Author: admin

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rediscovering The Baby-Sitters Club

It has been a long time since I read a Baby-Sitters Club book. In fact, I gave them away since I met someone who needed it more than me at that time. It was a HUGE sacrifice because my books were some kind of a security blanket for me. No matter how many times I read them, I still enjoyed browsing through them. Nothing made me more happy than re-reading my books. I consume them in more than just one sitting. It was that fun for me.
I have never been a high-maintenance kid, never was. My books were enough to make me happy.
I never relived the memories of my BSC/SVMS days but over the weekend there was something in me that clicked and I found myself missing my old books. I would like to thank everyone who lent me thier books, it truly made me happy.
Now as I researched on the series, I realized that I missed a lot. There was a TV series that I didn’t even get to watch and books that I didn’t even get to read. Despite my age, I still felt myself feeling sad because I never got to read it. But now I think that I’m going to start buying books that I never read before. BSC is still one of my favorite books-ever.
Maybe, there is truly a child in all of us. And right now, my inner child is truly making me happy.
Sometimes it isn’t too bad to go back and relieve the things because in one way or another.. it makes you feel that despite the ugliness of the world.. you rekindle that childlike innocence and start to hope again.
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the heart of a champion


Manny Pacquiao won again today. I must admit prior to the fight, I didn’t want him to win (okay, Pinoys all over the world, kick me now). Blame this on all of the bad publicity that he bombarded the papers in te past weeks. Also, I hate the fact that he denied his other child, but then again, that is none of my business.
The other reason that I didn’t want him to win may also be due to the fact that Erik Morales is just so CUTE AND HOT. *drool drool drool* Also, I have this thing with arrogant people (allegedly). Also, I cringe at the sight of anyone getting hurt physically or emotionally or verbally.
But I must admit that after “the people’s champ” won, all my prejudiced about him changed (except of course my admiration for El Terrible and his lovely accent haha). What I saw in Pacman after winning was beyond admirable,it was breathtaking. I had tears in my eyes when I saw him hug Morales after the fight and when I heard what he prayed for before the fight (that none of them would get hurt).
All my negative connotations about him changed in an instant. He was a true champion at heart. Humility is the true virtue of champions.
The camaradire of the Filipinos every time Manny Pacquiao has a fight never ceases to amaze me. I wish that we’d have that kind of togetherness even if Manny is not knocking someone else down (especially a cute one).
So Congratulations Pacman:) And Erik, you have stolen my heart. haHaha:)
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me and the perfect man

Wentworth Miller is hot.He’s so cute and he has the mysterious vibe going for him. I wish all guys were like that. I so wish that most of the guys were like him.
I think this is the reason for the current state of my lovelife. I don’t think there’s another way to explain it. I am too in love with guys like him *points upward*.
Maybe I have to realize that guys like him, John Tucker and the 21 year old Justin Timberlake just doesn’t exist anymore. Or they do but they’re either married or taken, either way it’s still the same: unavailable.
I have no idea what characteristics or qualities I should look for in a guy. I’m too immersed with these fictional characters that I fail to realize when reality is knocking at my door.
It may be ironic for me to talk about this since I just stated in my past entry that love wasn’t an option at this very moment. However… there’s that small part in me that wonders….

But until I figure things out… I think staring at wentworth wouldn’t be so bad?
what do you think?
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Do I work well under pressure?

The answer is probably NO. To begin with, today I ate so much. My calorie intake just today could feed an entire third world nation.

Now, I just feel like throwing up. When I’m depressed I usually eat, eat, eat. Another alternative is mainly crying. Crying like there’s no tomorrow. I usually feel good after a good cry, but either alternative really doesn’t bode well with my self-esteem. I’d either grow up to be barney or Alanis Morissette. Or both. Angry AND fat. So I probably should stop.

My best friend in the ENTIRE world e-mailed me as usual and she says that she’s worried about my entries and how dark they’re becoming, so I’ll try to overcome the darkness that has been my life and try to write an optimistic entry…

if you’ve been one of those good and patient people on earth who read my blog every once in awhile you’d probably know just how sad my life has been lately. But when I was going to school this morning I just realized that

I DONT WA NT TO BE SAD ANYMORE.

Instead, I just want to be happy. My heart has been SHATTERED over the weekend, but that doesn’t mean I can’t pick up the pieces. The drawback maybe that I won’t love for a little while , or even invite the idea of it, but I’m getting there.

So, I guess it’s safe to say that I’m happier today. And i’m optimistic. I’m happier today. And it’s because of me and NO ONE ELSE.

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a little question of insanity.. seriously.

I was just wondering… If you’re going craszy, do you actually know that you’re going crazy? Or is it only noticed by the people around you? Like your dad for example. Hmm. If you have an answer email me immediately at the addresses given in the “ABOUT ME” box.
So what exactly prompted this question? Well, you see for the past three days my dad and I have been arguing a lot. Nothing that would shake the world or turn me into a rebel chick, but arguements that people who love each other get into every now and then.
I must admit that I have been more irritable than I used to be but it may be because of all the pressure around me. So my dad’s wondering what happened to his eleven year old like daughter and who is this old lady that he is always with?
I can sense that it’s logical… but if I’m mad at the world all the time does that make a crazy person? And as I sifted through my blogs I realized just how much I’ve changed! It’s like I’m a totally different person… what do you think? again email me at your convinence.
So another issue with the rents is my weight. Which annoys the hell out of me!! Again I am not ANOREXIC, maybe I am scared of gaining the weight I had before (ALOHA WHALE SHARK FROM FINDING NEMO) but that’s just it. I know for a fact that NOT eating will make your memory weak and I don’t need that. So i’m not anorexic, I like the weight that I am in and oh I’m not underweight!
So anyway, I know that my father is just worried about me. Well, it’s not exactly his fault that his daughter is the ultimate dramaqueen. *sigh* And I’ll forever be a daddy’s girl.
I just want to be my old improved self. Hmm. that was confusing. but i know you get my point.
To better days ahead. Cheers!
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that’s the reason why our perception of beauty is distorted

Yesterday, a classmate of mine showed me the dove evolution commercial which showed how certain models were pinched and edited in order to look like goddesses. It was for thier search for real beauty campaign and boy did it hit home! It was ironic because as I was thinking of that this morning, I turned on my radio and mo and the rest of his crew were talking about the same thing.
Just for the record, I love Mo, Andi-9 and mojo jo jo’s morning show. I’ve loved it eversince it started. Hands down to mo, he is such an honest person. Someone so frank and opinionated I appear meek compared to him. He’s so amazing. *gush gush* There goes my crush on short guys, trust me I never go for the six footers, kindda crazy if you know the environment that I grew up in.

Anyway, back to the topic they were constantly talking about how hot girls would only go out with rich guys. Same line of superficiality that I was talking about previously. I don’t know how to react to this specific statement.
I believe that in one way or another, girls were raised by thier parents and taken care of to not just starve to death. It’s a reality. I for one don’t want to starve to death, most of the time, love just aint enough. Period.

So i’m not commenting on that anymore.

However, he said something about people in this country and how they worship the rich. NOW that is something I agree with. They’re just people anyway. And what is up with people worshipping celebrities in this country? I understand the whole american culture but the philippines? Reality check, most of them are just like you and me plus an ego as huge as Europe.

so why bother?

And i HEART nerds. They’re the best people to be around. if a guy knows how to dress most of the time he doesn’t know the difference between Antartica and Australia.

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my lack of judgement hits me in the head… BOOM.

And keep talking that mess, thats fine
Could you walk and talk, at the same time?
And its my name thats on that jagS
o go move your bags, let me call you a cab
Standing in the front yard, telling me
How I’m such a fool, talking ’bout
How I’ll never ever find a man like you
You got me twisted
You must not know ’bout me
You must not know ’bout meI could have another you in a minute
Matter fact, he’ll be here in a minute
You must not know ’bout meYou must not know ’bout meI can have another you by tomorrow
So don’t you ever for a second get to thinkin’
You’re irreplaceable
***
I’m mending my faux heart, so don’t think you’re that special
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the thing about karma


Just a few weeks ago I was smoking hot with anger with this guy who was spreading rumors about me liking him (head over heels in love with him) and saying things about my family, especially with my mom. It’s an understatement to say that I was pissed at him. I wanted to kick him and put my boxing lessons into good use. I was that mad at him not because he was thinking that I like him (please) but because he was saying things about my parents after they treated him so nicely when he would go to the house and he’d be saying a lot of things. That’s just plain annoying. Another thing that bothered me about him was the fact that he used my relationship with the Lord to get closer and… arrg.. not getting into the messy details.

Anyway, as I was saying I was SO MAD and I wanted to get back at him so bad but fate intervened and it didn’t allow me to do anything drastic or cheap or anything that I would eventually regret (I hate bickering with people most of the time I just shut up).

It’s not that I’m happy with the unfortunate things that happen with people, I’m not mean but sometimes it makes you think. This whole ordeal made me think and melt my anger away. It simply made me realize that revenge would not get anyone anywhere. So now, it’s as if that all my complaints about other people just melted away.

I’ve also contemplated about my own actions. Now I think carefully before I do anything or say anything..

I don’t want the boomerang called karma to hit me in the head.

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just being my usual dramaqueen self.


Mood: Still Pressured
Current thought in my head: must get more sleep and stop sleep walking
Current state of my heart: tired, but happy.

The weirdest thing happened last night. I walked in my sleep for the first time today and it was SO eeire. It was a good thing that my mom wa there. I was going out of the room and I was saying that I had to finish something because I had to pass it and I had to finish it immediately. Yup, if that isn’t pressured then I don’t know what it is. My dad’s worried about me, he said that with the amount of coffee that I consume, the pressure I put on myself and my own personal drama he says that I might break down soon, which isn’t really a good thing considering that finals are just a month away. Okay there I got placing pressure on myself. I’m just swamped with things that I have to and here I go worrying about the things that have been happening in my own personal life. To tell you honestly, things that have been happening within my personal life has taken a larger toll on me than things that I have to do for school. The freak that I am I actually enjoy it.

But I no longer want to elaborate, sometimes dealing with people is JUST TOO MUCH TO BEAR.Sometimes having to care so much about others and how much hurt they’ve caused you gets old (not to mention, makes you look old) and I just want to get rid of it right away.

Sometimes when the world becomes way too cruel than you can ever imagine, sometimes all you can do is sigh and wish like hell that the world would stop turning but I’ve read a quote somewhere that said that “the world doesn’t stop for your grief” and it’s true.

There may have been bad things or cruel people that have became major roadblocks in my life but my life doesn’t stop there, my passion for helping other people has not faltered.

I’m bruised but I’d like to think I’m better. They said that the world can turn you into an ugly person inside but this time I won’t let.

I still have that hope in my that after this dark road that I’ve been trudging on there would be light and on my way there, I know there would be people that I’d be meeting to shower some sunshine in my life.

My much needed sunshine.

I’ll continue to be a lending hand, no matter how bitchy life has become to me, I won’t let that stop me.