“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD.”
                                    – Isaiah 55:8

It is safe to say that one should never question God nor question the plans that He has for us however as human beings we couldn’t help but wonder why things didn’t workout or why our prayer was answered with a no.

In the past four years there have been so many questions in my mind and so many unrealized dreams that there was a time that I thought the life that I have always dreamed of was just that — a dream.

In recent days, I have learned to let go of the things that I could never understand and was resolved to believe that God was enough and I wasn’t in the position to ask why and yet God is faithful.

I would not go through the details but let me just say that in the past four years I have been praying for something so big that it being unanswered left me broken for a time, but now, four years later I am so glad that God didn’t answer that prayer with a yes because of course, He knew better.

So Lord, I take this day to thank you because you saved me from that and in the process, you have drawn me closer to You.

All with a purpose indeed. Romans 8:28.

credits: http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1570045005

On the way to work today, I had a silent realization in my heart, “Thank God not all of my prayers were answered.”


It was quite magnificent to me simply because I’ve always wanted to have my own way. I have never been a brat, demanding my way in a public show, but I would often sulk, feel bad and fall into a pool of self-pity simply because one prayer wasn’t answered the way that I wanted it to.


But now, I look back and thank God for limiting me from making life-altering decisions that could have led me God knows where.


I’m quite amazed that He loved me enough to withhold something from me that would make me happy in the short term but relatively hurt and broken in the long run.


I would rather not elaborate but today i’m just grateful– i’m grateful that no matter how hard headed  I was or how stubborn I was, God, not even once, ever let go of me.


God’s arms of grace just envelopes me today and I am more than thankful for the fact that God waited for me to turn to Him to make me happy.


All my life I’ve been asking for things to fill the hole that only He can fill.


I’ve been telling God what would make me happy when in truth, I needed to take a step back, fill myself with His goodness which is not a struggle because it is something that He freely gives and bask in His love and mercy which is truly what completes me.


If nothing in your life seems to be going right at this moment, if you are frustrated and you just want to know where to begin… start with Jesus.


And soon enough, everything will fall into place. No gimmicks, no formulas.. just the love we’ve all wanted at one point.

okay don’t blame  me if i actually cried while watching this.
aaahh it is possibly every single girl’s dream to be sung to, whether in public or in private.

enjoy…

I have been trying to come up with my annual Valentine’s Day entry since 1:30 PM and so far, I have converted several videos, watched random videos on youtube and read a book but have not come up with one that makes sense.

Well, thing is, I no longer hate Valentine’s Day and I have come to realize that without that passion of hating it so much, I have nothing to write.

Also, it’s the first time that I have no one in particular to write to and I’m not dwindling on the idea of someone that I have yet to meet.

I’m just sort of in between things now and i’m at peace with who I am and where I am.

So let’s try this again. I have come to realize that Valentine’s Day isn’t just made for those with significant others. It’s also not dependent on chocolates, roses and other things.

In fact it is simply there to celebrate the greatest thing on earth: love.

Love in any form, shape and size– which safe to say is not limited to that of relationships that we see on TV.


So if you have someone you love who loves you back today then be grateful. It’s more than what most people have today.


Tell everyone you love that you love them. Valentine’s Day is really that simple.


And with that, I end this surprisingly optimistic and happy Valentine’s Day entry with the real definition of love:


“If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love. 

   Love never gives up. 
   Love cares more for others than for self. 
   Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have. 
   Love doesn’t strut, 
   Doesn’t have a swelled head, 
   Doesn’t force itself on others, 
   Isn’t always “me first,” 
   Doesn’t fly off the handle, 
   Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others, 
   Doesn’t revel when others grovel, 
   Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, 
   Puts up with anything, 
   Trusts God always, 
   Always looks for the best, 
   Never looks back, 
   But keeps going to the end.”


– 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

“What if it passes me by, Lord?”


This was a thought that crossed my mind earlier on the way home.

Every person you meet, no matter what walk of life they come from or how old they are all carry dreams inside their heart. It could be little dreams about minute things or big ones that nobody dares to tell anyone out of the fear of being laughed at.

Yes, in our hearts, God has placed dreams and visions that He promises us will come to pass in our hearts and yet as we look at the world and see many people succeeding, making their dreams come true while we sit wondering if just like them, our dreams would come true as well.

Looking at the world is quite overwhelming. Often, we look at reasons why we are not qualified to make our dreams come true on our own accord. We’re not smart enough. We’re not geographically blessed. I’m not beautiful enough.

On our own accord, we can never make it and so we cry in our own little corner of the world wondering why we are allowed to dream such big dreams when in truth no matter how many times we get on our knees to pray or how hard we work, somebody comes along and snatches our dream away without second thought simply because they know people who know people.

That was the way I used to think.


But then God, ever so calmly whispered into my heart and told me that in truth, He doesn’t need any help in making His dreams for my life come true. He is after all — the creator of all things.


I have come to realize that a big part of making my dreams come true is surrendering my dreams to the greatest storyteller of all time, Him.


But the control freak that I am, I refused to do so. At the back of my mind, God was going to take the most spectacular of dreams and turn them into a second rate version of it. In my head, I dreamed of James Lafferty, surrendered it to God and came back with a singleton stamp on my head. (That really isn’t my dream but for the sake of an example, but James if you’re reading this– uh yes I’m the woman you’re destined to marry!)

Instead of looking to God to be my source and to be the One to make my dreams come true, I held on to my dreams, hoping that God would listen to me and make my dreams come true by simply waving a wand (in my head the wand is the same color as a rainbow). When in truth, God was telling me that my dreams were far too small and that in order for His dreams for my life to come true, I needed to change what was in my heart and needed to trust Him- eyes closed, completely lost for who He is.


Before chasing the dream, I needed to fall in love with the giver and maker of dreams, to find my purpose, I needed to fall in love with the purpose of my being.


Safe to say, there were dreams that I needed to give up on and yet at the same time, God renewed in my heart dreams that were aligned in His plans for me (sadly this does not include being the next American Idol or Bb. Pilipinas- Universe). A big part of this heart renewal process was also accepting that God’s plans for my life may not exactly be the same as the ones He was doing for something else.


The important thing is to be happy for the success of others while trusting God that if He can do it for them, He can certainly do it for me as well. Not in the exact same form because our God is not a boring God but rest assured it will be an amazing and great one because our God is not a God of mediocrity.


God also made me see that in order to see His plans realized in my life, I didn’t need to do more than what He is asking me to do. Okay, let me get this clear: seeing our dreams come true doesn’t mean we sit around waiting for God to make it fall from the sky or have it delivered by the angels on my door step (that would be the day).

It does take hard work and it takes a certain kind of discipline and sticking closely to God. You see, truth is, God doesn’t reveal the plan in one go, instead He reveals it one by one, depending on how much we can take at a time. The things you can do, do it. The things that are impossible for you to do (meeting a person, landing a job without knowing a person inside a company, raising funds for a missionary trip etc), let God handle it because if God has called you to do something, He will equip you.


And remember that you don’t have to force the relationships in your life. God has already ordained the people who will help you in making your dreams come true– God ordained relationships and friendships, God has all of this planned.


Be kind to people but do so because you love them and not because you need a favor from them. Remember, favor is from God, not man, so stick closely with God and the right relationships will come your way.


Truth is, more than our dreams, getting to know God and developing a relationship with God is the most important, basic foundation in your life.


Falling in love with Jesus is already a dream come true.


I know in my heart that God has a beautiful, wonderful plan and purpose for you kind reader of this entry. God has something great brewing for you.

Remember, God has seen the beginning to the end of your life (Psalm 139) and He has the perfect time for everything. It is already in order, all you have to do is walk into those steps.

Just let go and trust that even though your dreams may seem impossible right now, know that God thrives on making the impossible possible because it is then that His name is glorified the most.

God is so excited to make His plans for you come true, so if you feel discouraged, hold on to Him.

I will definitely cheer for you on the day you tell the world how He made YOUR dreams come true.

It is only the beginning.

Last night I came across such beautiful pictures of Manila (Facebook Search: Nostalgia Manila) taken in the 20s, 40s, 60s and early 70s. It is safe to say that I was floored by how beautiful Manila is (was?) and it makes me wonder what my kids would think of the highly congested (yet still lovable) Manila that we have today.

Looking at the pictures left me speechless for a few minutes and just, for the first time, made me feel really good about our country. I have never been one who was extremely Nationalistic but last night I just fell in love with a country that I have taken for granted  so many times before.

For the first time in a long time, I had this gratitude that despite what the Philippines is, it is also home and I am blessed to have been born and raised in this country.

Join me in taking a trip down memory lane and be amazed by what you see

it is safe to say that i am quite a different person from the person i was in your year.

that year is something that i can pick up from the 2000s simply because it was the year that defined me– or maybe it is safer to say that it was the year that jump started what i now call the real journey of my life.

so many times i relive the things that has happened in that year and i wonder, albeit so secretly, what if I had the chance to get it all right?

this is possibly the first (?) and last time that I would say this so openly simply because i do believe that talking about the past does no good, but just to get this blog entry rolling (and stop me from blabbing) , it was in this year that i met the boy who i thought would change my life (in a good, kate middleton kind of way). i had stars in my eyes and a heart for a brain, but to cut the story short, he did change my life but not in the way that i expected him to.

to be honest 2008, you were kind of cruel. maybe because i was cruel to myself as well and now, i’m glad that all things worked together for good (Romans 8:28) but there is no way I am going back to the person I used to be in that year.

but that wasn’t the way it always was.

i had my heart broken for the first time ever and to be honest, at first i wanted desperately to have something that obviously wasn’t meant for me and to run away from that pain, i decided to wait on that person to come back, but alas it has been four years and here you know what, it is time to let that fantasy go.

sad and embarrassingly enough that wasn’t just the fantasy i’ve had– over the years, although i’ve kept my  heart closet at bay, my choices in who I liked reflected a rather embarrassing fantasy– to choose someone better than him to show him that he made a mistake, not me.

but God is good and love us too much to leave as as are and i may have never understood it in the many times in between then and now as to why He never made those relationships work but now I know.

i have come to realize that what I was looking for a partner had nothing to do with the qualities that God wanted me to have in myself and what I had to find in someone else in order to live a life that glorifies Him, even in my relationships.

it has been a long journey, 2008 but I daresay that I finally have gathered the courage to step out of the “fantasy” that you’ve kept me in for so long, a fantasy that is devoid of depth and real love as given freely by the Father.

i also daresay 2008 that I am no longer lonely and I no longer search for my sense of self in other people. instead, i find it in the One who created me.

so 2008, my heart has been battered and torn into pieces since i entered into that year, now it’s the time for it to mend, heal and be taken care of by the One who loves me the most and until He tells me to open my heart again, I will be keeping it close at bay to be used by Him and for Him– the only one who can restore my soul and make me feel complete.


Alas, truly, good bye 2008 and all the memories you had for me, I only take with me the lessons and the memories of how life was when I was in the driver’s seat.

It is time for me to live fully for the One who created me and if He wishes me to share this journey with someone else, He will set up the circumstances and the right people, but until then, I am throwing away the key and running free solely to be loved by Him the one who gave His all for me.

Undeserved but yes, all for me.