When I’m at a loss for words

.. these quotes would do…

“Because that’s what people do, they leap and hope to God they can fly because otherwise, we just drop like a rock; Wondering the whole way down why in the hell did I jump? But here I am, falling…

there’s only one person that makes me feel like i can fly:Its you.”


“This is your life, right now. It doesn’t wait for you to get back on your feet.”

-A lot like love

“We are told to remember the idea, not the man. Because a man can fail. He can becaught, he can be killed and forgotten. But four hundred years later an idea can still change the world. I’ve witnessed firsthand the power of ideas. I’ve seen people kill in the name of them; and die defending them. But you cannot touch an idea, cannot hold it or kiss it. An idea does not bleed, it cannot feel pain, and it does not love.”

-V for Vendetta

“If you give off signals that you don’t want to belong, people will make sure that you don’t.”
-Pretty in Pink

“Yet even in certain defeat, the courageous Trager clung to the belief that life is not merely a series of meaningless accidents or coincidences. Uh-uh. But rather, its a tapestry of events that culminate in an exquisite, sublime plan.”

“People put you down enough you start to believe it… the bad stuff is easier to believe, you ever notice that?”
–Pretty Woman

“Well, it was a million tiny things that when you added them all up, they meant we were supposed to be together. And I knew it. I knew the very first time I touched her. It was like coming home. The only real home I’d ever known. I was just taking her hand to help her out of a car. It was like..magic.”

– Sleepless in Seattle

“You want a man who will lead you down the beach with his hand over your eyes just so you can discover the feel of sand under your feet. You want a guy that will wake you up ay dawn just bursting to talk to you. Can’t wait another minute to just to find out what you’ll say. Am I right?”

–Runaway Bride

“Anticipation is the purest form of pleasure. And the most reliable. And that while the things that actually happened to you would invariably disappoint you, the things that never happened to you would never dim, never fade. They’d always be engraved on your heart with sort of a sweet sadness to them.”

— Dawson’s Creek

“But that’s just it, the butterflies never seem to accompany the right people. All the nice guys who are right for you, they never make your stomach go flip flop”

–Dawson’s Creek

New Life Starts Tomorrow

It’s been a month since school ended and God has been so good to my family and I!

A new chapter of my life begins tomorrow and I am so nervous (please please do include me in your prayers) but at the same time, really really excited!!!

Just a little message:

Do you remember what the then pre rehab and coke LiLo said on Mean Girls when she played Cady Heron? Let me just refresh your memory:

“Saying someone’s ugly won’t make me prettier, saying someone’s fat won’t make me thinner and ruining someone else’s life (through false rumors perhaps?) won’t make me any happier”

I strongly believe in Karma. I would never do anything to hurt someone’s reputation.


Who are you-
and what do you do
To make you think you are above me
But have you walked in my shoes
The pedestal
You put yourself on
Well since I’m breaking it down now
It’s gonna collapse and be gone-gone-gone-gone-gone

Probably one of them tag a longs down 4 the free t-shirt
Cuz you’re a hanger on
You think you got my figured out
Never met me have no clue what I’m about
Maybe I got things you wish you had
You need to stop the hate and get a pen and pad
I work around the clock, so fill your smoth up with a sock
And get you head up off your jock
Tell me who you are and what your background is
Tell me how you’re feelin’ when you listen to this


Falling in love with UGLY BETTY right now!! It surpasses all of my favorite TV shows. Eric Mabuis is soooooooo hot! haha:)

It’s hilarious, Betty sorta reminds me of myself (ohmigad, the prom dress did it!!) and she truly has the biggest heart of any character I’ve ever fallen in love with!!!!:)

A little appreciation here and there…

Sometimes soul searching doesn’t mean that you have to lock yourself up inside of a room and meditate for 24 hours straight. Sometimes, soul searching’s main purpose extracts you out of that comfort zone and forces you to deal with people.

When the week started, the last thing on my mind was to soul search, in fact I’ve been so busy trying to send out back up resumes (don’t ask!), loosing a couple of lbs and finishing The O.C.’s season four and The Innocent Man that I didn’t even realize that I was given rare opportunities to soul search and be satisfied with what I had with me right now.

All it took were a few conversations, fixing our garden and a basketball game.

As we grow older, we tend to take our parents for granted, not that we want to, it’s just that our family falls off the top priority list when we start spending time out in the real world and “real” friends. We get so caught up in the moment that we fail to realize how important they are or how much they’re sacrificing for us.

I must admit, there are times that I go on my own version of brat mode and sometimes expect my parents to always be there for me and giving me the best in everything. What I failed to realize is the fact that in giving me everything, they sometimes forego themselves; some are little sacrifices while some are humongous ones but they hardly make a big deal out of it, like some of us would (*coughguiltycough*).

It didn’t take a major sacrifice for me to appreciate them even more this week (Araneta ain’t near and there’s no underestimating hard to find parking over there at the height of the UAAP fever! It makes me scared to watch another game!!). I really appreciate my two heroes at home and I may not always be little ms. Sunshine but I will love them forever. They spoil me in their own way. I just hope I’d deserve it someday.:)

At this very moment, I could hear the rustling of leaves and when I actually take the liberty to look out the window, I could see GREEN! HEAPS! There’s actually a garden in our new home, something that my mom have tried to avoid in my 19 years of existence! She’s never had a green thumb, but I must say things are definitely changing! So, anyway that’s beside the point. The point that I’m trying to make is the fact that there are two gardeners outside right now trying to bring things togther and I must admit, in general they don’t have an easy task on hand and I couldn’t help but feel bad. How can I ever ever complain??!

I just have so much respect for gardeners right now and those people who do those demos in the mall. I just feel like crying when I pass by one doing a demo and people ignoring or simply laughing at them. It makes me feel so bad.

Another is interesting conversation I had this week was with kuya Albert, my favorite sanitation engineer (calling them otherwise seems off to me right now) over at Carl’s school where I wait for him every day unless there’s a UAAP game (like today). He’s so funny and he always has a huge smile ready for any of us. It makes me feel bad to even use the bathroom. Anyway, while I was having coffee (don’t tell my dad) the other day, I got to talk to him because well, technically students, or ex-students aren’t allowed after 3 but I have my ways. Anyway, it surprised me to learn that he had a lot of problems! It was so moving because if you saw him everyday, you really wouldn’t notice that anything was wrong!

Again, they go up on the ladder of people that you JUST HAVE TO RESPECT. Why models or actors? They just smile. These people pick up your dirt!

I guess the main point of this entry is to inspire you guys today. There’s always something to be thankful for.


The absurdity of my being

There’s one secret I’d like to share with you today and it’s this: I ABSOLUTELY LOVE DAYDREAMING! There’s nothing that excites me more than long car trips, preferably those taken before the crack of dawn and my ipod’s earphones fit snuggly into my ears. These rare moments give me the opportunity to be swept away into my dreamland and think of thoughts that are way too unrealistic even for someone who’s been entering the said landia eversince she was six. It does have its benefits; for one thing, it allows me to avoid temper flare ups. Those are my peter pan think happy thoughts moments. It also led me to discover my passion for writing at an early age, which led me to this blog. Although, make believe is truly more exciting than the daily ramblings that I post on this site. Good thing that THE SECRET has shed a very positive light on make believe because sometimes my crazy obsession with my very own version of fairy tale landia is too far fetched and makes me wonder if I have still have some sanity left in me! But in general, I truly don’t see anything wrong with it. It does make me smile in the middle of a hectic, almost unbearable day and makes you hopeful to face a new day before you sleep at night. The creation of my very own landia is often denoted as silly and childish, which is why I hardly share it with others. But without such dreams and without a place to escape every once in awhile, what would the world become? Dark, grudgy. Everything becomes routine and old. Nothing’s exciting anymore.

For me, it creates a sensation of freedom because in my magical world there are no restrictions and limitations, just blind faith.

Faith for things to come and a great leap into the world where anything’s possible and where time is simply an element.

Was able to watch the UST-ADMU game live yesterday!! I still have goosebumps from the crowd’s energy! It was such an EXPERIENCE. The PBA pales in comparison! Great great game!!! If that wasn’t school spirit then I don’t know what is!

The Innocent Man by John Grisham
Nelly Furtado’s Loose and still itching to get my hands on Sean Kingston’s album!
Coke light, my Lola’s Russian Salad, Shia Labeouf, Hayden Panettiere (gorgeous!!), Chips Ahoy Soft Baked Cookies, UAAP and the Phil Star’s SUPREME section
The OC season four!
Rihanna and Ne-yo’s new song; Is the title I hate that I love you?
Jojo’s version of Beautiful Girls
Clumsy by Fergie
Tounge Tied Favordrive
Songs from HairsprayJ

My mind’s being singing a lot latelyJ

Happy, Loved, Blessed, Excited.

Different Moods on a Monday Morning

-I just finished reading The Secret by Rhonda Byrne and in as much as I would like to share with you all of the quotes that helped in changing my mindset, I couldn’t primarily because that would be plagiarizing the author’s work and reading it straight out of the book authenticates the whole process of unlocking The Secret.
Kidding aside, the book is so powerful that it would go ahead and consume you in a positive way. It would literally consume you, that is if you know how to use the power well enough.
Out of all the quotes that make the book memorable, this is one that I’d like to share with you an I hope this inspires you today, “You deserve to be happy. You were born to add something, to add value to this world. To simply be something, to be bigger and better than you were yesterday. No one else can dance your dance, no one else can sing your song, no one else can write your story. So seize the moment! Who you are, what you do, begins now!” –Lisa Nichols

While writing this, I am watching the 59th Primetime Emmy awards and it is just HILARIOUS! I’ve been laughing since the show started. Ryan Seacrest is gooood. What else could be better than having all the guys that I love from TV landia together in one venue? H-O-T.

God’s been slowly changing my life and the lives of the people that I love for the better and I am at awe at how truly wonderful He is. He has also led the way for me to draw closer to Him by using instruments to direct me to His way. God is good and that makes me look forward with renewed hope for the future. Things could only get better, that I am assured of.

Have a great week everyone and I am slowly getting my groove back in terms of my blogging! J

Flawed AND beautiful

The entire weekend seemed to focus about beauty and loving ourselves.

I mean, isn’t that just selfish? On the surface, it most likely is. Why would we spend so much time trying to love ourselves? Why focus too much on “me” instead of helping the world?

If you’re around me, you probably have been victimized about my debates and surrogate thoughts on the beauty industry and how models and Barbie dolls inflict the young minds of girls everywhere and thus responsible for the twisted morale on beauty.

But, as I’ve dug deeper into the issue, I’ve learned to separate the superficiality of “loving ourselves” and truly loving ourselves.

A good friend of mine sent this quote to me over the weekend and I think I heard this on Mean Girls, “The thing you dislike in other people is the one that you hate about yourself” or something like that. I think that’s the premise of this entry and I hope I get the message through.
I mean, for women everywhere, the world is one big high school. There are cliques everywhere and there’s that certain definition of beauty which has gotten tougher over the past years.

As I rack my brain trying to decipher what beauty was for the generations before me and for my eleven year old self, I don’t think it got this bad. I mean, Alicia Silverstone was an icon after all!
So, why the sudden obsessions about becoming stick thin? I really don’t know. I know that most girls think that becoming a size zero equates to being healthy and well-loved.

I know that feeling exactly, a few entries back, I’ve been complaining about people constantly commenting about my weight and how I look healthy primarily because when I was in pre-school when people commented about my weight, it always meant that I was left in the kitchen far longer than I should have been.

14 years later, I still feel the exact same way. But as I watched The Tyra Banks show last Friday which featured the powerful Arian Huffington and her daughter, whose name I forgot, I’ve come to realize that loving ourselves truly begins with us and must not be confused with being accepted by other people as an assurance of our worth.

The politically savvy, Ariana Huffington spoke about the obnoxious roommate that we didn’t even know we had. You know that person very well, she’s the person who tells us that our butts look fat in those new pair of jeans, that person who says that our new haircuts don’t frame our face well and just makes us look fat and that person who says we don’t deserve any better.
Yes, my dear girlfriends, she is that obnoxious roommate whom we just can’t seem to shut off no matter how we try.

There’s good news though, we do have a choice. We can choose to shut her out and listen instead to the good roommate in our minds. There’s truly nothing we can get out of listening to that roommate. It would just spawn a million and one negative thoughts which are probably not even close to the truth.

Without being selfish, let us consider the fact that without us loving ourselves, who else would? If we can’t look at ourselves in the mirror, who would? If we can’t pick ourselves up from every fall, who would? Without our own inner strength, who would fuel us?

It’s about stomping the fear brought about by the obnoxious roommate and facing the realities of this world. Most of the time, we often over think (guilty!) certain things that we distort the picture of the world. I’m not saying that the ugly world we often complain about isn’t real, in fact it is very real, but we make it worse by telling ourselves that “we can’t do face it!”

Getting rid of the obnoxious roommate is the first step into self-acceptance (ahem, goes to show I’m watching way toooo much Oprah).

Another thing that that’s so ugly about the obnoxious roommate is the threat of being infected by the LA disease that it carries around.

The LA disease infects girls who constantly worry about their weight even if they haven’t gained an inch and is not as grotesque as they make themselves appear. It’s how Tyra Banks describes the crazy way girls look at themselves, seriously you don’t even have to live in LA to be in contact with that disease.

I do believe that there’s this Obnoxious Roommate operational system everywhere and it’s meant to destroy. So girls, please stop and think of your selves and stop being battered by other people’s verbal abuse of how we look or how much we weigh.

I do believe that a much more desired outcome would be cultivated once we start loving ourselves and stop hating ourselves. It’s the first step into changing the world because as Michael Scofield said, we must be the change that we want the world to see.

Come on, do you seriously think that we can change the world when we don’t have happiness within us? I doubt it.

And another thing, I don’t think loving ourselves would make our flaws disappear, it would only make us appreciate them instead of despise them every single time we look at our bodies.

Love every inch of it, easier said than done, I know. But anyone successful who got where they are must have begun somewhere, so chin up and have faith.

Have a great week ahead, gorgeous!

50 ways to be happy

1. Never put yourself last.
2. When you extend a helping hand to one person, be careful not to kick someone else in the teeth.
3. Always own a pair of old, faded jeans.
4. Count your blessings every day.
5. Acknowledge your successes along with your downfalls.
6. Burn the candle that has been instorage for the last two years.
7. Strive for progress, not perfection.
8. Remember, the voice telling you that you cannot do something is always lying.
9. At least once a day sit and do nothing.
10. Don’t close your heart so tightly against life’s pain that you shut out life’s blessings.
11. Celebrate all your birthdays no matter how old you get.
12. Examine your life for limitations and ask yourself why you put them there.
13. Plant a tree, pull weeds, or get your hands dirty.
14. Diminish your wants instead of increasing your needs.
15. Cry when you feel like it.
16. Rejoice in other people’striumphs.
17. Don’t wait for someone else to laugh or express joy.
18. Forgive yourself for any mistake you make, no matter how big or small.
19. Keep good company.
20. Never take a pill for a pain you need to feel.
21. Use your enthusiasm to put yourself in forward gear and give yourself a spark to move ahead.
22. Look in the eyes of the ones you love when you are talking to them.
23. Remember that one is a whole number.
24. Walk in a summer rain showerwithout an umbrella.
25. Do a kind deed for someone else.
26. Keep your eyes and ears open to get the messages you need from people and events in your daily life.
27. Be patient.
28. Eat something green.
29. Change what you can and leave the rest alone.
30. Walk hand and hand with truth.
31. Make laughter and joy a greater part of your life than anger and grief.
32. Embrace solitude instead of running from it.
33. Be zealous, not jealous.
34. Forgive anyone you’ve been holding a grudge against.
35. Slow down and enjoy the present.
36. Walk in others’ shoes before judging them.
37. Send yourself a kind message.
38. Remind yourself that the company you keep is a reflection of what you think of yourself.
39. Go on a picnic.
40. Accept your fears, no matter how crazy they seem.
41. Don’t let other people’s opinions shape who you are.
42. Say a prayer.
43. Never attribute your accomplishments to luck or chance.
44. Know when to say no.
45. Look at the positive side of a negative situation.
46. Remember that you are a spiritual being in a physical body.
47. Avoid seeking out other people for constant approval, because it makes them the master and you the slave.
48. Go fly a kite.
49. Avoid fads and bandwagons.
50. Accept the things you cannot change.

A quick review of my past and a glimpse of my near future

Meeting up with old friends always leave me tensed hours before and fulfilled hours after whatever event brought us together in the first place.

A few hours before our first ever high school batch reunion, I was on the brink of eating every sweet thing in Town and bore my early bird friends to death with conspicuous stories.
As you can tell, I can get very talkative when I’m tensed. A lot of nonsense comes out of my mouth when in said state.

However, during the bash, I wouldn’t even know why I was so nervous to begin with.

My high school friends would forever be my high school friends. As I’ve said in earlier blog entries, I’d always remain the chubby girl in their eyes and that label always made me feel less comfortable.

Of course, the nerves were gone once I saw them again. Past issues and negative stories were replaced by squealing, pictures and laughter.

It felt so good and so right to see them again. It put a much needed stop to my chaotic world and I found rest in our stories about the golden days.

It was also gratifying to see how much my friends grew up in a span of two years. It was great to have seen a grown up version of them because in my mind, we would all be sulken 16 year olds wanting to get out.

Maturity looked good on everyone. Just check out the pictures.

Anyway, I have a new multiply site: http://gypseewoman.multiply.com. Hope you can add me up!


Saturday night was our last acquaintance party of our college life. I also did spend ample times with old friends and it felt good to reestablish broken relationships.

There’s a certain kind of fulfillment that comes from knowing that everything works out at the end.

So, I’m really not going to retell every single thing that happened last Saturday (partly because I’m too tired to remember) but I did realize one thing about myself that would most likely affect my future decisions:

“I took a step into taking a risk and the whole endeavor may have not turned out the way I wanted it to but still for once in my life: I jumped right into it without thinking and overanalyzing things. The past three weeks would be a constant reminder of my newfound inner strength being put into good use”

My Long Overdue Birthday Blog Entry

*Today, I am 19 years old and one week. Heehee.

Allow me to be nostalgic ab out two things:

1) This is my last “teen” birthday

2) This is the last time that I’d spend it in school (graduate school doesn’t really count!!)

I cannot believe how quick my 18th year passed me by. In one spectrum, it was indeed quick, while in another it went on for too long. So I’m scratching my expectations for this year. I have goals and my to-do list but that’s just about it.

My birthday this year was amazingly simply because I’ve reconnected with people and reformed tattered relationships.

There’s a sweet satisfaction in that because I’ve been praying for peace above all things to come into my life and that was answered. The strong assertion allows my heart to hope for better things ahead (hope not expect! Haha)

Indeed, the best things in life are free because all the best gifts I recieved this year were all intangible.

Maturity may be found in the imagninary little box of trinkets but I dare to be thankful for the strength bestowed upon me in my 18th year.

God is truly good!

There’s nothing more beautiful than spending another year of my life with my family and friends.


On a lighter note, I though of how wonderful that birthday was over hotdogs, coffee (quickly shakes are the best), puto from good friends and coffee caramel cake from Red Ribbon.

I’ve never been more satisfied!!!


Thanks to all of you who remembered! My 0920 number is still inactive and my globe number got stolen!! If you greeted me in either of those numbers. Thanks a lot!!!!


Happy bithday CHICHII!!!!!

Growing into “everything”

I’ve been wanting to write about the recent events in my life but never got around to doing it. I just never seem to find an appropriate place to sit down and think of what has been happening in my life. I also haven’t had the inspiration to just sit down and weed out the thoughts one by one.

I was also too busy relishing the thoughts of new questions and answers forming in my head.

One cliche says: “Everything happens for a reason”. It’s the most commonly used and abused. And I believed in it with every fiber of my being. There’s a cosmic and spiritual reason somewhere.

I believed in it but that doesn’t mean that I knew what it meant.

When you’re 15 years old and wide eyed about life, you always think that “everything” encompasses failed quizzes, missed tv shows, unrequited love and being out of place in a cliche that you’ve always wanted to be part of (so sweet valley jr high).

For me, those were all the issues of life and nothing more.

Four years later, life showed me the real meaning of everything.

A good friend of mine who complains as much as I do about life advised me that giving up is never the answer to everything. That was my main theory in life. She debunked my 18 years of belief in three short text messages.

Being an adult doesn’t entitle us to run away which was how i’ve been approaching my life. Running away from “everything” is simply not a possibility anymore.

Facing the realities of everything to me was by curling up in a couch, eating sunflower’s strawberry crackers and watching Grey’s Anatomy and Others in a ratty pair of boxer shorts that I got five years ago. For me figuring out Meredith’s life is way better than facing my own dilemmas.
But the summer and my days in solitude and seclusion has allowed me to get up from my comfortable couch and let go of the feeling of fear.
Ironically, I realize that it’s more comforting to go out everyday and enjoy the sun rather than hide hide and hide even more.
At the end of the day, it’s more fulfilling.
I have no idea if I am growing up in a weird sense or it’s just the birthday fever kicking in. Either way, life’s good.
And from what I heard from the twentysomethings it only gets better.