Would you believe that I’m hitting the big 1-8 in less than five hours? I should feel oh so grown up already. I’m legal in less than five hours and yet I don’t feel 18ish AT ALL. I feel more like 13 rather than 18. In some aspects of my life, I’m totally grown up. I mean its scary that I know what I SHOULD be doing a year from now and I KNOW what I should be doing and what I should NOT be spending time on. THE BORING side of life I think I pretty much got it covered. The FUN side, now that’s something I need to work on. My idea of fun so far consists of barney, tv shows (new favorite, GREY’S ANATOMY) and lotsa books, blogging and basketball. Other than that, I think i’m stuck in toddler world. BUT that’s okay, since I’m finally confident with who I am and all that self actualization crap and besides, I’m already smart mouthed enough, its enough to piss people off.

***
So, how did I spend the weekend before my big 1-8?

WASTED…

and dehaydrated and SICK.
No, I didn’t go drinking (was supposed to go with my sister, damn virus!) instead I was stuck at home because of the flu that has been going around since last week.

I was getting chills all of Friday and Saturday night. Getting sick isn’t funny. Especially when your parents think that the reason you’re sick is because you’re anorexic. Told you it isn’t funny because they force you to eat the entire weekend which I think adds more to my being sick than helping me recover.

For the first time in my college career, I was absent. That got me really depressed. BOO!
***
NO expectations for my 18th. I’m just happy to be alive and not anorexic. Haha.:-)
I’M ALVIE. TO more birthdays. CHEERS!

Its sucha cliché, I know. Just today, I read two articles on the very same topic but that doesn’t stop me from writing down my own version of the topic. To begin with, the movie was cute. Batman Begins and Spiderman still top my superhero movie list, but Superman makes one amazed simply because he can stop anything and do anything he wants. Not to mention, that there is now a superboy existing and Lois Lane, no matter what she does is in love with the man of steel. If that isn’t worth gushing over then I don’t know what is.

We need superman simply because the idea of him just makes everything else more bearable. As if it gives us that sort of hope, that when things turn dire, there would be someone to save us from it. That if run out of options, there would be that majestic hero to sweep us of our feet and rescue us, making everything okay.
HOWEVER, if you have seen the movie, you would realize that Superman isn’t as super as we all would like to think. Kryptonite isn’t his only weakness, there’s also Lois Lane, SuperBoy and his biological father. He was hurt by Lois Lane moving on and was hurt when he couldn’t contact his father anymore. NO matter how powerful superman is, even his super powers that everyone wishes to have couldn’t protect him from normal human emotions that we all humans feel.

We need superman to save us from wars, accidents and other things that could harm us physically. But I guess, what we never realized is this: Superman could never save us from the emotional hurt that we all go through every once in awhile. Physical pain, we can easily get over it but the emotional ones, the only person who can save us from all the emotional pain is ourselves and no one else. Even superman himself couldn’t save himself from all the emotional crap he was going through.

So, I guess we do need superman these days since violence is spurting everywhere and the world has indeed been cruel, but we must remember that we ourselves our superheroes in our own right. We all have things to deal with and we get through them a little bruised and hurt but nonetheless OKAY. That is super enough for me. Surviving each hurt and moving on is something that we do ourselves. So the next time that you feel the need to call on Superman because you’re caught in a jiffy, take a deep breath, pray for God’s strength, remember the other jiffies you’ve been through and you’ll realize that with or without Superman, each problem would be solved.

Unless of course you’re falling from a building- now that’s a totally different story.

I must be really old fashioned or totally out of date, but excuse me from saying this:
“I don’t get the friends with benefits deal”.
I mean, when my friends get into it, I respect thier decisions, but that doesn’t mean that I actually get what they’re trying to do. It’s pretty much like how Ellie felt about it when Peyton told her about the whole friends with benefits deal. Its kindda surprising to me, but saying that makes me feel like I’m 50 and not soon to be 18. I should understand these things and embrace them, but its all to huge of a deal for me, I don’t think I can simply let it go.

I understand being friends first, but making out and sleeping with someone without having to commit is pure BS to me. These things are precious and the least that you could ask from your partner is their commitment. Guys, I could probably understand, but girls? Its in our nature to be jealous and demand more from our partners- commitment being one of them. I know, even if these girls try to conceal beneath the new trend in dating, they could never conceal the hurt and the agony they go through every time their new friends with benefits partner is friends with benefiting with someone else. Relationships require time and a certain amount of responsibility, its not something you try on and leave hanging.

Girls deserve more than this friends with benefits crap. If a guy couldn’t give you commitment, then he isn’t worth anything at all. Its better to know your worth and make sure that you get what you deserve. I know, sounding preachy again, but please I for one, don’t spend all the time looking good and looking okay just so some guy could come up to me and suggest the whole friends with benefits thing. I couldn’t give up something I’ve been saving for someone who wouldn’t give me the time of the day unless he needs it.

if i wasn’t so computer dumb, i would edit haley’s picture OUT OF THERE and replace it with MY picture. HA. nathan is HOT even when he’s half a picture. heehee:-)

I think i’ve said it a couple of times that despite my tough exterior, what other people say about me still have the tendency to hurt me. There are still people who have nothing to do but rant about other people’s lives and make sure that they put other people down just to feel good about themselves. Its a NEVER ENDING CYCLE. What I never realized though is this: EVERYONE IS GOING THROUGH THE SAME SHIT TOO. I don’t think I have the right to go on and on about how bad people are treating me since everyone experiences the same thing. It IS sad but you have to learn to fight against the system and let go of the things that only weigh you down. That’s the only way to go about it, no other way.

Sink or Swim.

Boo those people. I know who i am and that should be enough

1) I’m sick right now. It must be some virus lurking around because all my friends have it too.
2) I haven’t given up coffee. That is the one thing that I CANNOT give up-ever!
3) According to my dad, I am becoming irrationally masungit. I don’t get it though, I’m just not a morning person since I do a million and one things and I want them all to be done before my eleven forty five class on mondays and tuesdays. Being a dumb oc has its disadvantages.
4) I miss basketball. I seriously do. I miss cheering and red bull is in the finals again. Tell me where the justice in that is?!
5) Accounting sucks but i have to work on it more. But that’s alright. Its a challenge.
6) I have ZERO crushes. I swear, its like the first time in 6 months that I don’t find anyone cute or appealing. Maybe, I’ve been burned by arrogant and rude guys too much. barney still rules though.
7) I’m turning 18 in a week… but it feels like i’m just turning 13. I’m not a girl, not yet a woman. Eewww.
8) Inasmuch as I hate to admit it, I believe that I am evolving and I’m changing. I don’t know if that’s a good thing, I hope it is. Its just that I’m finally more comfortable with who I am and more carefree. I think i’m over the people pleasing stage. Boy am I glad.
9) I guess my dad’s right. I am being irrationally masungit, only because suddenly all the schoolwork is piled up. Its annoying, one week nothing to do, the next they bombard you with a million and one things. boo.
10) I’m less critical.. of myself and everyone else.
11) I’m in my law class right now and I can’t see what the teacher is writing on the stupid white board from where I am seated. Garr.
12) Accomplishing one accounting worksheet takes 1 hour and a half for me. Can you say UHOH?
13) my sister and i get along and i LOVE it.
14) it sucks that my youngest brother is more mature and taller than i am.
15) i miss my kuya.
16) guys are jerks. ARROGANT jerks. boo.
17) sam milby’s cute. i like him. haha
18) shit, i don’t believe i just said that. that is such a cliche so much for being an individualist.
19) i have to find time to read hypocrite in a pouffy white dress. it looks so good.
20) maybe…just maybe.i no longer believe in destiny anymore.

Since my sister’s here, we introduce her to a lot of people and take her to a lot of places. And one of the people that we introduced her to today is my my parents’ “kumare” (what a filipino term huh?!). Apparently, she’s a director… to make the long story short, i met sam milby. I really didn’t make sucha big deal out of it until I was face to face with him. And right there and then my heart melted and the world stopped.

Embarassing as it may sound (i am going to hang myself after this entry) I was STARSTRUCK! Ain’t that tad too embarassing to admit? BUT he’s so pretty…LOOK.

he was SO nice and so pretty. i’m in LOVE. really i am. heehee. this was actually a group picture but since we were next to each other, i had to crop it. haha. embarassing noh?
me gushing over mr. big brother.

now that i confessed my ETERNAL kabaduyan with the world, i can go hang myself:)