I had a pretty good week, after Pastor Paul’s preaching last Sunday, everything just fell through for me and my family as well.

Almost everything I prayed for were answered this week

**
In as much as I enjoyed this week, I still had a few minor bumps along the way.

For one thing it’s that time of the month again and well, I have to install ten billboards by tomorrow which meets my target but still, it’s enough to drive any sane 20 year old crazy.

But I had a shoot with Elle, Mervyn and Patricia and really these pictures just made my week.

Special thanks to Ate Rachel and my loves, Mervyn and Patricia, honestly, I admire your character more. You guys are the sweetest, loveliest people I know 🙂 Yes, even you, Mr. SISC =)

Elle is one of the most beautiful kids I’ve ever met. She was so cooperative during the shoot and obviously, she enjoyed the cameras 🙂 Definitely a star in the making 🙂

**

I was randomly listening to my playlist on Itunes (something I have neglected to organize, I must get down to it one of these days) and I was stuck listening to Taylor Swift’s The Way I Loved You and I almost fell over when I realized what the song meant.

Very timely if you ask me because several things were going through my head before my itunes randomly scanned for songs (yes, I do have something about destiny) and landed on that one.

I’m alone in my cubicle and laughing because I’m thinking, “Here I go again” .

Thinking of you when I really should just focus on other things, or specifically, other people. Thinking of you is unfair, but you know, you can’t take that away from me.

The feeling of bittersweet melancholy that I feel whenever I think about you and it’s because, well, I really don’t know. If I had identified the reason why you’re still here then I really wouldn’t waste my time blogging about you right?

Besides, I was the one who said no.

There’s simply something that pulls me back whenever I’ve taken four steps forward.

I guess, we all have our ghosts and for me, that happened to be you.

Quoted from a political science professor:

“Take for example the statement, “i love you forever”. This is false for “forever” is not empirically quantifiable. The appropriate statement is, “I love you today, ask me again tomorrow if I still do” =)

Thanks Cla for sending me this 🙂 xooo.

There’s simply something about high school and college that would make you want to retreat in a shell and just smack yourself for several life-decisions that you’ve made that may have or may have not built your reputation.

You know, its really the paranoia kicking in (or just the late nights of reading Jodi Picoult. Just like any love story, its dark, rich and addictive).

But there are simply days when your fear of reverting back to who you used to be in high school creeps in, you know it simply pulls you in and makes you want to run because you feel that a part of that old person is still in there and all you have to do is fight against it.

**

Today marks my first year here in SISC.

If I wasn’t so sick last night, I would be dancing now.

It swells my heart because after everything that I’ve been through, after all the heartaches, the tears and the disappointments, I can look back, smile and say, “I’ve been through all that, now its time to move on to another part of my life”

Here’s to looking forward in faith that things could only get better 🙂

Every inch of me wants to stay mad. Every single part of me wants the easier way out and that’s getting mad, staying mad and stay away from being rational.

But deep down, I know that the easy way out isn’t always the right or mature thing.

(Kudos to Berniece, Thanks!)

On this day, you read something that moved you and made you realise there were no more fears to fear. No tears to cry. No head to hang in shame. That every time you thought you’d offended someone, it was all just in your head and really, they love you with all their heart and nothing will ever change that. That everyone and everything lives on inside you. That that doesn’t make any of it any less real.

That soft touches will change you and stay with you longer than hard ones.

That being alone means you’re free. That old lovers miss you and new lovers want you and the one you’re with is the one you’re meant to be with. That the tingles running down your arms are angel feathers and they whisper in your ear, constantly, if you choose to hear them. That everything you want to happen, will happen, if you decide you want it enough. That every time you think a sad thought, you can think a happy one instead.

That you control that completely.

That the people who make you laugh are more beautiful than beautiful people. That you laugh more than you cry. That crying is good for you. That the people you hate wish you would stop and you do too.

That your friends are reflections of the best parts of you. That you are more than the sum total of the things you know and how you react to them. That dancing is sometimes more important than listening to the music.

That the most embarrassing, awkward moments of your life are only remembered by you and no one else. That no one judges you when you walk into a room and all they really want to know, is if you’re judging them. That what you make and what you do with your time is more important than you’ll ever fathom and should be treated as such. That the difference between a job and art is passion. That neither defines who you are. That talking to strangers is how you make friends.

That bad days end but a smile can go around the world. That life contradicts itself, constantly. That that’s why it’s worth living.

That the difference between pain and love is time. That love is only as real as you want it to be. That if you feel good, you look good but it doesn’t always work the other way around.

That the sun will rise each day and it’s up to you each day if you match it. That nothing matters up until this point. That what you decide now, in this moment, will change the future. Forever. That rain is beautiful.

And so are you.

This blog will change your life, visit and share:

http://pleasefindthis.blogspot.com

Here’s the truth…

I am sorely missing Tagaytay, teaching and my kids. It’s been extra hard these past few days because missing them has accelerated to a point that it absolutely hurts.

I thought I’d be fine by now but just like on the day that they left, my heart is breaking into little pieces.

In a way, it’s a good thing because it reminds me of what love feels like and how I was capable of loving people other than my own flesh and blood (Told you i’m not a monster!) and it reminded me of the pact I made of loving people more and seeing the good. I have not been as inspired but maybe this is what I needed to refuel my passion.

oh, what i would give to have those wonderful days back<3

My mom used to tell me all the time that who your friends will define who you are eventually and I never really got it.

I mean, there’s that whole judgement thing, why discriminate right?

But of course, she’s my mom and she’s always right. It’s extremely important to keep a good circle of friends around you because well, they do influence you in more ways than one.

And I only realized that important fact today.

You’d have to be wise, you know?

I didn’t even want to go to church this morning because events of the past week has weighed me down that I couldn’t even get up in the morning and expect something good.

But right now, I’m grateful that my parents shoved me out of bed because the message was timely. It makes me giggle because God does speak to you when you need it most, only you’d never know when and where or how He’d speak to you. He just does. That’s how amazing He is.

Today’s message was about not giving up. Not giving up in doing good, not giving up in doing your best even nobody in the world gets it, not giving up in expecting that good things are coming your way and you won’t just live a mediocre life. Instead, you must fight to regain your faith and strengthen it.

I used to think that something like that would just happen, but anything in life hardly ever does. It takes a lot of effort and sometimes, a lot of pain to fight against life, to go against the tide and to resist the temptation of simply sitting down and taking everything, thinking that you deserve it.

We deserve good things and that’s the only thing we deserve, don’t let anybody else let you think otherwise.

I’ve done a few shady things in the past week and none of which am I proud of, I won’t blame it on growing pains, but rather, mistakes that I should learn from.

It will be a better week and I’m not going to give up that easily.

Work was ridiculous this week and it’s breaking my heart because I truly love it, you know how you get when you fall in love with a person, realize its faults then love it again because you realize that despite its flaws, you still love it?

That’s how I feel about work. No matter how difficult it can be, how demanding, frustrating or pressured I am, I can’t see myself in another place. It’s where God wants me to be and i’m being trained for something greater.

But, I don’t always remember that, you know? There are days when I just want to scream and bitch (and sometimes, I do) and then I feel extremely guilty about it because they’re wonderful people and I just don’t like disliking people. It’s awful.

I guess, no matter how unfortunate, you have to go through these things because that’s when you’d know that it’s worth it. I just thought that the world would be nicer, but it hardly ever is.

**
I cannot go into the details of the situation that I’m in with my siblings. I don’t want to justify or to blame, I just want all of us to be happy with the choices we’re making.

I know we’ll be back to where we were, only better, in due time.

It’s time to heal, I just hope they know that I love them.

**
Love. Love. Love. When did we ever stop wishing for it?

Really.

**
OMG. I miss my highschool and college friends. Those retro pictures just made me want to go back. Lovely, very lovely.