Author: admin

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The vice of my life.

This article may actually betray my first vice: coffee.

(But, the dear love of my past life, all good things must come to an end and I’m afraid that our relationship is going down the drain. I am just not allowed to have you in my life and with that we just have to deal. *sniff*)

So, instead of sulking, I decided to refocus my energies on the next best thing: television.

When ever I take a cup of coffee, I always had my handy notebook or an exciting book with me and I am just taken away for hours, just daydreaming and relaxing. (That’s probably the reason why I consume three in just one sitting).

It’s my vice in the sense that it allows me to stop in the middle of the day and just breathe life in.

That was how powerful coffee was for me. Pretty lame but it can create miraculous things.

BUT, I am not talking about that right now but instead I am going to write about my life as a TV addict.

Yes addicted to it.

Since I’m pretty much a homebody, the TV has been my best pal since I was seven.

Or six.

I really can’t remember, all I know is that I loved Arthur, Little Mary Lamb Chops and Little Lulu. I think that’s where it started.

Or the days that my dad and I would watch Mighty Ducks all day long.

So anyway, the couch potato life is actually the good life. It replaces my addiction to coffee because it does take me away from (the sometimes harsh!) reality and allow me to either be a tomboy who became an unconventional heartthrob, girl detective, the most popular girl in school, the popular girl with designer clothes and the tutor girl who falls in love with a jock.

I’ve also been the thirty something woman who sounded like she had nasal decongestion who once became a nanny and after a couple of years off the air, fell in love with a younger man.

Or be indestructible. Or have a dr. Jekyll and Hyde personality (hmm, I know someone who comes close).
Or be a surgeon. McSteammy!!!

I was also stuck in the 60s, trying to fight a war and a girl who was assigned by God to save the world and most of all myself.

Or have the map of a prison tattoed on my body.

It may sound really pathetic but watching those TV shows really allow me to reflect things in my life. Aside from the fact that they make me really happy.

Without these shows, I would not be able to know who to choose between McSteamy and McDreamy!

And that decision may change my life.

Seriously!!

Kidding aside, life is truly more colorful these days because of that addiction and I tell you not all addictions can be considered healthy.

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Life strikes… AGAIN

“If you could change one moment in your life, would you? If you do, will it make your life better or will it ultimately break your heart or the heart of another?” -One Tree Hill

“What’s worse? New wounds that are so horribly painful or old wounds that should have healed years ago but never did? Maybe our old wounds teach us something. They remind us where we’ve been and what we’ve overcome. They teach us lessons as to what to avoid in the future. But sometimes that never really happens, some lessons we have to learn over and over again” -Grey’s Anatomy


“You were born to overcome! The devil may have hit you with his best, but his best is never good enough!” -Joel Osteen

As you can see from the quotes that well, life ain’t all that glee this past week.

I know this is one of those days and one of those trials that one day you’d look back to and say, “Glad I got over that one.”

It’s great to think of the future and how things would be replaced by good things once all of the ugly is over.

But of course at this very moment, I have a throbbing head, my heart rate is still not back to its normal rate and the heat’s killing me.

But still, I refuse to cave in.

Life momentarily sucks right now, but I know that it gets better from here.

There are worst things to worry about in this world like the latest war in Lebanon and the solution to end world hunger is still unknown despite the many dollars spent and ambassadors being appointed.

I am so sad that I can’t even get my political facts straight.

***

Daisy and I were just texting about how totally unfair the world is and how we never learn.

I hope that our recent experiences would make us turn our backs on the whole drama that consumated our very insignificant lovelives.

Not that is all we care about, for one thing daisy’s into running her shops lately (do visit Souiler if you’re in galleria or alabang) and I’ve been trying to learn more things and try to at least help a few more people in my own little way.

***

I’m not totally being self righteous in saying this but:

If you haven’t read Your Best Life Now you BETTER READ IT!

It really changed my life and how I look at it.

I may be really sad now due to the countless things that has happened in the past week, but I’m still smiling.

You should have met me waay before I read that book. I was such a crappy person to be with when I was in one of those moods, I couldn’t laugh or enjoy anything because I was so caught up in my “world” and “me” time.

I felt at that time that if something was wrong in my life, I could no longer pick myself up and laugh.

I was such a dramaqueen that everyone chose to stay away.

But now, things are different.

I’m stronger and I know that after all this, The Lord will replace it with something wonderful for me and my family.

Most especially for my family.

If you’re happy right now, I’m happy for you too, but if you’re in a sullen mood, I sympathize with you.

Just pray.

As a friend of mine said earlier, “Just pray, you can get everything you seek if you do”

Just as long as it doesn’t injure anyone then I guess that’s fine. Hahaha.

Have a great week ahead. God is good!

- admin Leave a comment

Songs that exactly describe my life right now

HAPPY

I understand why you’re looking for tears in my eyes

Trust me they were there but now the well has been dried

I was in so deep but couldn’t get out

I sat on feelings I buried deep down

I knew there come a day when all eyes would cross

And glad its today cause now I am strong

I’m happy and I can thank myself

If it were up to you

I’d be in my bed crying

But I’m happy and I know that makes you sad

After all the things you put me through

I’m finally getting over you

There is a reason why we met, I’m glad that we did

I got back a part of me I really missed

They say you that you brought me down all the time

All the bitterness has passed

And I only wish you

Someone who could do what I can’t

BIG GIRLS DON’T CRY

Da Da Da Da
The smell of your skin lingers on me now
Your probably on your flight back to your home town
I need some shelter of my own protection baby
To be with myself instead of calamity
Peace, Serenity

hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It’s personal, Myself and I
We’ve got some straightenin’ out to do
And I’m gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But Ive got to get a move on with my life
Its time to be a big girl now
And big girls don’t cry

The path that I’m walking
I must go alone
I must take the baby steps until
I’m full grown
Fairytales don’t always have a happy ending, do they
And I foresee the dark ahead if I stay

Like the little school mate in the school yard
We’ll play jacks and uno cards
Ill be your best friend and you’ll be mine
Valentine
Yes you can hold my hand if u want to
Cause I want to hold yours too
Well be playmates and lovers and share our secret worlds
But its time for me to go home
Its getting late, dark outside

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OH LA LA POLITICS

I must admit that the election process in itself is pretty okay as of now. You know I guess it’s really normal for it to takes days, days, days and there’s nothing major going about cheating blah…or maybe I said that too soon.

I just hope that the violence would end. That’s really the purpose of this entry.

Yes, I do have a couple of thoughts as to their campaign and the reason why they’re killing and spending so much on a position that would pay less than 50,000 pesos.

But, I might be attacked with “you don’t know what you’re talking about” comments, so nevermind.

I just really pray for peace and end to senseless killings, that really doesn’t put our country in a good light or improve poverty, our economic position..

I guess you get the point.

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A few things I saved in my phone but has forgotten about

Sent to my bestfriend, Joray:

“I’m smiling best from ear to ear and my heart’s dancing”

Saved while waiting for my doctor:

The Hole

It used to be negative and something that’s never ever to be mentioned.

But today it’s simply the place where one can rest and not worry about life’s nothingness.

A place just to relax and feel comfortable without a hint of worry.

Easier said than done because one is too busy with so many things to do and to think of.

Because of that it’s harder to enter that place simply because one doesn’t have the time.

Saved after watching Mighty Ducks for the nth time:

We all wish to experience the same magnificent feeling again- to discover something that can never be recreated again.
It may be the same place, may even be of the same day but never ever the same wonder.

Saved while watching a game:

Silently Watching
Silently Listening
Just wishing that it would just all go away
Sometimes I can’t explain why it’s still here with us both knowing that the wind has already taken it away.
Without a doubt that was definitely the end but my heart just won’t stop this crazy pilgrimage of intense insanity.
It continues to hope that it would all be explained soon.
Hoping that the madness that I felt has a reason of some sortThat someday it would all unravel and our first would definitely be our last.

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When do we really deserve what we want?

When we were younger, we would only be able to be given the “Baby All Gone” doll only when we get high grades or win a spelling bee or something.
Achievement would make us deserve that doll because that’s what we wanted.

As you grow older, one would only deserve to be on varsity team if one has “special talent”, that’s the only requisite, however if you “worked hard” you would deserve to be on the team as well.

A basketball team deserves to win if they put their heart in the game.

Maybe in those specific circumstances, one may actually have to work to deserve something.

But, what about the other things in life?

Like friends.
Like attention from your parents.
Like respect from your peers
Or that special person

When it comes to these things you always question “Do I really deserve it?” One always asks if they’re good enough to actually deserve what they have.

If one has a million and one friend, they go thinking, “Why do I have all them?”

Or when one has the perfect parents, they leave it all to luck.

Somehow friends and family are easily digested rather than having that perfect dream person in our lives.

The person we’ve waited our whole lives to have.

When that happens to us we somehow think, “What have I done to have this person in my life?”

Which I think is the craziest thing ever.

Primarily because we think less of ourselves and never think that “we deserve it”.

What is truly the measure of deserving something? Or Someone?

Do beauty queens and supermodels deserve more than “normal” girls?

Is our lack of faith in ourselves connects to our belief in Santa Clause?

You do remember the Naughty and Nice list right?

I think that’s a totally foreign idea especially to adults.

We should somehow learn to grow up, but don’t be coming after me for advice on how to grow up simply because I’m often lost in the rules of that phase as well.

Anyway, back to the purpose of this entry.

When oh when do we deserve what we want?

When can we own something or someone and not feel like it’s going to go away simply because we don’t deserve it.

I really hope that people would stop thinking that way.

When it comes to things that we really can’t buy or work hard for we often push it away subconsciously because we’re too afraid that we don’t deserve it.

I guess this may explain a couple of things about life and our choices.

So, you, whoever you are nice enough to read my blog need to make a choice today- I just want to tell you that you deserve it.

- admin Leave a comment

HAPPINESS IS ALWAYS A CHOICE.

It’s been a long time since I “blogged” and someone would probably expect me to have a catchier headline but that’s catchier as it can get and it provides something to lift someone’s day.

I’m so being doctor phil here, maybe my without a blog month has made me go ballistic.

Anyway, the past month’s been good and the weekend was even better.

I saw my cousins again– something I haven’t done in a long time and it was really great seeing them, especially my sexy cousin, Ate Pam *wink*

***

You know what else makes me the coolest?

I SAW SPIDERMAN LAST NIGHT!

And I ate a hotdog.

I fell in love with spidey all over again.

Well not spidey or maryjane,

I fell in love with harry.

Young, young love.

Anyway, GO AND WATCH Spiderman better than the second!
Trust me:)

- admin Leave a comment

Entries that I failed to post in the past weeks.

*After Finals Entry*

Normal Things that happen during finals week: (normal to me, at the very least)
A) Forget dates and days and just recall them as: Monday: Business and Company Law, Tuesday is Strategic Marketing Day, Wednesday TERROR DAY and so on.
-This leads to the fact that when it’s really April 10, you think it’s the thirteenth and freak because the today show is about four days late!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

B) Ignore text messages from the sweet people who actually bother to text you and fail to respond to them because you’re thinking you’d reply answers to the test or even worse, send them mixed replies. Urg.

C) Delusional thoughts—which after the two weeks of tests you’d want to smack my head for.

D) Make powerade, coke and other caffeine induced drinks my new best friend.

E) Indigestion. Pure and Simple. The tummy lurches and everything else follows…

*Holy week Entry*

Remember when we were little and we saw the world as perfect?
Everything was so perfect.
Bad people you could sense from afar and friends never ever stab you in the back or in the front.
Bad things only happen out of unfortunate luck and not because there are just people who find happiness in making other people unhappy.

But, one day you’d wake up and sense that there is truly something wrong with the world.
It’s cruel, it’s unjust, and it hurts good people without any reason at all.

The world sucks, but what can we do?

We can never be children for long.
Some people are lucky that they don’t see how ugly it is at the age of ten.

Someone who may be reading my blog may say that what I’m going through is pure drama.

They just don’t know what I’m going through.

And I’d rather not say it.

Despite the so many things wrong in this world, I’m still grateful.

I know who the Lord is.
I have a solid family.
I have the coolest siblings in the world.
I have a best friend named, Karla who emails me everyday.
I have real friends and it doesn’t matter how little or many they are.
Leonardo Dicaprio; Wentworth Miller; Jason Kapono; Andy Roddick and Roger Federer exist in this otherwise very boring world.

I’m just hoping that in a way or two, I get to touch people’s lives.
That would be the greatest pursuit of my life.
That there’s some good that would come out of this drudgery, that people would rather pick each other up rather than grind them deeper into dust.

Life is good and I’d think that it just gets better.

- admin Leave a comment

the deal with the whole “the world is unfair” theory


This song is cute. Avril Lavigne gets prettier by the minute.

***

Yesterday, during law class, I was so ready to write a vey compelling entry about my life at the moment but two things stopped me:

A) I kept on having second thoughts because the said entry would definitely create some sort of wave, even if it’s just a small one because it involves people. People who when you hit the search engine, their names and thier annoying faces pop up.
We all know that that story is not about me.
B) I fell asleep. The Board Meeting and E! News kept me up later than usual.
Gad. It’s just so weird that most people sabotage thier jobs while other people strive to stay at it. I guess this is a simplistic version of what I was supposed to write about yesterday but I guess it’s safe to say that a few people know what I’m talking about.
Jerks aren’t even the word for those people.
Calling them jerks would be the understatement of the year.
***
Despite the many hurtings that I and the people I love has been through in the past week. I refuse to give in to giving up my faith.

Yes, Life’s been a bitch lately but that doesn’t mean I’d stop believing that there’s some good lurking aorund somewhere.
And all of this just a test.
***
I’ve been watching heroes lately and I have fallen madly in love with it.
“Save the cheerleader, save the world”
Now Milo Ventimiliga falls after Freddie Prinze Jr., Patrick Dempsey and James Lafferty even if he’s short.!

- admin Leave a comment

Of those we love one day and forget about the next

Before I begin my absurd entry, I would just like to greet my wonderful mother a:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

We’re blessed to have you as a mom.
***

I have no idea how to start this entry. All I know is that I’m supposed to be talking about changes.

A lot of them.
When I was about ten or eleven years old, I had a stuff toy that could say whatever I trained it to say. Damn, I forgot what it was called, but I think it was called fuzzy or something. It was the coolest thing. I would take it anywhere with me.

Until Freddie Prinze Jr. happened
The year before I turned eleven, I was mightly in love with the “I know what you did last summer series” and that’s when my fuzzy fried have been dropped.

After Freddie Prinze, it was Nsync.

When I found Smallville, Lance Bass was zapped out of my life.

Then One Tree Hill came…

And the list goes on.

Not that I’m such a bad person, you see I still love my ex fuzzy friend, but he won’t be tagging along with me these days because things are just different.
I guess this is a huge metaphor of my life. Most days, I miss my friends from SPCP, CSA and ICA, but most days I wonder if they miss me at all.

This is not me being dramatic, it’s just one of those things you think of when you see them living their own lives.

This is a fact of life, most of the time, we love our old friends dearly but I guess you just don’t have anything in common anymore.
Unlike,my best friend, Karla, everyone seems to be just a little different.

And I don’t condemn them for that. It’s kindda cool actually, it’s like meeting new people all over again.

Like, they’re the same people, but then again, they’re not.

This is one thing, I’d never figure out, just like the many things life.

***

Speaking of changes. I was just wondering. What’s up with a girl who tries to run away when the guy of her dreams finally gives her the time of the day?

A coward.

Because she’s too afraid that maybe something good will finally happen to her.

***

I still wonder sometimes if there are still good people in this world. I think I may be having trust issues.
Major ones.
Like, people can be extremely nice when you first meet them, but what happens after that.
In relation to the title of this blog, I used to love meeting new people, but after all the bullsh*t that has happened in my life recently.
Really, is it even worth it?