I seriously have to do something this summer. This whole not doing anything is getting to me and my mood swings. Yup, its worse than before. Wanna know why? well probably because when your home all day long your mind starts working. Its starts working going into overdrive. Its burnt already but still it continues running. arggg.
I still don’t know though what i should do. I want to try a million of things but again the whole college thing gets in the way. I have to focus on that too.
Something made me happy last night. Ryan Merriman is the new the ring movie. For the record I don’t even like horror movies, but id go through the whole ring thing. its not even that scary. well at least i hope so.
These are the days that i miss arvin and his levelheadedness and his logic. boo-hoo. i really miss arvin. . .

Its official summer has now turned me into a hopless, pathetic romantic. ha. ha. ha. I should do something this summer maybe i shouldn’t be watching too much one tree hill, but its so addicting. as if nathan really exsists in this world we’d like to call “reality”.
I am so grateful for basketball games, two hours of that and all the cheesiness is drained out of my system. ha. ha. ha.
I haven’t been watching dora, the explorer for the past three days and i miss it. boo-hoo.
I have been running out of funny stories, must be because I haven’t spoken to chi in ages, tee-hee-hee.
I was so happy yesterday. I taught my favorite kid a new trick. well it really isn’t a “trick” basta I taught him how to hug!! ha.ha.ha. i am so happy all i have to say is, “love cy love” and he’d wrap his arms around you and sputter words that I cannot understand. he is so adorable..=)
I am happy with my life right now, everything’s falling into place. a bit empty but nonethless fun.=)

Message: LADIES…Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot,who calls you back when you hang up on him, whowill stay awake just to watch you sleep. Wait forthe boy who kisses your forehead, who wants toshow you off to the world when you are in yoursweats, who holds your hand in front of hisfriends, who thinks you’re just as pretty withoutmakeup on. Wait for the one who is constantlyreminding you of how much he cares about you andhow lucky he is to have you. Wait for the one whoturns to his friends and says, “…that’s her.”

GUYS…
Find a girl who calls you baby faced instead of hot or sexy who can’t stand it when you hang up on her and calls right back, who would sitthere for hours looking into your eyes, whodoesn’t care what you look like, but what’s insidecounts the most, Who looks at you with the twinklein her eyes and kisses you on the cheek instead ofthe lips, Wants to be with you in public, even ifyou wear those old grass stained and ripped pantswith the bleached jersey like always, Wait for thegirl who is a constant reminder of your happinessandjoy, who makes you smile just by knowing shelovesyou back. Wait for the girl who you give piggyback rides to in public and she still is in viewof her friends, while she gets off and you hear her go: “you’re the one for me, for always”

I have a huge crush on Alec Baldwin. I know he’s so old but he’s so cute. I told my dad about it the other day and he was like, “That guy’s older than I am” And I reply, “I know but still he’s so hot, no wonder jennifer love hewitt went out with him.”
My dad just laughed, it was just one of those things. one of those days. I have to go see spongebob squarepants the movie.

1.what do others think of you?
maarte, snobbish, odd, totally out there. I really have no idea how people think of me. some say im nice, some say im unpredictable, nothing ever comes close. im just a million of things they probably couldn’t figure me out either.
2. what’s one thing you like to do alone?
read.write.talk to myself. daydream, nothing beats daydreaming.
3. what is your favorite line to say when your drunk?
i drink but i don’t get wasted.
5. how many drinks before you’re tipsy?
see number 3
6. do you ever have to beg?
no.
7. what kind of books do you like to read?
the kid in me adores princess diaries. but im also into john grisham types, nicholas sparks, harry potter and self help books. ha ha ha.
8. do you think you’re cute?
nah…
9. do you have a problem changing clothes infront of your friends?
yes…
10. favorite communication method?
face to face, no one ever uses the landline anymore and i don’t trust text messaging either.
11. do you care?
hmmm…not all the time..
12. what do you eat when you raid the fridge at night?
milk and ritz crackers with cheese although my ritz aren’t in the fridge.hehehe.
13. if you could have plastic surgery, what would you have done?
happy with myself but probably my nose..ha ha ha.
15. describe your bed?
you can hardly see my bed its filled with pillows.
16. spontaneous or planned?
i love having a schedule and being beaten up by it but i know spontaneous is more fun.
17. do you know how to play poker?
no
18. what do you carry with you at all times?
phone.
19. what do you miss most about being little?
the fact that nothing mattered and you get everyone to do what you wanted them to do. “get me water, food, toys.” ha. ha. ha.
20. are you happy with your given name?
yeah but its too boring. . .
21. how much would it take to give up the internet for 4 months?
let me see… one year worth of shopping sprees from am eagle and A&F (make that a lifetime), a room full of chucks and my own mcdonalds…hahaha
22. what color is your bedroom?
vibrant RED…no kidding…LOL
23. have you ever been in a play?
yup…
24. do you like yourself and believe in yourself? why is that?
i believe in myself, sometimes you just have to. but do i like myself? there are times when i want to kick myself and throw me out of the window…see, that’s where the contradiction happens.
25. do homeless, or starving people sometimes annoy you?
i have heart for these people but what sucks is the fact that parents drink and smoke and all that crap while thier kids go and work for them. that annoys me-bigtime
26. do you consider yourself to be a nice person?
yes, i try to be nice to everyone but i have my limitations.
27. do you spend more time with your girlfriend/boyfriend or your friends?
i spend a lot of time watching TV…hahaha…=)
28. what’s one thing you wish you could do but can’t? why is that?
I wish i could leave this summer and travel alone. I wish I could just leave and come back a different person, like go to Irealand, better myself and then come back for college. Then maybe by that time I would be ready.
29. what is your ideal marriage location?
the beach. i have no idea why but ive seen weddings done on the beach and i just fell in love with the whole concept.
30. whats one instrument you wish you could play?
guitar and the drums.
31. something you like and hate?
i like chocolates i hate having to be deprived of them. ha.ha.ha.
32. whats one language you want to learn?
only one?! but i want to learn a lot. i want to learn spanish, french, italian, mandarind. there are just a lot of things i want to do.
33. what do you order at a bar?
san mig light. or anything with baileys on it. but again i don’t get wasted.
34. have you ever pierced your body parts?
my two ears.that’s it.
35. do you have any tattoos?
nope and im never getting one but its always so interesting to be talking about where you want to have it and what your going to get … hehehe
36. would you admit to getting plastic surgery if confronted?
hmmm…
37. whats one trait you hate in a person?
why are you so limited? i hate liars, superficial people, conceited people and those who didn’t give a damn about anyone but themselves. bite me.
38. do you consider yourself materialistic?
no.
39. what do you cook best?
im getting there…ha ha ha…
40. do you cry in front of your friend?
yes…=)

People close to me, most especially my family are weirded out by surreal belief in destiny. I have no idea how and when I started believing in destiny but I do. Yes, I do.
I believe that there is that one person out there for every single one. But then when I was discussing this with guy of logic, Arvin he asked me this questions that still haunts me up to this day. “If there is someone out there for everyone then why are there people who are alone?”
I was baffled because I didn’t have an answer ready for that, I was asking myself the same thing. If there is someone out there for everyone, why are there people who aren’t with someone. I told you Arvin has a great way of messing with people’s minds. But anyway, that in a way gave my bubble of hope a burst.
My cynical way of thinking took over the hope that I had. What if I was one of those very few who didn’t have anyone in their lives? What if I was destined to be alone? What if I would never ever get to have my first kiss ala Drew Barrymore or what if id have it when im fifty (stupid I know)? You see those are the thoughts that come to my mind when I go and think about my destiny.
But from time to time my hope comes back (this happens when Arvin isn’t around,he he he) and I start thinking of the day when my “destiny” and I would finally meet. I still have doubts. But I have faith.
I am still cynical but deep inside of me, that part of me that people don’t see wishes that there is someone out there for me. Someone I actually like, not just someone for the sake of having someone.
I have my conviction of staying single until the time comes, but that conviction does not take away the days of depression and cynisim (that aptly describes today).
But whatever my mood is, I still strongly believe in destiny, in fatum, in serendipity. I believe that making choices is vital that’s what makes life interesting but despite all the choices we make, no matter what road we take if we’re destined to be with someone no matter how far away we are from that person your going to see each other, fall in love and all that sappy stuff that movies are made of.
but for the meantime all you can do is wait. wait and hope that all the crap that ive been ranting about in this entry is true.
*wink*

(another revised entry)

Basketball is fun. The adrenaline rush you get cannot be explained. The food is also a major plus, nothing beats watching a game while muching on all that junk. But with all the good things that come with watching a game, there are also sucky things that come with it. Loosing tops my list but there are other things as well.
Actually watching a basketball game is pretty much like going to school, you see the same people. You gain friends but you cannot please everybody. Okay, let me back this up a little bit and explain. You see I view watching a basketball game as first a blessing because it is my dad’s job. Second, an outlet (if you feel bad nothing beats watching a basketball game to let you forget about that broken heart) and a hobby (aside from Coke, I also cheer for other teams). I view it as a school, but others view it as a party. What do I mean by this? Some people view it as a time to get dressed ( more skin the better), hooking up with boys (well basketball players are somewhat hot) and showing off thier “connections”.
I honestly couldn’t care less. I respect people if they view as that I respect that. Until the last game. You see for the last couple of games there’s this certain mother and daughter (i know its as if we’re in a beauty pagent) caught my attention and my mom’s.
How? Well, wouldn’t you notice people who on purpose show off thier close to certain players (hint: they came from an amateur league but not from dear ADMU or DLSU) and look at your from head to toe and make snide remarks about what your wearing with matching evil stares.
My mom and I just ignored it and continued to ignore it even if their stares and comments became more obvious. For example last game since we came from my graduation we arrived early in araneta, we were able to catch the first game. So carl and I left my mom in starbucks and we decided to watch the first game. When we got inside there were guys sitting on our seats so the usherette asked them to move since those weren’t thier seats. No problem with the guys until this girl who wasn’t seated on our row started talking loudly (it was the mothe)”Bakit? Ticket namin yan ah,saan ba galing ticket nila?” It was way biatchy but carl and i just sat down and enjoyed the game but the usherette replied,”Wala ho akong magagawa ticket nila yan.Hindi naman sainyo un.” The mother continued the debate (I wish like hell that arvin was there,haha) but the usherette went on her way obviously pissed. Carl and I were quiet, I was busy texting linette (lily, i miss you!) when suddenly i heard a rather loud girl (it was the daughter) shout, “Go kuya *name of that basketball player here*” She looked at me as if to say, “kilala mo ba un?” Again, I ignored her. Then she passed infront of me without even saying excuse me and talking loudly on her phone saying,”Ay naku! Andito na naman ang baduy ng suot. As if naman. Upuan namin un eh” Hello, enough with the seats.
Again, I ignored them until they left.
What’s with all the hating? There’s no competition going off court. Its all for the pure love of the game. No room for hating anyway and judging. Its a small world, see we even bump into each other from time to time. I hope you and your mom realize that we haven’t even formally met so there’s no need for hatin and harsh talking. It doesn’t help anyone, not even yourself and your “status” (whatever you think your social status is).
Let’s forget all this hatin’. Let’s just respect each other and root for our teams. Its more fun that way. Besides, I don’t comment on your clothes anyway.

“Don’t go and sell yourself to self-esteem,don’t be plasticine. Don’t forget who you are.” -Placebo

“You are what you feel and what you are is beautiful” -Slide, Goo Goo Dolls.

“Never let anyone make you think that you don’t deserve what you want”

“Accept who you are and revel in that,” Morrie Schwartz, Tuesdays with Morrie.

Never be afraid to be who you are if the people around you don’t accept you find another group of people who do. It may be difficult at first but then it would all be worth it. We all have the right to love, be loved and made feel worthy. Never let anyone make you think otherwise. Life would be easier if you accept this fact.

He puts God first.
He has a lot of friends but has no trouble with being alone.
He can dress lavishly but chooses to keep it simple.
He is not materialistic.
He doesn’t spend every night drinking, partying, smoking and getting laid (excuse the pun but it is true.)
He makes everyone laugh,even himself.
He gets me even when I don’t say anything.
He has direction.
He loves his family.
No sign of an ego-at all. (even if he has a number of things to brag about)
He can get along with my mom, my dad and my grandmother.
We can never bore each other, even if we’re just spending the day at home.
He’ll treat my friends, family and me right.
He’ll sincerly fall in love with who I really am, help to change me for the better and allow me to do the same.
***
The Lord hasn’t sent that person to me yet. But im willing to wait because in His perfect time everything will be perfect as well.

( A revised entry. I posted the first entry in my other blog.)
Flip flops, tanning and the new line of Louis Vuitton can be found in the lifestyle section. Terri Schiavo, the pope’s latest condition,world hunger and the complimentary room given to our first husband (or whatever they call him) can be found in the main page.
I understand the difference of these two parts of the newspaper but that doesn’t make me less apalled. People have better things to do rather than worry about tanning, flipflops and Louis Vuitton. Okay, maybe the “overly fortunate” can benefit from this but not the ordinary middle class people that this country is composed of. There is nothing wrong with wanting to look good but showing people these expensive things that is very much impossible to afford for most of the population is not helping anyone. Yourselves and your social status maybe.
I commend most of the writers of YS ( a section of the Philippine star every Friday). They brighten up people’s days but being real and not pretending to be perfect. I think its snnobish of these people (not the writers from YS) to talk day and night about fashion and make it appear that a person would die and is not worthy if he isn’t wearing the “right labeled clothing”. I love clothes, i love getting dressed and I love my flipflops but I don’t think im better than everyone else just because I do.
What am I saying here? This is exactly what’s wrong with the world today. These are the people that send off the wrong connotation of beauty. And its sad to think that instead of going against this wrong connotation we just ride the wave and conform.
SO WHAT IS BEAUTY?
Beauty is giving yourself to others in terms of service.
Beauty is not judging based on superficiality.
Beauty is respect.
Beauty is loving unselfishly.
Beauty is forgiveness.
Beauty is passion.
Beauty is being real.
Beauty comes from the love we get from having a relationship with Christ.
Christ is beauty.

We all have something beautiful inside of us and it won’t be brought out be even the most expensive line of cosmetics or clothing. It can only be brought out by Christ.

If you have Christ in your life, you are the most beautiful person in the world.
And that’s a fact, no matter what people say you are beautiful.