So every year since I’ve turned seven, I made it a point to make my own little list and make sure that I turn my birthday into my very own Christmas Wish List Day.

Well, since my parents don’t really support materialism and anything related to that, I hardly get anything I want from the list unless it’s a book.

Since I started working here I made lists of things that I finally have an excuse to splurge on.

That’s what’s happens when you’re Little Miss Independent, you buy things for yourself on your birthday.

So here goes the list of the tangible and intangible things I want this year:

1) Peppermint Cupcakes from Sonja’s.
— Just because I’ve been immersing myself in the South, I rarely have time to visit one of my favorite dessert places ever. Okay I’m drooling just thinking of it 😉

2) A good dinner with my family filled with laughter and good times.
— I’m always blessed to have them with me so I guess it would just be the same as any of the nights we spend in Pergola 🙂

3) Really cute purple shoes just because..
— I haven’t seen one yet so waah.

4) TWILIGHT BOX SET <3
— Cause I’m a cheap ass and borrowed the whole set from the library. TEE HEE =)

5) Lindt Mint Chocolates
— We have Lindt Milk Chocolates but MINT is the best 🙂

6) Complete Box Set of Grey’s Anatomy 1-4
— HAHA. I want to relive those sexy moments with Mcdreamy 🙂

7) A Digicam.
— I don’t care what brand it is, just gimmee one 🙂 hehe!

8) Aerosoles flats in yellow and blue and pink if they have
— They’re on sale in the new Eastwood Mall 🙂

9) New work clothes
— Since i’ve been struck by the Good Girl Syndrome I started wearing my cream puff *cringe* uniform so I need new skirts, new slacks and new shoes that would disguise how totally disgusting it is =

10) BOOKS. BOOKS. BOOKS.
— Any Jodi Picoult will do (okay, I read half of ’em already). The Pact would be great. And so would be Love The One You’re With. The Age of the Unthinkable. Yes, anything on the bestseller list last month only. I probably read May’s. Sorry you’re talking to a full-on geek 🙂

11) Zac Efron in a sexy box 🙂
— I would love you forever 🙂

I’ve been having an emotionally draining week probably because I’m being spread too thin by the people around me.
It seems like everywhere I go, whatever I do, I’d have to pick sides which kinda sucks since you know as Sami said earlier, I have my own brains and I can use them to formulate an opinion about someone, something, a situation and certain groups of people on my own.

I guess it goes with being sheltered my entire life (there I admitted it!) and I’m also grateful to the fact that there are people who love me enough to warn me regarding certain people and certain situations.
Really, I’m thankful.
But sometimes, I think people forget that I can conclude answers on my own. Regardless that sometimes I don’t make the wisest of decisions but at least they’re mine and no one else’s.
Sometimes I wonder why I’m so afraid to commit mistakes when in truth, I know that when I make them that’s when I grow the most. I know there are fatal mistakes that I should stay away from and I’d like to think that my parents have set enough boundaries for me to know.
I love my friends who guide me and give me advice but thing is how will I learn if I don’t do things on my own?
Before instant messaging with Sami, I was afraid to take a few steps and trust specific people just because I’ve been warned several times that I should stay away from them.
But in all truth and honesty, they’ve been extremely great to me and you know who you are when I say this, “I know my boundaries.” Just trust me and believe that I DO!
I think this goes to show that I’m no longer a child and there are certain decisions in life that I have to make on my own, even with something as simple as making friends or trusting people. The decision lies in me.
The ever omnipresent, Nolan sensed something was wrong earlier and he gave me this wise advice, “Take the risk, not the fall.”
Which really makes a lot of sense, how will I fully enjoy life if I refuse to take risks, even minute ones?
Arvin, my personal shrink, friend and mentor rolled into one also said that maybe I shouldn’t be overly close with people at the beginning of a friendship; this ideal may construe everything that I said up to this point in this entry, but at the same time, I’d like to think that they’re interrelated.
I think there are times that people misinterpret my actions because I’m overly sweet, it’s not that I’d change who I am just to please certain people but maybe I’d have to lay low on that bit for awhile. Cause whether or not I like the idea of it or not, guys do misinterpret things faster than you can say sweet.
I think I have to accept the fact that I’m no longer everyone’s baby and that I have to be mature in handling relationships, especially of the adult variety because sometimes I treat people the same way I treated my classmates in Pre-School without realizing that sometimes, it’s a big no no. Sakin wala lang pero sa iba meron na pala— something I have to learn.
I also picked up that nothing beats humility from my boss (a truly great man!) and that sometimes humbling yourself is the best way to feel good and to feel free. Nobody died because they were humble, in fact most of them did because they were too proud. I’m grateful for God’s strength because it’s only through Him that I am able to humble myself before those who have said more than a few nasty things about me.
But because of what AJ and I talked about yesterday I’ve come to realize that some people may be defensive because they have this perception of me and I think being able to mingle with them outside the glorious *sarcastic* walls of SISC is a good place to start.
So for those of you who are concerned *brother, is that you?*, I know what I’m doing. When I text or talk to people, there’s no way I’m giving my heart away, I’m just making friends the same way that I’m good friends with you. And besides, if they do something bad to me or say something against me, then it would be my lesson to learn?
But I hardly doubt that.
I guess the main point of this over run sentence disguised as a blog entry or a note (AJ, I know you’re an English teacher but leave my blog entry alone! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA) is that I’m willing to take a few risks in the next couple of days, weeks and months leading to my 21st birthday.
It’s about time, isn’t it?

PS:
Brother, thank you for always looking out for me. I appreciate it.
PS 2:
NEW FRIEND/S: I hope my trust doesn’t break my heart.
PS 3:
I didn’t tag you but I hope you know that hey, my relationship status is what it is. I’m still waiting J
PS 4:
HAPPY INDEPENDCE DAY PEOPLE! =)

• I feel the most beautiful when I’m talking to someone and that person just gets it. You know how it goes when your eyes twinkle at the same time because you’re both excited about what you’re talking about. That’s beautiful to me.
• I feel the most beautiful when I make my family happy.
• I feel the most beautiful when I go out of my way and see that a little thing can go a long way.
• I feel the most beautiful when I’m with kids.
• I feel the most beautiful after I’ve read an interesting book.
• I feel the most beautiful after completing a task that I thought was beyond and/or above me.
• I feel the most beautiful after spending time with the MAN. It’s as if I don’t have to worry about anything because He has it all under control.

At the same time, my definition for beauty in other people has been totally redefined as well.

• A person is most beautiful when that person makes me laugh.
• A smart person is most beautiful to me.
• A person who steps out of thier way to lend a hand or share a smile is incredibly beautiful.
• A person who is not afraid to be who she/he is is incredibly beautiful to me as well.
• A person who can dance under the rain is beautiful.
• A person who has the authority but is not overpowered by it is beautiful.
• A person who replies to my text messages is beautiful as well HAHAHA.
• A person who’s not afraid to stand by his beliefs is beautiful too.

“Everyday they manifest, little by little. And I only realized now why that is. If we got used to extraordinary miracles, then they really wouldn’t be extraordinary now, would they”

1) Let my staff wear a hideous uniform that demeans them.
– I’d be humble enough to admit that I don’t know everything and ask an expert to design something as simple as a uniform.

2) Walk around inflated with so much air, I don’t see the ground anymore.
–Even if i’m given a position of authority, I would never think that I’m perfect and that all my suggestions are perfect. There’s always room for improvement even if I’m at the top of my game.

3) Forget that I was once a staff.
–So I don’t treat people like shit. Sometimes people in authority often forget that they were once a struggling yuppie.

4) Scream at people just because I’m upset.
– As a person in authority, you can hand in the trusty memo every once in awhile but I won’t dare to shout at the “personnel” just because I’m having a bad day. A wise man once said that when a person leaves the office at 5 PM, their authority goes with it. We’re all equal at the end of the day so no need to feel superior all the effin time.

5) Be afraid of my staff’s strengths and talents.
– I won’t try to underestimate thier talents just because I want to be Little Ms. Bida instead I’ll cultivate them because there used to be a time that I was in thier position and I won’t forget how it once was.

I’m selfishly grabbing this from my friend, Tosca’s Facebook Box because it makes a lot of sense to do so. (I hope you don’t mind honey!)

This just engulfed me because it made so much sense.

I don’t need a man, I’ve said it countless times but nine out of the ten times I’ve said it, I never really quite meant it, but now I do.

It took me a lot to get to this situation and more than anything, I’m grateful because I’ve seen friends and family memebers who cannot live alone and you can’t say that I blame them, we live in a culture where we need to be with someone to feel significant.

I’m happy I was the ugly duckling in high school because it gave me these important virtues:

A) Never settling for less
B) Patience
C) Independence

Yes, my Friday and Saturday nights may be boring, especially if all my friends are out on dates every weekend and my facebook page may be next to boring since all I ever have are pictures of my family and friends (cute and adorable family and friends!) but you know, it’s amazing to know that you can sustain yourself and you can be friends with yourself.

I’m in between what I feel towards relationships because there was a time when I thought I needed it and there also used to be a time that I used to hate it with every fiber of my being.

When I say that I’m in the middle, I mean that at one end of the spectrum, I don’t like the idea of being tied down (a girl can only take so many “where are you?” messages) and at the same time, I don’t think I’d push love away when it comes my way (which I do most of the time).

I’m just floating in the middle, getting to know people and in my mind coming up with a list based on the guys I meet.

It’s funny how much my taste in men has changed since I started working.

He doesn’t have to be perfect, he just has to be the perfect one for me and since I still don’t know myself fully, I have no right to demand anything from him– yet.

Also, I’m just in this point in my life where I want to explore and learn. Get hurt and learn again. I don’t want to have the baggage of being committed to someone and have him be the last priority in my life.

When the time comes, everything will be perfect, everything will fall into place and I don’t have to rush ANYTHING.

It’s going to happen.

I’m not going to chase after it anymore and I’m not going to be crushed if one of my crushes decide that I’m not his type (whatever that means).

It may be a bad thing to say, but men are mere accessories in this part of my life unless someone shocks the boots out of me and make me realize that he’s the one I’ve been waiting for.

So for the mean time, I’d wait patiently, without hooking up (that is such a dirty phrase-really) or looking.

I’m just living my life and I know my Mr. Right is too.

1) Where is the account office?

2) Kulit Client One: I want my student to go from grade 1 to grade 3.
Me: “Sir, I’m sorry we don’t accelerate our students here”
KCO: “Yes, but she was born in 2000”
I respond with the pretty much the same explanation as above. He nods his head and proceeds to write Grade Three on the Level Applied For in the application.
-So parang hindi tayo nagusap diba?

3) An old lady says to Ryu (A Classic Favorite): Saan ba papunta PNU dito? Puwede mo ba samahan, iho?
Ryu: Ah ma’am mukhang malaking probelma yan.

4) Ryu gets victimized again by Foreign Nationals: Excuse me sir?
Ryu: Yes?
FN: When are all the holidays of the Philippines beginning June?
Ryu: ALL??!

5) A lady, after reading the sign that says “COLLEGE ENROLLMENT SECOND FLOOR” asks me this “Saan ba ang enrollment ng college?”
–Haay gusto ko sumakal ng tao minsan.

6) To Ms Grace: “Can I enroll my child for toddler?”
Ms. Grace: “Sure, where is the child?”
To Ms. Grace: “Actually, she’s two months old, I just want to pay her tuition in advance?”
– So, ano yun? Nine Months pa lang si baby magaaral na with yaya dearest?

7) Old annoying lady: we have a problem, I need to enroll my son!
Me: Ma’am: Please proceed to the Registration Office.
Old annoying lady goes on as if not hearing anything I said: Kasi bumagsak siya so gusto ko sana..
Me: Ma’am, i’m sorry this is the promotions office, please forward your questions to the Registration’s Office.
OAL: Andito na ako diba?
– Hay, Patience is always a virtue.

I’ve had this idea hidden at the back of my mind since last night but since I’m so busy I had to put it on hold for awhile.

I also have to be careful with words since sometimes they have a way of hitting me right back in the face.

I’ve been working for almost two years and it’s amazing to me how some bosses handle thier authority so well while others use it to demean at best and reject someone for personal reasons at its worst.

Office politics is a way of life and there’s no way to go around it.

I just hope that some people would remember where they came from and that there’s room for everyone, no need to be insecure missy.