Don’t remind me of yesterday, tomorrow’s a better topic because yesterday you weren’t with me but who knows tomorrow you might be 🙂
**
The next time I fall in love, there would be no goodbyes anymore.
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What did I tell you? Destiny is REAL. Call it whatever you want, it’s REAL! You can’t fight it, deny it or what not. We were meant to happen love, the way I dreamed it to happen. 🙂
he loves you, why? Why? Why? =(
-my reaction to the ending of the previously mentioned show… =(
Dahil patapos na ang favorite show ko aka my kabaduyan for the month. 🙂
When something makes you smile and makes you cry, you owe it a moment of silence when it ends, at the very least.
Tigilan ako, that’s me simply justifying my kabaduyan!
Booowwwwww. :p
That our dreams do come true and the most impossible of prayers are answered!
Love you! 🙂
“Mom, when did you stop thinking that you deserve a fairytale?”
I asked my mom that while we were bonding over our latest obsession and eventhough I know that my dad is my mom’s fairytale, I do know that there was a time she didn’t think that she deserved it.
I hope that moment never comes for me. Despite all the rejection that I’ve encountered in the past, I dare believe that my fairytale is going to happen.
Fear is packaged with this absurd childhood dream, like the fear of growing old alone because you don’t want to get off the cloud of childhood hope.
Just in case you’re reading this or will read this in the future, I just want to say that in this moment (7:30 pm, 031509) I believe that YOU would walk into my life, tomorrow, three months or three years from now.
And in that moment, we’d know that it was worth the wait.
God will bring you to me in His perfect time and more than anything I give credit to this day because on this day, I was brought back to the road that would eventually lead me to you.
Until then.
It would be difficult for me to write about this weekend, simply because it has brought me to several highs and several equally low points. Writing has always been my therapy but right now, I cannot seem to find the words to explain how incredibly uncanny the weekend has been, not just for me, but for my family as well.
Forgiveness, as I’ve mentioned in previous blog entries, is tricky, the same way that asking for forgiveness is.
When we were younger, it was so much easier to forgive someone because your four year old attention span was so short that you forgot what you ate for breakfast the day before.
At this age, it’s kindda tricky, because some things still hurt and some words still leave a scar. How do you move forward when you can’t erase what has happened before?
I thought forgiveness could be linked to erasing the past when in reality, that is something that you cannot do.
You move forward, forgetting what has been said, what has happened and how you were betrayed.
If forgiveness is tricky, forgetting is trickier. Which is why you give it a time. But at least, you started somewhere.
Kudos to my cousin, Jaja: She was the beacon of light on Friday the 13th. Starbucks, Shopping and you can heal any wounded heart so THANKS:)
And kuya, you know i love you 🙂
I have a confession to make: I got into the Koreannovela phase five years too late. As I’ve mentioned before, I’ve been interested in everything Korea ever since those eight kiddos made its way into my life and this particular novela got me going home early, sleeping late and drooling the whole day with a stupid and dreamy look eminent on my face.
It’s embarrassing to admit but Lovers in Paris has gotten me hooked the same way that Dawson’s Creek, One Tree Hill, Veronica Mars and Twilight has in the past. It also helps that the main character is just so handsome; I’m getting butterflies just thinking about him.
After watching it for four nights straight, I’ve come to the conclusion, that despite what society dictates, everyone and I do mean everyone loves the odd girl out.
Take this: Why would the richest man in Korea fall in love with the quirkiest girl who isn’t the most beautiful or well-educated? Why would he fall in love with someone who’s not afraid to show her weaknesses or not be embarrassed by doing things that society has flagged as inappropriate?
There’s a charm in that storyline. We’ve seen countless movies; read numerous books that made the heroine appear more real and less Barbie-manufactured.
It’s the same reason we fell in love with A Walk to Remember. Because who would have expected the tough, popular jock to fall in love with someone like her? We wonder the same way we do when the very attractive hero who can get any girl he wants fall for the odd girl, the one we’d easily rule out.
I am pegged with the same questions that most of you might have. I also wonder what in the world did he see in her and yet inside, I am secretly relieved.
Because if any of these films, TV shows and books ring true then I have lesser things to worry about. If the prince charming did not fall for the damsel in distress but rather the girl who does not need saving at all, then I wouldn’t have to worry if I had an extra brownie for desert or if whether or not my legs looked good in my new shoes.
In other words, I wouldn’t worry about being perfect and just concentrate on being me, flawed and all. I wonder whoever gave us the idea that we have to be perfect so that we can amount to anyone worthwhile.
I also ponder on the thought that somehow we have to deserve, or work hard for a love like that when in truth, it simply comes naturally. After the months that I have battled in my head about being perfect and finding someone just as perfect, this shatters the false truths in my head.
And a critical truth I forgot: We all deserve a love like that. Nobody has the right to tell you that you cannot amount to that love, because if there’s one Universal Truth that rings true, it’s just that you deserve to have the kind of love that makes your heart swell, a kind of love that doesn’t make sense, but you know is right for you.
This week, do me a favor and know that you deserve that.
“The Greater The Darkness, The Greater The Light”
-St. Peter
My status on YM last Monday was so unbecoming of me that well-meaning friends buzzed me and asked me what was wrong. Of course, what I told them is something that I cannot divulge publicly because the matter does not directly involve me but rather people I care about deeply (i.e.: my family).
What I still don’t understand about myself is the fact that I can take all the beatings in the world done to me by the devil’s disciples here on earth, but when it comes to my family, I have a lesser amount of patience.
I was boiling mad last Monday. Injustice, among other things is something that I cannot take sitting down. My initial response was to fight back, call a friend and ask that friend’s Special Forces to kill off the person and make him suffer in the best way possible.
That thought made me realize that anger and revenge are very dangerous alliances to keep at bay.
In the heat of your anger, one can do the very thing they promised they would never do. After I cooled down a bit and released my anger through the old fashioned way of crying your heart out, I asked myself what was the point of countless Joyce Meyer, Joel Osteen and New Life Podcasts stuck in my ear all afternoon if my initial reaction toward a trial of my faith was to fight back and fight hard.
The world is full of injustices, humiliation (just a few shy words to form the world humility) and mean people (a letter shy of the men). Every day you are tasked to receive attacks from the enemy and you are expected to get back on your feet and fight hard enough by surrendering to the idea that there is someone up there in this big universe fighting your battles for you.
I think the first act of retaliation that crosses our mind is for them to lose more than what you have lost and hurt ten times more than you have. But faith says, you let them go, without saying a word and believe that God will take care of them, in His own way and in His own time.
This my friends, is the harder thing to do. It takes courage and a certain amount of bravery that I only saw from a few idols that I have in my life.
After all, we all have our moment of weakness.
After I heard the humiliating news last Monday, it took me awhile to get up and find a way to get happy. It also took me awhile to realize that I had to be strong for them and that my enthusiasm impacted them a great deal. I was the strong one, even though at that point, I was weak. All the words or wisdom and the things I’ve read were swimming in my head but I couldn’t sit down and comprehend them.
It took a full day for me to recover, although whenever I think about the injustice of it all (for the lack of a better term and really that is what it was), my heart still breaks into a million pieces.
But halfway through my hectic day, I began to realize that there wasn’t much anger in my heart anymore. Yes, it was still in pain but it is no longer angry or mad. Instead it’s just hopeful that today brings us one day closer to a miracle.
That realization led me to the statement listed as the title of this blog entry; you realize that you have sufficient strength to get through anything.
That’s what I read about yesterday when I felt like I was depleted and had nothing left to do, you have sufficient strength, joy, peace and wisdom to get through today’s events and tomorrow will simply worry about itself.
So if you are going through something difficult or nerve wrecking remember, kaya mo. At bibilib ka sa sarili mo dahil nakaya mo siya.
Here’s a cheer for miracles ahead.
Retreat of Light
The retreat that everyone surrenders to is lit and not dim.
Beyond the silence is a ruckus of laughter, clatter and chatter.
Nobody expects to hear the beep or the subtle travel of sound,
All we see are tangles that shifts to a line towards the end of the light
Out of the blue she came to see me
It’s been a while since we’ve been apart
Truth be told my knees they were trembling
I swear i felt like a little child
For she was more beautiful than ever
A healing sight to my own eyes
And the fact that we were together
Never crossed my mind
-When You Love Someone, Drop N Harmony
All the things I remember, all the things that really shouldn’t matter, I do remember them now and today. I remember them like it was yesterday. It’s funny really because after all these years, this is the time that I sit down to remember them, in the middle of a busy day, in the middle of a wedding, in a middle of a basketball game. I realized that I never really stopped thinking about you. You were always dancing in my head, waiting to be unlocked.
And I’m sitting here, going through old Dawson’s Creek quotes because I feel that best explains our story. Quotes always spoke what I could not find the words to say the emotions that I have managed to tangle and untangle inside of me.
But I’m at a loss because every line is about us and yet, they cannot explain the depth of what I’m truly feeling so I’m stuck.
There are so many words lost between our distance and our silence. And a greater part of me wants to run away and dismiss this as simple wishful thinking, but what good would that do? I’ve been doing that for the past _____ years and it only leads us to this infinite chase.
At one end of the spectrum, I want us to work. On the other end, I want it to stay this way: a child’s dream the way Peter Pan felt about Neverland. I’m playing the role of the infinite child.
There’s always something about that love that you never had. It will continue to haunt you and make you rethink every decision that led to this day of wishful thinking and continuous hoping.
You crossed my mind today. That’s really all I needed to say.
Friday the 13th 