iamcarla

This week went by so fast.

Yes, dear friends, I have been working haaa-rrrdd and all I ever have time to write are little nothings that match my mood and sentiments.

So just in case you’ve been in a rathole in the past week, I’m pretty sure that you’ve heard or even watched the videos of the now infamous, Dr. Hayden Kho and several sexy stars/starlets.

It’s funny because the culture we have does not appreciate those videos and yet, they’re spreading like wildfire.

In my whole 20 years of existence, I’ve never seen anything as shocking or as malicious as that (again, maybe it’s just me!). I couldn’t even go through the whole thing because it was too sad. And who am I to comment on it?

I really wouldn’t be shocked out of my mind if it were just the sexy stars (no offense, but isn’t that what they’re supposed to do??) but I feel for two girls: his girlfriend (who is just stupid if you ask me, but who am I to say?) and his ex-girlfriend who is on the verge of becoming the next big thing.

It’s sad because these two girls really fell in love with him and this whole scandal just made me shudder.

Are all men like that?

Of course, I give credit where its due, there are good men out there but in reality, there are more Haydens than good men.

Of course not all are as psychotic or extreme as Hayden, but most men would rather treat thier girlfriends like dirt than treat them right.

And for a girl who has never been in a relationship of any sort, its scary.

If most men are like that, then what would be left of the world?

This whole scandal, although it’s no way related to me, made me think and reevaluate certain things in my life.

I’d rather be alone than be with a guy who doesn’t even care about me.

I’d rather be alone than be with a guy who would physically or verbally abuse me.

My parents raised me well and worked so hard to make sure that I have the best in everything and for a guy to simply take advantage of me or put me down so he can feed his ego, then I don’t think that’s wise or right.

And another thing, why are girls so afraid to be alone that they’d rather enjoy sucky relationships and suffer even though it brings nothing but unmerited pain?

My view may change in the near future, but really, you’re wonderful, beautiful and smart, what do you need a second rate man for????????????????????

Ladies, it’s time to get out of that relationship that only causes destruction around the same time for you to stop wishing for a guy to be there to make you feel complete.

I’m not a hypocrite, I’m also talking about me but this realization, this liberating feeling of being complete on your own instead of constantly seeking the approval of a man who doesn’t even deserve it.

A prince would come to compliment us and not complete us.

YOU’RE AMAZING. DON’T YOU DARE FORGET IT.

I got over it. You should too…

🙂

With all the notifications that I get and appreciate, all I really need is this: *Blah Blah Blah* has added you as a friend.

Or at least a message. I live for challenges. Wonder what i’ll feel towards Mr. Not So Blah when it finally happens.

I was having another one of those upsetting days wherein nothing was going right or going my way. I was so down in the dumps that I had to take it out on my friends– again.

So I’m pretty thankful for them because they constantly whack me in the head with the realities of life.

I’ve been in a perpetual state of sadness since last Wednesday when I came to the conclusion that maybe some people are not meant to be a part of my life, no matter how hard I try.

Ever since, my mind has been filled with little nothingness that couldn’t be explained in the English language, no matter how hard I try, so bear with my Tagalog–besides, Pilipino ka diba?

**

Meron pag-ibig na babago sa buhay mo–regardless kung ang pagibig na to ay naiba ang buhay mo para sa mabuti o masama.

Basta, binago niya ang buhay mo–period.

Number one to sa listahan ko dahil eto yung pagibig na kahit anong gawin mo, andyan.

Hindi nawawala, kahit may makilala kang iba, andyan parin siya, kinkumpara mo sa lahat ng dumating after him. Yung tipo hindi mo makalimutan dahil siyang ang “ONE GREAT” or “THE GREAT”.

At kahit sobrang mahal ka na ng dumating pagkatapos niya e wala parin, andyan talaga siya, taunting you as if you’d never be good enough.

Siya din ang dahilan kung bakit sa tingin mo lahat ng dumating pagkatapos niya ay sasaktan ka din.

First love. First hurt. The love that changed your life. Buti sana if it changed you for the better pero hindi e.

Siguro nga, mahal mo parin dahil hindi ka naman maapektuhan ng ganyan kung wala lang, diba?

**

Meron din pagibig na talagang mahirap pero at the end of the day, it makes you stay with the person.

By this, I don’t mean a relationship based on eros but more on family relationships dahil alammo yun, kahit anong away, kahit anong sama ng loob, nandyan yan e.

Sila lang siguro ang mga tao na hindi ka matiis at hindi mo rin matiis.

Having family around is just the most amazing thing because you know that at the end of the day, may mga tao na magmamahal parin sayo kaya its sad when people turn thier backs on thier own family.

**

UNCONDITIONAL LOVE

I felt this with Stephanie. Siguro sa lahat ng taong kilala ko ang little girl lang na to ang love ko without any question. Kasi sometimes when you fall in love with a person, you always think kaya mo ang unconditional love when in fact, hindi.

Sa mga bata lang na fefeel ang ganyang pagmamahal.

This is another type of love that can change your life.

**

The Rewarding Love

Eto yung love na dadating sa buhay mo to make up for everything that makes up for all the frustration and hurt caused by One Great Love.

Hindi naman siya panakip butas, kung hindi siya ang reason kung bakit ka sinaktan ng One Great Love mo.

Si One Great Love sinakatan ka para maging ready ka for The Rewarding Love– who is the person for you.

**

So kahit na I’m going through between phases of love, I feel happy, or at least optimistic.

Dadating din ako doon.

And just for the record, if I tagged you, it means I love you. =)

“Somewhere between heartaches and waiting comes another chance to be found by someone who can show you that you don’t have to be an option but the only choice.”

I don’t get it when people tell me this, “You’re so driven, you intimidate people.”

I seriously don’t get it, what’s so intimidating about me other than my height? (I just realized that I tower most people, which isn’t really funny. It means that David Archie and I could never be!)

That was until I heard this song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sX4MAnIY7x0&feature=related

Now, I know what they meant by it.

I’m a driven and highly ambitious person and I’m not afraid to say it.

I just never realized that it was a bad thing and drove most people away, what’s wrong with a girl wanting to be successful?

I think this whole damsel in distress thing got a little old already. I don’t need to be saved, how many times do I have to say it?

Meron lang talagang mga tao na nakakainis, yung mga kailangan manira para lang umasenso.

I was on the brink of fighting back earlier but then I remembered that God is fighting my battles for me.

It wasn’t easy, I was really contemplating about what I would say to her but I took a step back and realized that it wasn’t worth it.

God’s blessing me with a lot and fighting back was simply not an option. Yes, it’s probably one of the hardest things that I have to do, but maybe this is God testing my faith and I know that there are certain battles that I would rather not fight.