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My Long Overdue Birthday Blog Entry



*Today, I am 19 years old and one week. Heehee.

Allow me to be nostalgic ab out two things:

1) This is my last “teen” birthday

2) This is the last time that I’d spend it in school (graduate school doesn’t really count!!)

I cannot believe how quick my 18th year passed me by. In one spectrum, it was indeed quick, while in another it went on for too long. So I’m scratching my expectations for this year. I have goals and my to-do list but that’s just about it.

My birthday this year was amazingly simply because I’ve reconnected with people and reformed tattered relationships.

There’s a sweet satisfaction in that because I’ve been praying for peace above all things to come into my life and that was answered. The strong assertion allows my heart to hope for better things ahead (hope not expect! Haha)

Indeed, the best things in life are free because all the best gifts I recieved this year were all intangible.

Maturity may be found in the imagninary little box of trinkets but I dare to be thankful for the strength bestowed upon me in my 18th year.

God is truly good!

There’s nothing more beautiful than spending another year of my life with my family and friends.

***

On a lighter note, I though of how wonderful that birthday was over hotdogs, coffee (quickly shakes are the best), puto from good friends and coffee caramel cake from Red Ribbon.

I’ve never been more satisfied!!!

***

Thanks to all of you who remembered! My 0920 number is still inactive and my globe number got stolen!! If you greeted me in either of those numbers. Thanks a lot!!!!

***

Happy bithday CHICHII!!!!!
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song in my head

“There was a time I packed my dreams away
Living in a shell, hiding from myself
There was a time when I was so afraid
I thought I’d reached the end
Baby that was then
But I am made of more than my yesterdays
My fears behind me, gone are the shadows and doubts
That was then, this is my now.
Had to decide was I gonna play it safe
Or look somewhere deep inside
and try to turn the tide
Find the strength to take that step of faith
And I have the courage like never before, yeah
I’ve settled for less but ready for more”
***

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Scars Loose

I’m really really trying to not be a drama queen anymore. It takes too much energy and as advised by this really cool writer, Francesca Ayala from the Philippine’s Star Young Star Section (out every Friday) people are not drawn to heavy articles.

I want people to read my blog and be enlightened. Not have a scurry on thier faces after reading my entries.

As I’ve said, I am really really trying.

So this may be the beginning of my “lighter” entry while trying to evoke the experience that caused me to write the said article. (Words of Wisdom from Ms. Ayala again)

I have begun rereading, “Purpose Driven Life” again due to the fact that I’ve been trying hard to eradicate all the negativity in my body and trying to fill it with forgivness.

Well, I guess I have forgiven myself already and the people part of my past now, but there are still tinges somewhere in my nervous system.

I have no idea if it’s because of my medications but then again, anything to write about.

That’s when I realized that I still have a couple of scars loose within me.

I mean the band aid’s long gone and it no longer hurts like hell, but it cringes every once in awhile. Like whe it’s reminded of what caused it.

I guess primarily it’s because those scars lost a part of my dream world.

You know it’s like being one of barney’s playmates and finding out that he’s NOT EVEN REAL. *gasp*

That’s what I am going through right now.

Lost because Barney doesn’t exsist.

It’s kindda hard to actually thread them one by one, but I guess the main point of this entry is saying that even if one have scars loose (as most of us do) that doesn’t make us any uglier or any more diminished, so to speak.

Remember this story:

“Once upon a time there was this big piece of rock living peacefully on a mountaintop. One day she gets transported far far away, all of a sudden she recieves multiple blows around her body. She’s hurt really bad, bruised and hurt. The beating continues without her knowing why. It just goes on and on. Suddenly, it all stops. Then one day. people start to look at her, they stop and stare, she’s begins to wonder why. One day they were two workers carrying a mirror. The rock finally saw her reflection and saw that she was not a beautiful statue”

Wow.

I mean, I’ve been struggling for words but I hope this makes out what I am trying to say.

If you’ve had those nasty scars with you, I’m really praying you’d find peace soon and magnify its purpose in your life.

That exactly is what I’m praying for myself too.

Stand up from all those hurt and move on.

Be the wonderful statue that God intended you to be.


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What’s That AGAIN?????

I try real hard not to obsess about certain things, especially things that are filtered by the media or something that someone else is obsessed about.

Media may not be the main reason for a specific obsession but then again that’s a whole other argument.

I am pissed primarily because every single turn in school has someone waiting for me to say, “you’re gaining so much weight”

How do I respond to this?

“I really really want to grind you to dust”

Of course being the goody two shoes that I am, I ignored the comment and just smiled, the subsequent events, I seriously just wanted to slash people.

It’s Carrie all over again!

I mean, why do they really care if I gained weight? It’s me that has to face the mirror everyday and fit into my jeans.

And I do fit into the jeans that I bought a year ago and I do like what I see in the mirror everyday so

WHY THE HELL DO THEY CARE??????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*SIGH*

It’s too pathetic even to think of.

There are other issues in the world and it would be a better place if people would rather think of feeding food to the hungry than starve themselves so people would say, “Oh my ang payat mo na”

Gag, trust me they would be the first people who would say, “Tumaba ka”

I just people would just shut up.

If someone can answer why people care too much, I am treating that person to a Smacker.

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Silly can be interesting or just a really good boredom buster: CANCER: THE CUTIE(??)

SCORPIO – The Addict
Extremely adorable. Intelligent. Loves to joke. Very good sense of humour. Energetic. Predict future. Great kisser. Always get what they want. Attractive. Easy going. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Romantic. Caring. 4 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

VIRGO – The One that Waits
Dominant in relationships. Someone loves them right now. Always wants the last word. Caring. Smart. Loud. Loyal. Easy to talk to. Everything you ever wanted. Easy to please. The one and only. 7 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

LIBRA – The Lame One
Nice to everyone they meet. Their love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever meet. However not the kind of person you wanna mess with … you might end up crying… 9 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

ARIES – The Liar
Outgoing. Lovable. Spontaneous. Not one to mess with. Funny. Excellent kisser. Extremely adorable. Loves relationships, Addictive. Loud. 16 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

AQUARIUS – The One that Does It In The Water
Trustworthy. Attractive. Great kisser. One of a kind. Loves being in long-term relationships. Extremely energetic. Unpredictable. Will exceed your expectations. Not a Fighter, but will knock your lights out. 2 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

GEMINI – The Irresistible
Nice. Love is one of a kind. Great listeners. Very good in the you know where… Lover not a fighter, but will still knock you out. Trustworthy. Always happy. Loud. Talkative. Outgoing Very forgiving. Loves to make out. Has a beautiful smile. Generous. Strong. The most irresistible. 9 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

LEO – The Lion
Great talker. Attractive and passionate. Laid back. Knows how to have fun. Is really good at almost anything. Great kisser. Unpredictable. Outgoing. Down to earth. Addictive. Attractive. Loud. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Not one to mess with. Rare to find. Good when found. 7 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

CANCER – The Cutie
Most amazing kisser. Very high appeal. Love is one of a kind. Very romantic. Most caring person you will ever meet. Entirely creative. Extremely random and proud of it. Freak. Spontaneous. Great telling stories. Not a fighter, but will knock your lights out if it comes down to it. Someone you should hold on to. 12 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

PISCES – The Partner for Life
Caring and kind. Smart. Center of attention. High appeal. Has the last word. Good to find, hard to keep. Fun to be around. Extremely weird but in a good way. Good Sense of Humor. Thoughtful. Always gets what he or she wants. Loves to joke. Very popular. Silly, fun and sweet. 5 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

CAPRICORN – The Passionate Lover
Love to bust. Nice. Sassy. Intelligent. Sexy. Predict future. Irresistible. Loves being in long relationships. Great talker. Always gets what he or she wants. Cool. Loves to own Gemini’s in sports. Extremely fun. Loves to joke. Smart. 24 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

TAURUS – The Tramp
Aggressive. Loves being in long relationships. Likes to give a good fight for what they want. Extremely outgoing. Loves to help people in times of need. Good kisser. Good personality. Stubborn. A caring person. One of a kind. Not one to mess with. Are the most attractive people on earth. 15 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

SAGITTARIUS – The Promiscuous One

Spontaneous. High appeal. Rare to find. Great when found. Loves being in long relationships. So much love to give. Not one to mess with. Very pretty. Very romantic. Nice to everyone They meet. Their love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever meet! Amazing in the you know where.. Not the kind of person you wanna mess with- you might end up crying.

***
From Daisy’s Site.:))

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Tidbits of the week

Before I start, I would just like to say THANK YOU TO CHI CHI!!!!!

We have such a great way of “connecting”. 🙂

I swear it’s not everyday where you find a friend who would text the same message at the same time without even knowing it. Gad chi, we have that connection. I love you so much!!!:)

***

Wentworth Miller’s GAY.

???

What is wrong with the world?!

***

Who the heck wants to go to a spa near the mouth of a volcano??!!!!!

***

RODDICK RODDICK RODDICK!!!!!

***

I’m really happy to get an advice from someone whose writings I admire so much!!

***

There are still good people in the world. There’s still hope for all humanity.

***

Read The Solitaire Mystery.

It makes you think, smile and wonder:)

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Growing into “everything”


I’ve been wanting to write about the recent events in my life but never got around to doing it. I just never seem to find an appropriate place to sit down and think of what has been happening in my life. I also haven’t had the inspiration to just sit down and weed out the thoughts one by one.

I was also too busy relishing the thoughts of new questions and answers forming in my head.

One cliche says: “Everything happens for a reason”. It’s the most commonly used and abused. And I believed in it with every fiber of my being. There’s a cosmic and spiritual reason somewhere.

I believed in it but that doesn’t mean that I knew what it meant.

When you’re 15 years old and wide eyed about life, you always think that “everything” encompasses failed quizzes, missed tv shows, unrequited love and being out of place in a cliche that you’ve always wanted to be part of (so sweet valley jr high).

For me, those were all the issues of life and nothing more.

Four years later, life showed me the real meaning of everything.

A good friend of mine who complains as much as I do about life advised me that giving up is never the answer to everything. That was my main theory in life. She debunked my 18 years of belief in three short text messages.

Being an adult doesn’t entitle us to run away which was how i’ve been approaching my life. Running away from “everything” is simply not a possibility anymore.

Facing the realities of everything to me was by curling up in a couch, eating sunflower’s strawberry crackers and watching Grey’s Anatomy and Others in a ratty pair of boxer shorts that I got five years ago. For me figuring out Meredith’s life is way better than facing my own dilemmas.
But the summer and my days in solitude and seclusion has allowed me to get up from my comfortable couch and let go of the feeling of fear.
Ironically, I realize that it’s more comforting to go out everyday and enjoy the sun rather than hide hide and hide even more.
At the end of the day, it’s more fulfilling.
I have no idea if I am growing up in a weird sense or it’s just the birthday fever kicking in. Either way, life’s good.
And from what I heard from the twentysomethings it only gets better.
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Being Like Dad

“Carla, your TV’s too loud! What are you deaf?” professes my 48 year old dad while I am trying to listen and integrate into my life the wise words of Angelina Jolie. He comes to my room and shuts the door (in a very mild manner) to show just how loud my TV is.

I tone down the volume and open my door (or else, I will die from the heat that this country has been penalized with). Everyone’s happy.

Ten minutes later a cry is heard, “DADDDDYYYY!! I can’t hear Angelina Jolie talk about SHILOH!!!!” and it’s my turn to run to their room and try to shut the door.

This continues on until my mom jolts awake and asks the both of us to keep quiet- she was the main reason for the volume fight.

Dad and I make up after five minutes. We end up jolting down the famous Brazo De Mercedes (I swear to you it’s HEAVENLY. Email me if you want to know the details) and satisfy our sweet tooth but end up fighting again after five minutes because we grew tired of teasing each other because our tummy has grown to enormous proportions. It’s like having a baby Brazo de Mercedes inside of us.

Our rib cages are protruding but our tummies? Hell no. After eating anything carbo loaded and sweet, it grows like a bowling ball.

Hilarious? I don’t think so.

Then, we talk about latest movies, the box office, Obama vs. Clinton, latest gadgets and how we can lose that darn tummy.

He is also the only person who can call me “Bachi” on account of my past heavy days (not just the tummy darling).

To my dad, I’d always be the six year old girl who wouldn’t get invited to join games like Doctor Quack Quack and Coconut-nut game (remember the song?) because I was too heavy. I was also made “it” because I could never run fast enough to save my life.
My dad has witnessed every single event that has happened in my life and I am blessed to have that stability.

Strangely enough, to me, he would always remain that 35 year old basketball player, an image of a really old picture of his pops into my mind.

My dad would also be “mighty man”, “superman”, “batman” and “Gordon Bombay” to me. He’d always be my hero and the guy that I would benchmark all the other guys who come into my life to.

He’d be the perfect example and a voice that I would always be hearing when it comes to making choices in life.

Another odd thing is the fact that my dad and I are more alike in more ways than I could ever admit.

We both loving reading the newspaper all morning long (which is quite impossible)

We both love SWEETS

We both have that ahem “dry” sense of humor

We’d always be forgiving and less judgmental than we should be

We can spend 24/7 watching TV
We get absorbed in our problems, keep it to ourselves and would not even give a hint as to what is going on.

We smile ALL THE TIME and the littlest jokes make us laugh

We are both gifted with really bad dancing skills

We order the same thing in the same restaurant

Our noses would forever be buried in a book

We love talking about gadgets that my mom would NEVER let us buy.

That’s how crazy the realization is. Most girls would like to admit that they’re more like their moms and that their dads just don’t get it.

Well, I’d have to say 50-50. There are some things that my dad would get, and some things that my mom would.

But that’s a good thing because I get to look at both sides of the story.

But that’s another blog post all together.

In tribute to Father’s Day, I would just like to say how wonderful my life is because he’s here with me. How much I’ve grown stronger because he told me that’s the only way to get through life and how he told me to enjoy the moment and worry about tomorrow, tomorrow and not waste a single moment over analyzing things.

And though I may never admit this to him, he has showed me what to look for in a man.

My dad may be a man of few words, but he doesn’t need a thousand because in his actions alone, he has taught me more than I should know.

I LOVE YOU DADDY! YOU ARE THE BEST!
Now, let me watch Tyra.

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GUILTY PLEASURES

*Reading books that are meant for high school girls or junior high girls.
*Singing and Dancing to Hilary Duff videos.
*Watching The Suite Life of Zach and Cody.
*Sneaking a bite of Brazo de Mercedes when I think no one is looking.
*Unlimited Texting.
*Watching reruns of What I Like About You.
*

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Getting saved by one of my oldest friends


Daisy and I have a crazy of keeping in touch and that’s through the horror of teenage life (which is something that we would have to leave soon *sniff*), new books, occasionally fashion but more often than not ONE TREE HILL (the constant Lucas and Nathan debate has stood the test of time). But most of the time, thanks to globe unlimited we are able to simply bitch about life and get a quirky response from each other. It’s like playing tennis, only better, because you can do it while watching E! or something like that.





Also her blog supplies me with unlimited supplies of bloggerings like the one in this entry and that is just plain terrific.


Anyway, Wednesday night was comforting for me because of her and what she said about what I was ranting about. I’d rather not divulge the reason mainly because I have forgotten what it was. But it did hurt at that time.

So anyway, allow me to share with you the conversation we had that night to fully explain just how wonderful she is.

Me: (after she asks how I am) “Bett-er! I decided that I gave it a try and it wasn’t what I was
hoping for, I guess it’ll come at the right time. I’d rather move on. But that doesn’t help it from being sucky, reality bites:p”

Daisy: “I know right.. But the sooner we accept reality, the sooner life will move on for us”

We probably exchanged more text messages after that but I may have probably deleted it but I did save the best one that we did exchange that night.

Daisy: “Let’s just chill for now. Savor life and all that it gives- the good and the bad”

Me: (finally gaining perspective) “True. Maybe we just don’t sit down and savor it. We’re too afraid to enjoy because we’re afraid to get hurt”

***
We move on to smarter things like the Lucas and Nathan debate or did we just run out of credits? I just couldn’t remember.

Daisy is truly the sweetest person around. I know most people our age would think that being friends mean that you should be together 24/7 and have a million and one pictures posted on our friendster, myspace, multiply and whatever website is popular right now.

But Dais and I have been through that and I must admit, we’re past that.

As cheesy as it may sound, we are now the type of friends who would be able to go on days and months without texting, calling or pretty much communicating but still find it easy to talk and talk and talk.

***

Thanks girl for listening to me vent last night, I’m in a much better state now.:)

Let’s go and take more risks:) And what’s written in your blog is true, time just numbs the pain. :)) I still miss her as much as you do. But you know what? She’d be proud of us, because through it all, we’re still, in a way the same.

The giggling fifth graders in a taxi, afraid to get caught.

I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!