I would give absolutely anything, anything I tell you in exchange for me to return to the good ol’ college days, or maybe even to the good ol’ high school days.

Yes, I have never been this self-adjusted in my entire life but at the same time, I’ve also never been this frustrated.

It comes with the territory you know? This whole growing up thing, now I know the reason why Peter Pan always resented leaving Neverland. Ooh, the thought of not growing up seems very enticing to me right now.

I now want to take back the number of days that I wished that I was grown up in exchange for today and all the torture that it has caused me.

My dad says I should stop being a brat, but really, am I even one? Is it brat-like to demand for respect? I guess I have to stop complaining because it’s not a grown-up thing to do.

But, honestly, it’s taking every fiber of my being to not scream. I wish I was one of those heiresses who don’t have to work for a living. I wish I was twenty years old and vacationing in the Hamptons. Not twenty years old and thinking of what’s next, how much income my company has to generate and so on. I’m too young. Sometimes I regret graduating so early.

In a way, I’m still living a fairy-tale, this being evident by the wicked witches surrounding me. I’ve never been this deflated.

I’m fearful of what’s next.

Sometimes, I think I take myself so seriously when I shouldn’t. I should have my own dose of partying stories to tell, you know? Why am I so uptight? I’m being stretched. Stretched way too much.

I seriously need a life.

To say that I had a very “cleansing” weekend would be an understatement. In as much as I wanted to go out of town and party the weekend away, I didn’t. Instead, I did what I should have done weekends ago and that’s rearrange my room and clean from top to bottom.

It was very theraputic, people should be cleaning things out more often, it saves you a lot of emotional distress. I kid you not.

***

I guess going back to old friends isn’t necessarily a bad thing. I thought that in order to move on to something new, you had to leave everything behind. Truth is, sometimes you’d have to go back a few steps and reevaluate where you’ve been so that it gives you the courage to move forward.

In a sense, it makes you go, “I did that? I got through that?”

That’s the place where i’m in right now, just stuck in between two platforms (–blame this term on harry potter) between where I’ve been and where I plan to go.I’m just allowing myself to be led by Him. He knows what He’s doing anyway.

I’ve been revisiting my dreams as well, the ones I thought I chucked a long time ago. I can’t get into the details yet but I’ve had this dream in me for the past five years and God is finally giving it to me.

It’s wonderful. I’m at a good place and I honestly hope that you are too:)

XOXO:)

I’m watching Clarissa Explains It All on You-Tube. Ang cool ko noh? Haha. What a rockin’ social life I have.

Next stop: Arthur 🙂

I was haunted by people from my past last week. Everywhere I turned, there was someone who was linked to my past and I don’t think it’s such a bad thing.

It feels good to catch up with people whom you were in conflict with and just clear things or just recreate a new sort of friendship, one that is supposed to be better than the last.

So it’s good. Time heals everything or so they say. I’m very very optimistic 🙂

***

We just got good internet connection at home, highlight the world GOOD. We’ve had internet connection for the longest time but never this fast, so I’m expecting to be spending 24/7 infront of this thing, as if I haven’t killed my social life enough. ha ha ha.

***

Searching for a copy of TWLIGHT in the midst of pencil-pushing right now, so I’m broke until then end of August. It’s a self-proclaimed season of pencil-pushing so please be kind enough to lend me one

***

Enjoy the long weekend, I know I will. XOXO

This survey made me wish that I stayed in CSA for High School too. Haha 🙂

1. You know and memorize all (AND I MEAN ALL) school hymns, songs, pledges and blahblahs.
– Yes, I used to lead the Flag Ceremony pa. Aba, bata pa lang pa cute na. heehee 🙂

2. You have been to Treats and Glorietta with your friends.
– Of course. Where else would you be?

3. You memorized the whole Glorietta.
– I think there was a time that I did, but I never spent that much time in those places. Strict ang parents eh 🙂

4. You have walked from CSA to Treats and Glorietta and vice-versa.
– Not really… We took a taxi when we were in fifth grade. Big deal na yun syempre nung grade school ako kahit naman five minutes lang to get to Glorietta from CSA. haha 😀

5. You let your maids do your HELE projects
– Of course, there were a lot of yayas waiting in the canteen, o diba may recreation pa sila! 😀

6. You have more than five pic cards taken with Augustinian friends.
– Haha. YES. Nauso din neoprint. 😀

7. You roam around the campus during dismissal.
– Yes, lagi na lang second trip kahit wala namang gingawa kung hindi mang-stalk sa mga grade seven na crush 😀

8. CSA Bookstore is your “National Bookstore.”
– Of course… I don’t understand kung bakit laging madaming tao doon, laging fascinated sa bumili ng ballpen, id chain at kung ano ano pa. If my memory serves me right, I bought my first “love letter” card from there. ABA! Ang tagal ko pinag-isipan ang ibibigay ko! 😀

9. You know your school’s patron saint
– hello.

10. You know 20 facts about your school’s patron saint
– hehe… diba may cartoon ni st. augustin sa diary? Dyos ko pag bored ka wala ng gawin kung di basahin ang buhay niya. Hala, yun at yun na lang ang ginawa, o diba panalo?

11. You wear the required CSA rubber shoes
– Of course not. haha. ako pa 😀

12. You bring along your cameras, gizmos, and gadgets during special school events
– sorry ah, di pa uso digicam, ang uso lang eh yung bulky old school camera at 5110, Pag naka 6110 ka or 3210 mas cool ka pa sa cool 😀

13. You take pics of your Starbuck frapps
– Haha. Di pa nga ganun ka uso Starbucks nun and what’s up with that? OA.

14. You take pics of your Intrams shirts
– I think we did. Cool ata yun pero ang pangit ng class number ko eh!

15. You are VAIN
– That’s where my vanity started. haha! 😀

16. Timezone & Powerstation
– Timezone pa lang uso nun!

17. EGG & BACON
– Hmm… What’s the point? Uso na ba yan sa CSA now?

18. G4 is your 2nd HOME
– Di ako malakwasta eh, pero pag lumalabas kami doon lang ang kaya namin puntahan

19. You love your teachers.
– Sir Calado is that you?

20. You are friendly.
– Yes 🙂 Very friendly. 😀

21. It is one of your quarterly traditions to hit the mall with your pals after the last day of exams.
– Yes, naka-book na yan three months in advance. That’s what we look forward to, if not that then KC’s house or Daisy’s pool. haha 🙂

22. You can’t last a day without eating at the canteen/gym.
– Saan ka pa ba kakain? 😀

23. You have experienced the “AUGUSTINIAN INVASION”
– More than once 🙂

24. You wear jackets just for the sake of wearing ‘em
– Wala pang aircon nun so walang point! 😀

25. You have drunk in the CSA fountain.

– OO naman! hehe:)

26. You make “pahatid” to school the requirements you left at home.
– My mom never encouraged it kaya abuso sa bahay ni KC at Daisy. haha 🙂

27. When you make “pahatid,” you tell whoever to leave your project “kay Aling Clara” though she isn’t here anymore.
– Why don’t I remember Aling Clara? hehe:)

28. You call guards and janitors “kuya” or “ate.”
– Of course 🙂

29. You have attended a sportsfest.
– Yes naman 🙂

30. You have attended an Augustinian Family Mass
– OO ata.

31. You have brought your parents to school.
– Yes naman. Big deal din ang parents day. haha. May presentation ako lagi 😀

32. You have experienced riding the “Octopus.”
– Nah, was too much of a fraidy cat and sayang pera. hehe 😀

33. During one of your fairs, you decided to skip school and hit the mall with your pals instead.
– Wasn’t able to do it, but we were thinking it 😀

34. You have borrowed at least 10 books from the school library.
– Saan ulit yung library? Ay wait I remember na kung saan. Of course not, pumupunta lang ako doon pag nandoon si Alex Galang. haha:)

35. You or your class imitates your teachers’ lines, voice, actions, expressions, and God-knows-what. –
-of course FORTE ko yun! haha 🙂 I carried that habit!!!!!! Sa CSA pala galing yun!

36. You know at least 10 people from EVERY batch.
– yes. Feeling “popu” ako eh. haha 😉

37. You have watched a concert in CSA.
– Can’t remember. No ata.

38. Cheering is the year’s hottest event.
– Yes, ang hidden dream ko eh maging cheerleader pero sorry ka na lang kung para kang si free willy nung gradeschool

39. You have helped a teacher with her things.
– Once. 🙂

40. You have been inside the faculty room.
– Yes. I forgot the name of my midget math teacher…wait ayun si MS. VIBAL! We had to steal the notes she got from us kasi nakakahiya kaya ayun! 😀

41. You usually forget to bring your test folders or Bibles during the PT
– haha. major deal yung test folders na puro design, hindi na sumagot ng test dahil sa pag design ng folder na yan! hehe:)

42. You have used the PLDT payphones and the phone near the guardhouse.
– Naku, kung uso ang load ngayon, mas uso ang phonecard dati. Kahit wala kang tinatawagan hala sige gamit ng payphone feeling may boyfriend na taga-Ateneo or La Salle. Haha.

43. You usually make “shortcuts” to the names of places in school. examples: URDANETA: URDA.
– Yes naman 🙂

44. You have been checked up by the clinic
– yes:)

45. You have been sent home by the clinic.
– Nope:)

46. You have voted for the student government.
– Yeah.

47. You are aware of the school rules, but ain’t that scared to disobey some of ‘em
– of course, first year ko pa lang, ay naku, ang dami ko na na disobey!

48. You broke at least 5 school rules.
– More than five bebe!

49. You know by heart 10 school rules.
– Dati, ngayon, wala na sa memory ko! 🙂

50. You know “MANONG PHOTOGRAPHER” by face, but not by name (the one who has dark skin, wears eyeglasses, takes our class pics, and present in all convocations and special events on campus.)
– OF course, sumingit pa kami ng barkada pic noh, o diba cool si manong?

51. You are a party animal/lakwachera/lakwachero
Hindi eh, strict ang payrents ko!

52. You have stayed overnight on campus.
– No.

53. You recognize and greet the “ates” in the pic card booth.
– ano yun? di ko na maalala

54. You have been in CSA since Kinder.
– no, i was forever the “new student”

55. You know at least 5 people from St. Scho, Assumption, Ateneo, and La Salle.
– yes naman. 🙂

56. You are “in.” You know what’s hot and what’s not.
– haha… pag di ka in, di ka cool. so kailangan yun 🙂

57. You would send your future kids to CSA.
– Not really. Southville na lang :))

58. You have been fetched late more than 10 times.
– yes:)

59. You or your classmates manipulated your class clock to make subjects shorter
– Of course!! Grabe in sixth grade, we were punished and weren’t allowed to take recces kasi nahuli ng teacher! 😛 para naman kasi di obvious kaka dating pa lang niya, eh reccess na agad, hello!

60. You can be a model for the youth.
– HMM…. 😀

61. You are a born leader.
– was I ever a leader? I always evaded being a leader. haha 🙂

62. You are skilled in writing.
– We were trained to be skilled in writing! 😀

63. You are gifted with talents.
– In gradeschool, not really. :))

64. You belong to 5 or more than cliques/barkada/club/organization or whatsoever.
– hehe… yes 🙂

65. You consider your class your family.
– yeah, i miss 5H :((

66. Classes aren’t suspended yet, but you don’t go to school for it is raining really hard.
– haha. yes. kahit gusto ko pumasok, my mom wouldn’t let me! hehe 😀

67. You always “mano” from Father whenever you see him.
– I did that a few times lang. hehe ;D

68. You pay the clinic a visit just to sleep, rest, or whatever.
– Not really, ang layo kasi eh!

69. You go to the CR just to do… NOTHING..
– Hobby. I remember PE was right before recess which was right before English. So we’d take forever to shower, then eat henlin for almost forty five minutes and tsaka maisipan na mag class. parang optional magklase! haha 🙂

70. When you were younger, you used to scream when the bells rang.
– Di naman. OA.

71. You go straight the mall when classes get suspended
– Nope, was never allowed to! 😀

72. You scream like hell when classes are cancelled..
– Big Deal YUN! 😀

73. You have been teased by your class or teachers to someone of the opposite sex.
– OMG. PAOLO ROCES. IVAN PADILLA. KARLO MAGNO REYES. HAHA AND SUPER DAMI PA! Hobby sa CSA yan! 🙂

74. You go to school during Saturdays just to do nothing but roam around or search for people.
– Yung mga friends ko,oo, ako kasi walang care and usually di pinapayagan. hehe 😀

75. You go to school during Saturdays for practices, meetings, and school related stuff.
– Lagi may naka schedule but I never attend, bata palang anti-social na 😀

76. FAIR = FREEDOM.
– YES… SUPER SUPER SAYA 😀

77. You refer to lakwacha as “lakwa.”
– Yes 🙂

78. You collect Starbucks receipts, G4 movie tickets, and Timezone cards.
– When I was in CSA, di pa masayado uso starbucks. Ang starbucks pa lang nun yung sa Rustan’s Dasma. I discovered Starbucks because of KC. Once din lang ako nanunod ng movie doon kasi ang layo sa house, si KC din kasama ko, Blairwitch Project din. Timezone, padamihan yan 😀

79. You never fail to see an Augustinian whenever you cruise the mall.
– Ay correct! Lalo na pag last day of exams… Lahat na nakita, parang nilipat ang buong CSA sa glorietta! haha 🙂

80. YOU ARE A PROUD AUGUSTINIAN.
– It was good while it lasted 😀

You’re probably thinking: What is this chick doing with her life and why is she bombarding multiply with several blog entries in a span of an hour?

Well:

A) Because I’m bored

B) Because I’m so diligent that I’ve finished everything that I have to do and now there’s absoutely nothing left for me to do.

But the main reason is because I was going through my blog entries from 2006 and I realized that my recent blog entries lack the depth that they once had and that really made me sad. I lost my depth, would you believe? So I’m trying to regain my reputation by trying to type up something witty and life-altering (I have no idea if I’m actually reaching that goal)

In a way, I’m really grateful that I’m not as emotional as I used to be but at the same time, it made me realize just how much I’ve been through. How much I’ve survived in the past two years and how little credit I give myself.

Maybe it’s because I know that everything’s from God and it was HIS strength that made me overcome certain things in my life.

In a podcast, Joel Osteen mentioned something about thriving and not just surviving.

I guess that’s how I’ve been living my life lately. I guess, I’m not as emotionally attached to people and situations as I used to be. I’ve learned to let go easily because i know that if it’s not for me, what’s the point of running after it?

I guess this blog entry is one way of recognizing the good the Lord has done in my life and it fires this hope, hope that things will be better, way better than I ever imagined them to be 🙂

This entry is for my good friend, Daisy Castelar 🙂

I forgot to greet you on your birthday but I thought of you, how’s London?

The main reason I’m writing this entry is because I came across a three year old blog entry about us and our silly conversations: http://undecidedroyalty.blogspot.com/2005_03_01_archive.html

and you said something to me that still made me smile, three years later: you told me that “college would be your time to shine”. You were right, like you always are.

I miss you and I miss KC. You were the only person who understood me when I talked about her.

I hope everything’s good. You take care. I miss our senseless conversations 🙂

When was the last time you were told you were cute?
I really don’t care about those things 🙂

What was the last drink you had?
low-fat milk 🙂

Look at your recent calls, who was your last call from?
Jersey bo bersey

What is bothering you right now?
Ateneo GSB exam. Nerves nerves nerves 🙂

What does your last received text message say?
“okay”

Last place you went out to eat? Who with?
Conti’s with my family 🙂

When was the last time you were truly, completely happy with your life?
July 21, 2008 🙂 But I believe that day hasn’t come yet because everyday should be better than the last 🙂

What’re you doing tonight?
Harry Potter Book Six: Just so I wouldn’t keep going “who’s that again? what’s happening? What’s up with Dumbledore?” when the movie finally comes out (Dori, is that you?). And Medium. I’m running out of tv shows to watch. Geek.

When’s the next time you will see the person who absolutely takes your breath away?
I’m sorry I haven’t met that person yet unless Chace Crawford comes to the Philippines anytime soon or Shia Labeouf.

Where are your siblings?
Ate and Kuya: States. Carl: School.

Have you ever read an entire book in one day?
Yes :))

If you could have one person with you right now, who would it be?
Chace Crawford<33

Does anyone know your password besides you?
Nope 🙂

Do you look at the keyboard when you type?
Nope

How many serious relationships have you had?
Never been in a relationship 🙂

What are you most looking forward to tomorrow?
My outfit for work :))

Do you think your last ex deserves to die?
Not really. The world needs an example of what an individual shouldn’t be like, so in a way, he does the world good.

Last night, did you go to sleep smiling?
Yes:)

Did you have a good day yesterday?
It was pretty good 🙂

Was last New Years enjoyable?
It was Perfect 🙂

Do you still talk to the person you fell hardest for?
We just talk, we no longer have conversations 😀

How old is the first person on your top?
turning twenty four in two weeks!:)

Will you talk to the person you have a crush on tonight?
I’m in between crushes right now 😀

What is your MySpace song?
My myspace account has been hi-jacked for no apparent reason so its still playing this really old alicia keys song. I miss my myspace account!damnit!

What is your current mood?

Bored and sleepy. 🙂

What else is new right now?
Absolutely Nothing.

What color shirt are you wearing?
White

What are you looking forward to in the next three months?
Hongkong and Ateneo: whichever comes first 🙂

Are you Irish in any way?
Darn, I wish:((

When was the last time you got a good workout?
YESTERDAY 😀

Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?
Not really.

Have your parents ever caught you drinking?
My parents allow me to drink 🙂

Do you love the last boy/girl you were talking to?
Of course 🙂 I hardly talk to people I don’t love 🙂

Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
no 🙂

What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
Working. Working. Working. Paper work. Paper work 🙂

Last restaurant you went to?
Conti’s

Did you have anything exciting last weekend?
Every weekend is exciting 🙂

Have you ever crawled through a window?
I think I have for CAT when I was an HS senior. haha 🙂

What do you spend most of your money on?
Food, Clothes and books.

Do you like yourself?
I don’t just LIKE myself. I LOVE myself. If I didn’t, who else would?

What’s something that can always make you feel better?
Working out. STARBUCKS. CONTI’S. Laughing with my friends. Chocolates. A good movie 🙂

Did your parents spoil you as a child?
Yes, but I was never a brat 🙂

Do you still have pictures of you & your ex?
No ex to speak of, but if you mean the guys I used to “like” then no, I don’t even take pictures with them.

How’s your heart lately?
My heart’s at rest: no drama, no complications. It’s being taken care of. Naks! 😀

Will this weekend be a good one?
Why wouldn’t it be? besides, i’m waiting for a surprise! 😀

Have you ever gone nude/streaked in public?
Of course not!

Who hugged you last?
Rose 🙂

Have you ever worn the opposite sex’s clothing?
Yup.

What is your relationship status?
married. ha ha ha 😀

Who was the last person to come to your house?
Pipay 🙂

Look behind you, what do you see?
A wall.

Any summer plans for 2009?
I’ll still be working, but I hope I can visit a beach even for just three days!!! I need to schedule my leave this early on. haha 😀

What’s on your schedule for tomorrow?
Do you really want to see my to-do list? It’s dangerous! 😀

The last song you heard?
Superhuman 😀

Do you still talk to any of your ex’s?
Refer to the “fallen for the hardest” question.

If you had to eat 1 thing for the rest of your life, what?
pasta. good ol’ pasta 🙂

When was the last time you talked to your number 1?
my number one?! 🙂 haha. who is my number one? I miss him 🙁
Better question: Who used to be my number one?

Have you dated anyone on your top 4?
naaah 🙂

Has your number 1 on your friends ever made you cry?
He did make me cry more times than I let him know :((

Do you eat junk food everyday?
Used to! It’s so hard to eliminate it from my system. I’m craving for NOVA right now. Darn.

Describe your bestfriend?
truly the best 🙂

How did you and your number 2 become friends?
He’s my brother! 😀

How late did you stay up last night and why?
10 PM. I’m a creature of habit.

What’s the connection between you and the last person you texted?
Workmate 🙂

Do you like someone?
Nah. In between crushes 🙂

Have you ever been hit by the opposite sex?
Yes. In fifth grade, I used to wrestle with boys when i was in gradeschool 🙂

Have you ever kissed someone whose name started with an S?
NOOO

How’s your life lately?
Beautiful 🙂

Whose bed did you sleep in last night?
Mine.

Do you miss anyone?
Yes, this survey made me miss my used to be number one :((

Is there one place you’d like to visit?
ireland 🙂

Have you held hands with anyone today?
nopppee 🙂

You must be wondering why I’ve been relentlessly bombarding my multiply account with tagolog entries, I don’t know maybe it’s because I’m so tired of writing reports in English or maybe because I find it a challenge to write in Tagalog simply because my officemates say that I cannot write one to save my life and parang mas may impact pag Tagalog eh, so sue me.

So kamusta na si Carla-kay? ay thank God, hindi na siya ganun ka drama.

I’ve been having a good week. The Lord has been good. Over the weekend, I had a conversation with someone with who I had an argument with two years ago and this is something that I would never admit to him but our conversation haunted me.

Ewan ko anong tawag doon, but I think I was caught in a time warp. Mahirap din pala pag walang closure, kasi after two years, kahit naka-move on ka na, may issues parin kasi nga walang closure. That made sense, I know that did.

I was haunted mainly because old issues resurfaced and I got into thinking that I never truly moved on from my old self and my old weaknesses. I got scared and it forced me to reevaluate myself and my actions.

Then I realized that God is still in the process of changing me. I’m grateful that I’m not the same as I was two years ago but I’m not perfect yet. I’m happy with who I am now because I know that even though I have weaknesses, its okay because God’s power works best in our weakness. That’s not an excuse but that means that I don’t have to beat myself up every single time. *So much for writing this entry in tagalog.

Masaya na ako ngayon… Naka move on na si Carla-kay. Slowly but surely, I’m learning to rely on myself alone to make myself happy. It’s not being selfish pero I’ve given myself the freedom to feel good about myself even without someone special or significant. Ngayon ko lang narealize na kung hindi niya ako napapasaya, then why include him in my life, diba? An old song says, “love doesn’t have to hurt”

My baby brother got his heart broken yesterday and being the protective older sister that I am, I wanted to take the hurt away from him just because I know how much it sucks (I also wanted to torture the people who broke his heart but of course, I couldn’t). But then again, I know that he needs this hurt in order to mature (God knows I was a hurt more than a few times before learning anything of significance) but I wish that it wouldn’t hurt that much, it pains me to know the amount of hurt he’s enduring.

Good thing that he has a sister who has so much experience in this area. Yun siguro yung dahilan kung bakit ang dami nag break ng heart ko. Haha. To serve this purpose.

Masaya maging masaya. I’m telling you that. So if you have the chance to be happy: GRAB IT. 🙂

Masaya na walang baggage. 🙂

xoxo

*The Entry to prove na magaling din ako magtagalog and hindi ako bulol.

http://www.whateverlife.com” target=”_blank” alt=”From Whateverlife.com!”>http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v221/ashbernie311/Bre/bre2/qb9.gif” border=”1″ />

Honestly, sobrang na-oa na ako sa sarili ko.

Wala akong ginawa kung hindi tignan ang phone ko every morning and maging sad dahil wala lang.

Sayang naman ang pag download ko ng mga Joel Osteen Podcast araw araw dahil wala lang, di ko lang feel maging happy. Kung meron akong na-realize sa six months ko sa Southville yun ay ang walang makakapagpasaya sayo kung hindi rin ang sarili mo.

Pag umasa ka sa iba, talo ka, dahil ang ibang tao hindi nga nila kaya pasayahian ang sarili nila yung ibang tao pa kaya mapasaya nila.

Lahat ng tao may issues, sabi nga ni John Maxwell, “Remember, everyone you come in contact with is fighting a battle” kaya dapat itigil ko na ang pag-iilusyon ko na ibang tao ang makakapag pasaya sa akin.

Dapat din ata ipaala ko sa sarili ko na ang mga boys na walang direkyson ay yun na: walang direksyon. Ung mga tipong ayaw mag aral dahil wala lang, feeling cute sila.

Hindi na uso ang love lang ngayon.

Another thing I learned: Ang mga lalake egoistic parin. Mag text ka lang feeling na nila hinahabol mo na sila, eh nag reply ka lang naman sa tanong niya. So what’s the point, darling?

At eto pa, aside from Nolan, a guy and girl hindi ba puwedeng maging friends lang? Pag ni-reject ba ang guy eh hindi na puwede maging friends? Dude, you’re like so feeling naman. 😀

I lost my sense of self for awhile (sorry, di ko masabi sa tagalog)

Pero ay nakakapagod to be someone you’re not. Nag feeling Serena Van Woodsen kasi ako for awhile, feeling ko kaya ko to do what she does, pero sorry Blair Waldorf ata ako minus the Chuck part.

I’m a boring girl. I don’t go to clubs every weekend, I go to coffee shops and movie houses. The only time you can drag me out of the house to go to those things is kung birthday ng very special at very dear ko na friend, pero kung hindi, ay magbabasa na lang ako ng Harry Potter for life.

Siguro, part ng quarter life crisis ko ay ang pag accept na hindi ako ganun at ang prince charming ko dapat straight up din. Siguro nga masaydo akong control freak, gusto ko lahat ng bagay naka pattern sa idealisms ko.

Mali man or tama, that’s who I am at this point in time, puwedeng magbago bukas or tonight, but that’s who I am now.

Parang si Kate Bosworth nung na realize niya na over na talaga sila ni Orlando Bloom that’s the time she moved on. Aba, feeling Kate Bosworth na ko. I’ve been to the moon and back, I want to start over.

I guess ang hindi ko talaga ma-accept is the fact that I stepped out of my perfectly planned life and did something totally out of character (again, di ko masabi sa tagalog na ganun din ang impact). Siguro nga obsessive-compulsive talaga ako dahil gusto ko ibalik ang dati and iaayos ang lahat, kaya lang hindi nga ganun yun. Di ko ma explain sa sarili ko na: you live and learn. What happened was a little sacrifice compared to what I got out of it.

Ang point naman talaga ng entry na eto ay eto: PAGOD NA AKONG MAGDRAMA, NAKAKASAWA. OA NA. SOBRA NA. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.

So i’m grateful, grateful to my friends, my family and my job (yes, i love my rigorous job. i love it more than anything in the world. my job is my boyfriend). I love my officemates na mas lokarete pa sakin.

I’m back to being Carla, the geek, the boring girl but at least I’m happy and content. Matagal na panahon narin ako na hindi na-content so I’m good now. Nakakapagod maging Drama Queen. Please Lang.

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