell me to enjoy life cause its too short for anything. So true.
Damn, i just miss you so much kace. You and your million books, insightful thoughts and dried grape diets. I really really miss you and i wish you were still here.
Somedays, I miss you more. This is one of those days….
My dear angel, why have you gone so soon?

***
ONE SWEET DAY
Sorry i never told you
All i wanted to say
And now it’s too late to hold you’cause you’ve flown away
So far away
Never had i imagined
Living without your smile
Feeling and knowing you hear me keeps me alive
Alive
Chorus:
And i know you’re shining down on me from heaven
Like so many friends we’ve lost along the way
And i know eventually we’ll be together
One sweet day
Eventually we’ll sing in heaven
Darling i never showed you
Assumed you’d always be there
And i took your presence for granted
But i always cared
And i miss the love we shared

Chorus

Although the sun will never shine the sameI’ll always look to a brighter day
Lord i know when i lay me down to sleep
You will always listen as i pray

Chorus
Chorus


Sorry i never told youAll i wanted to say

i miss you much guys.i thought we were all going out? hmmpp….
guys read my blog naman..okay okay promise things wouldn’t be that depressing anymore…hehe…
my entries aren’t depressing naman ah…they’re just really really amusing and analytic.. arvin, do you agree? jen, how’s dumagete? to everyone else: where are you guys going this summer?


i promise lighter entries. promise.. hehe…

i miss you all…=)

oh another analytic observation:

queer eye for the straight girl is just as fun as queer eye for the straight guy.
sabi ko sainyo analytic…hehehe..
=)